Now, tonight, we are celebrating Seat Snatch 2018.
(cheering)
That's right.
We're encouraging black women to run for office.
And while 590 candidates is a good start,
it's like unlimited breadsticks on a first date--
we want more.
(whispering) Oh, and I tricked my friend RJ into being here,
and now I'm gonna make him do a telethon
to get more black women to run.
(RJ clearing throat)
I can hear you.
Huh?
A telethon?
You told me we were going to Coachella.
Now I look like an idiot!
No, an idiot
who can help a lot of black women get elected.
Oh. Yes.
(cheering and applause)
Oh... Okay, well, you know, that's nice.
Wait a minute, did-- did you call me an idiot? Huh?
Now, it's simply not enough to have black women candidates.
We also need to vote for them.
But there's one big problem sitting in our way
like a long-torso person at a movie.
(laughter)
Voter suppression.
When state legislatures take voting laws
and try to shape them...
We're seeing with this voter suppression, um, efforts
to keep African- Americans out of the electorate.
Wow, I haven't seen a more successful effort
to keep black people out since CBS's Thursday night lineup.
(cheering and laughter)
But Republicans are trying to whitewash democracy
more than Allison Janney's résumé.
I've seen the GOP voter suppression playbook up close.
And here's what it is. It's three steps to it.
Step one is to undermine faith in American democracy.
Step two is to put up obstacles to voting.
Step three is to put up obstacles to those obstacles.
Damn, the obstacles have obstacles?
I'm sorry, is this voting or the 10K mud run
my co-worker tried to talk me into?
I'm not getting mud in my hair for a free T-shirt, Karen.
Now, identifying voter suppression
can be kind of overwhelming.
So I thought I'd make it a little less scary
by showing you how it works
using these adorable black puppies.
(dogs barking)
Yes. (cheering and applause)
Aww.
Now, listen...
you guys are POC,
puppies of color.
And now you're going to represent black voters, okay?
But, you know, watch out for white people
asking if they can touch your fur, all right.
Now, like the way we spell "Sean,"
voter suppression can take many forms.
(laughter)
For example, the literal infrastructure of voting booths
can be used against us.
(male reporter) Primarily black voter areas
have fewer voting machines.
I mean, all these different structural
and cultural dynamics come into play.
(second male reporter) It is statistically the case
that there are about 300 more voters
in predominantly black precincts in Alabama... Yes.
...than in white precincts. Yes, yes, and, and,
you know, with fewer and fewer machines.
That's not enough voting machines for all my puppies!
Puppies, demand better infrastructure.
We need to work together like the robotics team
that assembled Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
(laughter and groans)
Then there's all the rampant disinformation scams,
which can make voting seem as dangerous
as having to pee while wearing a romper.
(male reporter) A campaign scam involving
a series of fake ads is making the rounds.
It carried captions like "vote from home"
and "avoid the line."
"Avoid the line"? "Vote from home"?
Is this a voter scam or are they just pitching
new Fifth Harmony singles?
Now, once you get to the polling place,
you might face the final test-- long lines.
So make sure your phone is charged
and that you've downloaded "Family Matters"
because you'll probably have enough time to watch
until Judy disappears.
(female reporter) The lines were extremely long.
They've waited anywhere from an hour
to an hour and a half.
And those are people that probably were waiting,
I don't know, a third of the way down the line.
I wish I did more, especially when it comes
to encouraging them to wait in line,
'cause I know some of the lines are like three hours long.
Now, I've seen movies where dogs can play basketball.
So, puppies, I know it's hard,
but you can wait in line for three hours, okay?
Finally, voter suppression is like another "Cars" sequel,
because it disproportionately hurts moms and dads.
A lot of people will probably put that as an excuse
that they didn't have nowhere to leave their children.
(male reporter) YMCAs are offering free childcare.
Wait, YMCA?
I guess it takes a village, people.
(laughter)
(cheering and applause)
Ay, ay, ayo, Robin. Huh?
Robin, what kinda telethon is this?
You didn't even give out a phone number,
and these phones aren't even plugged in.
Huh?
That's why the puppies are eating one of your shoes. 122 00:04:18,158 --> 00:00:00,000 What?! Bad puppies! Bad voters!