okay tell us something about John we
might not know and he's left testicle
testicle no a major kick sir this is
something might not know he's got a
really big crush on Anthea ten is that
you John it's true yes I wasn't aware I
wasn't aware you knew that he's biggest
fantasy I think would be me and Anthea
Turner folding clothes together
there's a little knob there were slight
wolves in your face this what is it you
like about her I don't think this is
really the place she wouldn't let you
take it to be a name on a Sunday I
coward you're gonna have to tell Jimmy
what being a mess what's being it's one
of the leading variety stars in the
country the variety store it's a bit
like if being Q home base crude paranoid
and so you go there every Sunday we do
we don't go honest and x10 busy on a
Sunday we go we don't either you can
have any tea towel you want sure if you
go on mascot now what I've done Jimmy
I've created something I call total
comedy that you're aware of the Dutch
team of the 1970s a famous Dutch bubble
TV I cried
they played total football total comedy
what is his basis my comedy characters I
do how many characters I'll just go
through them they know some of them like
this one here Oh put the cat out that
was Renee no fixed abode or gender
that's Darcy win balls this is oh you've
done this place up nice
that is enough that's art Falacci oh I
have three of your warmest soups
this is cheeky Lionel no you can't have
any of mine
now the cheeky the cheeky is ironic
because he's actually quite rude
does anyone have a phone charger that's
stayed in from belfast do a lot coughing
start with him got a corporate stuff and
then I always finish with salary we'll
know it
[Music]
always on my mind cuz my my scene
teacher said Shawn you have an amazing
tool I mean you're really getting
tucking into the meze yeah do you know
what you want to be careful what you eat
John genuinely cuz I've had ice try this
for like four days because I kissed my
dog on the mouth and he's definitely was
eating fox poo so you got your little
job yeah
you kiss it fully on the mouth I kiss
I'm right on the mouth I can't help it
right I mean and then I did it the other
day and I was like whoa it was foxy I
knew there was a problem and then I just
you know went about my business but I
have been violently ill until pretty
much noon today and that's four days I
kiss him every day it's been so hard for
you if you saw him do you kiss your dogs
of course no
you've started kissing it you're only a
hop skip and a jump
yeah hananim okay and your time starts
now
[Music]
Jesus I've overfed this bloody thing I
like snakes
I was once peed on by a snake yeah I
think you're a very nice woman
you wanna have a touch I guess so yeah
it's pretty nice now actually what what
you mean it's quite heavy Rachel don't
put the snake near my face we've been
through this no that's where I keep
always felt he's found a soul mate
John what have you got seven we have to
do sterilize what why do we have to
sterilize TB it's a shame the snake
didn't get to come out for the numbers
because I hear they're great adders
have you gone mad spa
so Jimmy recently I was approached
there's been a problem far too many
people are being called national
treasures so I've been asked by the
media to become like the head of the
national treasures committee to decide
who's in and who's out
I say you put them no box on my side yes
so I'm gonna go through them one by one
and see whether they make it it this is
fun we start for this fella right surely
in edge here
no but love it national treasure sure
know the reason is not in is he dyes his
hair he's actually got black hair
I said no I've seen him run off from his
bath it's unbelievable next up this
cheeky chappy a lot of people say to me
Shawn what's the sensible amount to
drink
I always say imagine your ant McPartlin
and you'll be driving your mum home
afternoon enjoy yourself
but don't go mental it's your mum she
brought you up don't have any tequila's
so that when you do crash you're not
driving so fast
and nobody gets killed there we go he's
in yeah he's in he makes it in yeah
because you know he could have killed
someone but he didn't because he didn't
get too pissed now this guy Greg Wallace
Greg came close because I like him
because he wears a hairnet
Chris patchy what sort of hand it well
he married some baldness we'll get in
the kitchen no I'd like him because he's
got no sense of irony or humor he's very
close to getting through but I've met
him
no Greg he tried to put a spoon in my
pudding you think she'd be a shoo-in
definition sure no
bison table next to you gonna tell
and he charged the numbers it's free to
Riley
okay this joke I will stake my
reputation on this Rachel is heavily
pregnant so let's get a move on before
someone unexpectedly slides down her
chimney the hard words with like phrases
that don't scare you that's quite nice
in process I don't wanna mansplaining it
- you better be fine no bigger than a
bowling ball good luck
okay so playing countdown can be pretty
tense so let's help the players chill
out with the countdown relaxation round
[Music]
John what would you find most relaxing
well you would have to not be here what
I don't like is this that's happening
now it's sort of premise that it's gonna
be a relaxation round and then
something's gonna explode and I'm gonna
my pants but it's gonna be fully
fully relaxing there's nothing's gonna
go bang or pop it's just gonna be
relaxing okay
bring on the countdown masseuses
okay
it's
[Music]
Jones lives like that home from Game of
Thrones
just massage head massage a little bit
more maybe just a head
not my head some crushed my head all
right yeah
[Laughter]
I will allow a fee on the table for this
round as well if you want to properly
relax oh yeah do that
John pick your letters consonant please
okay a vowel please hey we go back to
the head can we go back to head massage
for Joe
consonant there's a lot of tension in
that baby
constable please Wow I okay so for the
countdown relaxation round
your time startsnow oh Jesus what you
know what
[Music]
Joe I think I've got a nine for
you