Super seducer
Now, this is a new game
Uh?
Created and developed by actual human
Uh?
Richard...
[Richard] Hey, Mate! Richard La Ruina,
your friendly neighborhood seduction guru here
and welcome to "Super Seducer"
Here we go
mission one, girl on street
You're walking and a girl catches you eye.
Can you stop her and make her want to see you again?
Wow!
Here we go!
Mission 1
Huh!
Yeah!
This is some crazy-ass sidewalk music
Oh, uh-oh!
Okay, what do we do? We do...
Oh, think what do we do?
*breathing*
I'm thinking Wolf whistle, right?
*Idiot whistling*
[Girl] You wish
[Dunk]: What? I lost?
[Richard] It's just not polite, is it?
[Dunk] *Thinking*
Hmm?
That one!
That just-
[Richard] Yo, what up girl?
Can I just talk to you for a second?
where you headed?
[Girl] Hmm? Busy.
[Richard] Yeah? come back here!
[Dunk] Oh, god!
*Laughing*
[Richard] Not right!
You wanna stop her
and talk to her when she's stationary
*Ding* [Dunkey] Oohh! Thank you, Richard!
Here we go. That one always works.
Get-!
Get in there! Come- [Girl] Whoa!
[Dunkey] G, God-!
Damn it!
I feel like I'm out of options now.
I guess... I think this is the next dumbest thing, I guess.
Huh?
[Richard] That's correct!
when you go stop the street *Dunkey laughing in the background*
You need to be directly in front of her
and also leave enough space
so that she can slow down and comfortably stop
[Dunkey] Wait! Where did those hookers come from?
[Richard] Hey, Excuse me!
Can I tell you something really quickly?
[Girl] Sure!
[Richard] I just saw you
and wanted to let you know that you look really elegant
[Dunkey] *Singing* Bom, Bom, Bom Bom
[Richard] I like the skirt. It's really summery
[Girl] Thank you.
[Richard] This is good because you've given her a nice compliment
It's direct, It's made her smile,
and it's made her feel like speaking to you
So what's your plans for today?
[Girl] Hmm... actually going to the park
to feed the squirrels with my friend
[Richard] What? Feed squirrels?
[Girl] Yeah! [Dunkey] Dumb!
[Richard] What do you feed them? Like, hot dogs?
*Awkward laugh*
[Girl] Hmm. Almond?
[Richard] Almonds? [Girl] Yeah!
[Richard] That's their favorite. Is it?
[Girl] It seems to be.
[Richard] That's nice! So they're really cute. Aren't they?
[Girl] They are very cute
[Richard] You like animals?
[Girl] I do! Yes!
[Richard] That sounds funny, actually. I never thought of that.
Buy some almonds. Go feed the squirrels.
[Girl] You should try it, sometime.
[Richard] Okay!
[Girl] What are you doing today?
[Dunkey] Oh? I'm just playing this dumbass game.
Where you talk about squirrels for two hours
[Richard] You're just so beautiful
And I want to give you a kiss
[Girl] Whoa! No!
No, no no, no. [Richard] Why Not?
[Richard] I'm not trying to fuck you in the ass or anything
just a little kiss
[Girl] Fuck you!
[Dunkey] Ohh!
[Richard] This is the definition of creepy
the kind of stuff that's going to get you arrested
Thrown out of places by security
and in all kinds of problems,
So, don't do it!
[Dunkey] Okay, Richard.
Do this one now
[Richard] I like squirrels.
[Girl] Yep?
[Richard] Yeah, and I like nuts. I like-
[WTF is this game?]
Cashews
[Girl] Oh my god!
What?
[Richard] What?
[Girl] Oh, fucking pervert!
[Richard] You like nuts, you said.
If you like touching yourself, great! [Dunkey] Yeah!
But make sure you do it
in the privacy of your own home.
[Dunkey] Oh, god! I knew I was fucking something up
[Richard] Hey, You've got really interesting earrings
Can I take a look?
[Girl] Hmm, sure!
[Richard] Where did you get these?
What kind of things you like to do in your free time?
Did you ever tried climbing?
Are you single?
Do you live local, around here somewhere?
[Girl] Yeah!
[Richard] That's nice!
and you spend a lot of time in this area?
[Girl] Yeah!
[Richard] That's nice!
There's a nice coffee shop just down there.
Have you been there?
[Girl] I have.
[Richard] That's nice!
Listen. I've got a few minutes
Why don't we quickly grab a, grab a coffee?
[Girl] Oh, I'd like too,
but I'm actually going to meet my friends,
but I could give you my number.
[Richard] Okay. Yeah sure!
[Dunkey] We won
We've did it guys!
Okay. Let's recap
What did we learn?
You see a pretty girl on the sidewalk
then you quick run in front of her
put your arms up like basketball.
So she can't get pass
and then you barrage her with a thousand questions
until she either dies of old age
Or gives you a phone number
Okay, mission 2!
You got to seduce two women at a time, now.
This is, this is where it gets tricky
and notice how they're both sitting down
So, everything we learned thus far is worthless
*Thinking*
I'm thinking...
Let's go this way
[Richard] Listen
Do you know what I really
really like in a girl?
[Girl] Surprise me!
[Richard] My dick
[Girl] Ooooh! [Dick] Surprise!
Surprise!
[Girl] Oh, how smart! [Richard] Happy Surprise!
Don't be creepy
it's just not a good way to go
but, in the game. You know, cool!
We're done for-
[Dunkey] Fuck, okay!
Think, Dunkey, think!
What did Richard Branca say about this scenario?
What does he always say?
[Billy Mitchell] Everybody knew what pac-man was...
[Dunkey] *Thinking*
Creep up from behind the sofa!
*Metal Gear Stealth Music*
[Girl 1] What is this place?
[Girl 2] We just got here, you know. *Dunkey laughing*
let's just give it a chance
we will have a drink and...
See who's here...
*Metal Gear Alert Sound*
[Richard] Hey, girls! [Girl 1] You scared the shit out of me!
How is it going, girls?
[Girl 2] Get out!
*Metal Gear Solid - Game over sounds*
[OUTRO]