Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink.
Today, we are going to learn about 10 ways to heal from a breakup.
Now, let’s begin.
1.
Acknowledge Your Grief Break ups can be heart-wrenching experiences.
You may experience a range of emotions from sadness or regret to anger and self-doubt.
But the worst thing you can do is deny your feelings.
It’s not bad to experience grief after a relationship ends.
In fact, embracing emotional turmoil is one of the healthiest ways to recover from a difficult
breakup.
For some people, embracing their emotions is a difficult thing to do.
You don’t want to cry or grieve, because you don’t want the other person to know
you care.
Or maybe you’re pretending this person didn’t matter to you as much as they did.
Either way, you’re stuffing down your emotions and slowing the healing process.
Whether your relationship was good or bad, long or short, let yourself feel whatever
it is you feel.
Don’t put a cap on your emotions.
Don’t force yourself to feel one way or another.
Instead, be honest and validate your feelings.
Because you feel what you feel for a reason.
Pretending you don’t doesn’t help anyone.
2.
Firm Boundaries During the grieving process, there may be
times when you feel impulsive.
Suddenly, you want to call your ex and hear the sound of their voice.
You tell yourself you can fix the relationship.
Or maybe you just want to scream in their face.
In either case, it’s essential to set firm boundaries after a breakup.
Those boundaries keep you from making impulsive decisions, which you will almost always regret.
Unfortunately, these boundaries can be very difficult to enforce on your own, especially
in the first few days after your relationship ends.
So, don’t be afraid to ask a friend or family member for help.
Let them know that you’re struggling to keep your distance.
Whenever you’re thinking of doing something impulsive, your friend can remind you why
it’s a bad idea.
Because it is a bad idea.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself space to work through your emotions
and figure out what’s best for you.
Calling your ex may sound like a good idea now, but in a week, you’ll have a clearer
picture of what you want.
Until then, keep your distance, maintain firm boundaries, and don’t do anything you’ll
regret tomorrow.
3.
A Simple Routine After a breakup, many people lose all motivation.
You feel distant from your passions.
You want to lay in bed all day and think about what went wrong.
And that makes you feel even worse.
Not only are you grieving the relationship, but you’re also frustrated by your lack
of productivity.
If this sounds familiar, there’s an easy way to keep yourself on track.
What you need is a simple routine.
Create a basic, healthy schedule you can follow each day.
No expectations.
No pressure.
No stress.
Just a few simple activities to give your day some structure and keep you moving in
the right direction.
As you process and grieve, you can lean on your routine when you’re lacking passion
or motivation.
That way, you don’t have to make decisions.
You don’t have to use any willpower.
All you need is a simple routine, and you’ve got nothing to worry about.
4.
Sentimental Freedom After a break-up, you may be surrounded by
reminders of your relationship.
Gifts your ex bought you.
Clothes you borrowed.
Pictures you took together.
Every time you look around your room, you think about them.
But it’s impossible to grieve when you’re surrounded by reminders of your ex.
To heal after a difficult break-up, you need to get rid of everything sentimental from
your relationship.
You don’t need to throw it all away.
But you should pack it in a box and place it somewhere you can’t see it, like a drawer
or the back of your closet.
This can be a difficult thing to do on your own.
You may need to ask a friend or family member for help, but that’s okay to ask for help.
The sooner you remove these items from your space, the sooner you can clear your thoughts,
process your grief, and begin to move on.
5.
Release Your Emotions Break-ups trigger a wide range of powerful
emotions.
You want to hold someone’s hand.
You want to punch someone in the face.
You want to cry for hours on end.
When you’re experiencing such a flurry of emotions, it’s important to release those
emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
For example, exercise is a great emotional outlet after a break-up.
Running, lifting weights, or even boxing can release pent-up energy and emotion.
Sometimes, all you need is a hard work-out to see things clearly.
So, if you’re recovering from a break-up, find time to exercise and move your body.
Use this habit as an outlet for all the emotions pent up inside you.
Run as hard as you can.
Punch a punching bag.
Push your body to its limit.
Believe me, you’ll feel better afterwards.
6.
Social Support Many people isolate themselves after a relationship
ends.
You don’t want anyone to see you, and you don’t have the energy to go anywhere.
You want to grieve in solitude, but that solitude is working against you.
Friends and family play a critical role in your grief and recovery.
Not only do they help you maintain boundaries after a breakup, but they also distract you
from your grief and remind you what it’s like to have fun.
Instead of shutting people out, let your friends and family in.
Let them keep you company.
Find things you enjoy together.
Tell them about what you’re feeling and listen to the advice they give.
There is no perfect remedy that’ll take away your pain.
Breakups are always going to hurt, no matter who you are, but that doesn’t mean you need
to go suffer in solitude. 7.
Write a Letter There may be things you wish you could say
to your partner that you never actually could.
Maybe you didn’t get to tell them how the breakup made you feel.
Maybe you want to yell in their face and tell them how much they hurt you.
Whatever you’re feeling, it’s important to get these thoughts out of your brain.
To heal after a break-up, sit down and write a letter to yourself or to your ex.
In that letter, say every terrible thing you want to say.
Don’t hold anything back.
Be as honest, mean, or grief-stricken as you want.
But here’s the catch.
Just because you’re writing a letter…
doesn’t mean you’re going to send it.
You may be tempted to give your ex a piece of your mind but trust me… you will only
do more damage.
So, write your letter.
Spill your feelings, then tuck that letter away somewhere safe.
That way, you can heal and process your breakup without doing something you regret.
8.
Enjoy Your Solitude When you’re in a relationship, you always
have someone to spend time with.
You rarely do anything by yourself, and you always need to consider someone else’s needs.
After that relationship ends, it can be a difficult transition from spending time with
a partner to spending time alone.
Many people see this transition as sad or lonely.
But it can be an uplifting and empowering experience, allowing you to really reconnect
with yourself.
So, create opportunities to enjoy your own company.
Plan outings for yourself.
Engage with old passions.
Get in touch with the sides of your personality you didn’t show around your ex.
Sometimes, relationships can mask our favorite parts of who we are.
So, let those qualities shine.
Do things you could never do before, and rediscover how great it can be to spend time alone.
9.
Ask for Closure Most people cut off all contact after a breakup.
This may be one of the boundaries you set for yourself.
You decide you’re never going to speak to your ex again, but that’s not always the
best decision.
In fact, one final conversation can be an important step in the healing process.
As you grieve, you may find yourself wondering why the relationship ended.
What went wrong?
What could I have done differently?
You may feel like your life is full of loose-ends and unanswered questions.
In other words, you need some closure.
In that case, it’s okay to reach out to your ex.
It’s okay to ask them why the relationship ended.
You may not get the answer you wanted to hear, but at least you know.
And now that you know, you can process your grief and move forward.
10.
Moving On Last but not least, there is one big step
you need to take before you can fully heal from your break-up.
When you’ve explored your emotions, purged all physical reminders, and found meaningful
closure, the next thing you need to do… is move on.
You don’t need to jump into a relationship right away.
You don’t need to be romantic with anyone if you don’t want to, but you do need to
accept that your life is different now than it was before.
Moving on means entering a new stage in your life.
You’re no longer healing from a break-up.
Now, you’re single and maybe even looking.
In other words, the grieving process has to end eventually.
If you’ve made peace with your past, it may be time to start thinking about the future.
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