INFJs are warm, loving individuals who are keenly aware of the needs of others.
Many people believe they were put on this planet to help everyone else and make the
world a better place.
But this isn't always the case.
Have you ever encountered an INFJ in their worst shape?
Or do you shiver at the thought, knowing you've been that INFJ at some point in your life?
And it wasn't likely a pleasant experience.
At their finest, INFJs are perceptive, caring, innovative, and creative.
The unhealthy INFJ, on the other hand, can be a force to reckon with.
You could be an INFJ who recognizes some of your negative tendencies, or you could have
an INFJ in your life who you're trying to understand.
What causes an INFJ to be unhealthy?
Several things may come to mind.
Because some INFJs haven't had a lot of life experiences, they have a relatively limited
view of the world.
Others have just not put out the effort to grow as INFJs.
Others are "unhealthy" due to circumstances beyond their control like if they adopted
unhealthy behaviors and coping methods from their parents, or they were emotionally abused
by a close friend or partner.
Some of these bad traits will be familiar to many INFJs, while others will (ideally)
be unfamiliar because INFJs only encounter them at their worst.
That being said, here are 10 negative traits of the unhealthy INFJ.
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Ok now that’s out of the way, let’s get started.
They close their minds to other perspectives
This is linked to a strong dislike of conflict.
INFJs are renowned for wanting to avoid conflict, but a healthy INFJ would appreciate different
and new perspectives from other people who think differently than them.
However, an unhealthy INFJ would feel threatened by being offered new insights.
When someone expresses an opinion or perspective that contradicts their own, they are more
likely to feel personally attacked, like they were being called out even though this isn't true.
They naturally close themselves off to protect themselves from what hurts them.
Rather than being curious about how something they're interested in works, they're more
likely to say things like, "That's ridiculous" or " What gives you the right to think or
believe that?"
They rarely let anyone in
INFJs are introverts by nature, so they open up slowly to others — and that's fine.
However, when INFJs refuse to open themselves to others, this predisposition can become
a problem.
They might not even open up to a significant other, best friend, or close family member.
Because they are afraid of being judged, unhealthy INFJs rarely disclose their genuine thoughts
and feelings with others.
They may get lonely and unhappy as a result of their isolation.
To be at their best, INFJs, like any other personality type, require solid relationships
and this can only be achieved if they can let at least one person in to help them.
They are single-minded
INFJs are obsessed with narrowing down their alternatives to only one best option for their lives.
They spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing before deciding, but once they do, it's nearly
tough to persuade them to change their minds.
It's as if their body simply slips into autopilot mode to meet their vision's requirements.
Despite being hard workers, INFJs can actually procrastinate a lot, but once they have a
clear goal, they are practically unstoppable.
While this can be beneficial, it can also make them completely impenetrable to alternative
suggestions.
They may strive to accomplish their goal, even if it means jeopardizing their health,
relationships, or well-being.
They are passive about life
INFJs have a natural ability to be observers.
They enjoy taking a step back and studying and reflecting.
They're also quite laid-back in groups, and they're usually content to let others have
their way.
These tendencies, however, can cause them to become passive, meaning they will not take
action and will instead allow things to happen to them.
INFJs who are unhealthy allow others to dictate their decisions for them.
They're not going to fight back.
In fact, they will hardly respond at all.
They might be going on a date and their significant other asks “What do you want to do tonight?”
and they respond with “Whatever you want to do is fine!”.
They won't be able to make a "bad" decision this way.
These INFJs may have a lack of sense of control in the face of their situations.
They don’t acknowledge their emotions
INFJs are more likely to keep their emotions to themselves and hate intense, public displays
of emotion (these displays can feel manipulative to INFJs).
This may cause INFJs to focus on their Introverted Thinking function while completely ignoring
their emotional side.
There must, however, be a balance.
INFJs know they shouldn't spend their lives based on their emotions, but mature INFJs
know that they are emotional beings who may live their best lives when they pay attention
to their feelings — and consider them as a meaningful source of information when making
decisions.
They are perfectionists
INFJs have a tendency to create comprehensive, complex mental images of how they want their
work to look.
They are idealists with idealistic ambitions and expectations.
This means that they can keep improving, that their efforts can always be better, and that
they feel compelled to keep developing and become better versions of themselves.
Although personal development is beneficial, it can be harmful if it leads to a constant
state of discontent with oneself.
Instead of straining and hurting themselves to the point of burnout and persistent discontent,
INFJs should know that they and their efforts are already good enough and take time to rest
instead of drowning themselves with their ideals.
They struggle with compulsive behavior
INFJs are more inclined to overeat, over-exercise, binge-watch, or engage in other compulsive
behaviors in response to stress.
For one thing, it takes their minds off the discomfort of being so conscious of other
feelings (especially the difficult ones).
It provides them something to do — something to divert their attention away from.
It also provides temporary relief.
Both eating and exercising activate the brain's rewards region.
Binge-watching a favorite show, especially if it makes them laugh, can do the same.
It's self-medicating in a way.
INFJs who are unhealthy are especially vulnerable to addictions that make them feel better or
relax their nervous system.
They believe they are better than others
This characteristic is common among people who have only recently identified their INFJ
personality type.
Because there are so few people who are similar to INFJs, it's common for them to feel misunderstood
in their early years.
When they eventually find a solution to their problems, they may go too far in the opposite
direction, believing that they are the best empaths, the best personality type, and the
most perceptive.
They begin to look down on "common folk" (other more ordinary personality types) and may exude
a snobbish attitude.
They easily cut people out of their lives
If you know an INFJ or you are one, you might be aware of the INFJ door slam.
It isn't quite as literal (or as terrible) as it portrays.
INFJs are more prone to silently vanish from a person's life, closing off all forms of
communication in the process.
When it comes to toxic people, this can be beneficial.
If they take this to an unhealthy level, however, they are more prone to cut people out of their
lives abruptly even if the person hasn't done anything significantly wrong.
They're also likely to harbor anger and hatred toward people who have wronged them.
They're just vaguely unaware of their grudges at times.
They may refuse to interact with the person, particularly if the person they're mad at
hasn't attempted to make amends.
They assume that everyone hates them
The majority of people in the world may feel misunderstood from time to time.
INFJs, on the other hand, have a difficult time finding people who truly "understand"
them.
Because so few individuals perceive information in the same manner they do, they frequently
struggle to articulate their ideas and visions.
Because their intuition is introverted, their ideas and insights are frequently perceived
as symbols or pictures in their minds.
Trying to put those thoughts and images into words can be difficult, and they often get
shrugs or puzzled looks rather than acceptance or curiosity.
As a result, many INFJs are extremely critical of themselves and may even feel as though
they annoy people by speaking out their mind.
What permeates the INFJ with "negative" traits or "shortcomings" is less a fundamental flaw
of the personality type itself.
It can be a product of that individual's level of growth or self-actualization (or lack thereof).
INFJs must be a part of something larger than themselves.
They must be able to see themselves as part of a larger picture.
And they won't be able to accomplish it if they're engrossed in their own thoughts, feeling
as though it's them against the world.
If they realize they're unhealthy (which is a great first step), they could seek help
and find a way to better their well-being.