- A "ride or die" is someone who always has your back,
someone who is by your side, ride,
until the end, or die.
In this video, we're gonna look at
the ride or die inter-type relationship,
which is perhaps the pairing with the potential
for the most harmony between any two types.
First, I'll tell you how to figure out
which personality type is the ride or die for your type,
and then I'll explain why this is the case,
because you guys are gonna be shocked
at who your ride or die is.
Frank, last week you said we'd be shocked
about who the rival type is.
Are we just gonna be shocked
by every inter-type relationship on your channel?
Yes, yes you will.
And then I'll wrap it up, put a bow on it,
by telling you some of the things
that make this inter-type relationship so flippin' special.
To find out which personality type
is your personality type's ride or die,
all you have to do is take the four letters of your type
and flip all of 'em.
That's right, INFPs, your ride or die is the ESTJ.
INFJ, your ride or die is the ESTP.
INTJs, your ride or die is the ESFP.
INTPs, I know you're gonna be mystified by this,
but your ride or die is the ESFJ, and so on and so forth.
Frank, how can this be?
Aren't we opposite types?
Come on, man!
How am I supposed to ride or die with a type
with whom I have nothing in common?
Some of you might go so far as to say,
"I would rather die than ride with this ride or die."
Yeah, the letters might be all different,
but don't let that fool you.
You have way more in common with your ride or die
than you think.
In fact, even though your rival type
that we talked about in a previous video
has three of the four letters the same as you,
you are more similar to your ride or die
with none of the same letters.
As always, the explanation comes down
to the cognitive functions.
Frank, rival type, ride or die type,
are you just naming these relationships
after seasons of MTV's hit reality show "The Challenge?"
Ah...
No?
Now, cognitive functions
are like the building blocks of personality types,
and if you don't know what cognitive functions are,
it's okay.
I have an introductory video for you,
and if I forget to link the card above my head,
just search for YouTube, "Frank James, cognitive functions."
Don't search the word "YouTube" in the search.
Just go to YouTube and search it.
Do not search, "Frank James slaps an old lady."
That was a long time ago, okay?
People just won't let it go.
In short, every personality type
has four cognitive functions in a certain order.
It's what we call the cognitive function stack.
Just think of a stack of pancakes.
It goes from your dominant function,
which is your strongest function, the top pancake,
the pancake that gets the most syrup and melted butter,
going down to the functions that you prefer less,
until you get to the fourth function, the inferior function,
which is basically your biggest weakness,
the dry pancake at the bottom that didn't get no maple syrup
because you neglected it.
There's a lot more to cognitive functions,
so definitely watch that video I've mentioned
if you don't know a lot about them,
but I've given you enough info right now for this video.
You and your ride or die type
have the same four cognitive functions,
but you have them in reverse order,
and this is an amazing thing
because when you have all the same cognitive functions
as someone else, there is a great deal
of immediate understanding between the two of you
because your wiring is so similar.
It's like you're playing bass
and your ride or die is playing guitar.
They're different instruments, but knowing one
gives you a certain understanding of the other.
It's not like the other person is playing the flute,
which would be an entirely different instrument altogether.
Now, when you're with your ride or die type
with the exact reverse order of cognitive functions,
that means that their dominant function
is your inferior function and vice versa.
The areas where you are the weakest,
they will be the strongest,
and the areas where they are the weakest,
you will be the strongest.
In other words, these two types
are perfectly complimentary to each other.
With your powers combined,
the two of you are perfectly balanced.
As all things should be.
The two of you can come together to make the Megazord.
You are two little kids under a big trench coat
sneaking into a PG 13 movie.
Now, when we're talking about the 16 personalities,
we're really talking about
the way that we perceive information
and the way that we make decisions.
The ride or die pairings
make decisions and take in information
in different yet perfectly complimentary ways.
As an example, let's look at the ride or dies INTP and ESFJ.
And editor Kevin said
he wanted to put the graphic on the screen.
So, pressure's on, Kevin.
Let's see what you can do.
So over here we have a diagram
representing the cognitive functions of the INTP and ESFJ.
And you'll notice
they have all the same functions in reverse order.
So let's start with the perceiving functions.
When it comes to taking in information,
the INTP and the ESFJ
both have extroverted intuition and introverted sensing.
They both have them as their second and third functions,
just the reverse of each other.
So those functions
are only a little bit out of balance for these types.
It's no biggie.
It's more of a Tupac.
So dumb.
Frank, you are so white.
Now, the INTP prefers extroverted intuition,
and so they're looking
at the abstract connections in reality
and gathering as much of that information as possible.
The extroverted perceiving functions just keep gathering.
On the flip side, the ESFJ prefers introverted sensing,
and so they're focusing on the sensory real world details,
narrowing them down and organizing them.
That's what all the introverted perceiving functions do:
narrow down, organize.
While just one of these types on their own
might struggle a little bit,
because they're relying more on one function or the other,
when they're together,
they can put together the whole picture of reality.
Meanwhile, when it comes to decision-making,
both the INTP and ESFJ
have introverted thinking and extroverted feeling.
Now they both have them
as they're inferior and dominant functions,
so those functions are very out of balance.
Just like the bookkeeping for my YouTube business.
Am I right?
So the INTP prefers introverted thinking,
which is a process of making decisions
by figuring out what makes sense to me.
On the other end of that,
the ESFJ prefers extroverted feeling,
which is a process of making decisions
by asking how does everyone else feel about this?
Alone, these types struggle mightily with decisions
because the other side of their decision-making coin
is their biggest weakness.
But when these two types get together,
they now have all the pieces of the decision-making puzzle
and they can show each other the merits
of both the introverted thinking
and the extroverted feeling processes.
The bass and guitar are now playing in perfect harmony.
Now, you might well say,
"Frank, the INTP also shares these complimentary functions
"with the ISFJ," which is true,
but the functions that are most out of balance
with the INTP, TI and FE,
introverted thinking and extroverted feeling,
are also the most out of balance with the ESFJ,
the ride or die.
But with an ISFJ, their TI and FE are relatively balanced,
whereas their SI and NE,
the introverted sensing and extroverted intuition,
are the most out of balance.
These differences in what functions are out of balance
make a big difference,
because only the ride or die is able to relate to
and completely compliment that imbalance.
It's only with the ride or die
that that fourth pancake on the bottom of the stack
can get the same amount of that sweet maple syrup
and melted butter as the top pancake.
This video is sponsored by IHOP.
Now, the ride or die relationship is pretty special.
It causes an instant admiration for the other person.
Sometimes it can even cause instant attraction,
whether platonic, or the main reason why I think most people
get into it, apology, if they're honest, romantic.
Now, just because you are ride or dies
doesn't mean there aren't some difficulties occasionally.
You will not always agree
with the way your ride or die makes decisions,
the things they get focused on,
or the perspectives they have.
However, unlike several inter-type relationships,
when there is a disagreement
between you and your ride or die,
it will tend to be respectful.
You will innately be able to understand
where the other person is coming from,
even if you don't agree with it.
The best thing about the ride or die relationship though
is that it is a relationship
of mutual benefit and mutual growth.
It's a two-way street.
Not only are you teaching, but you are learning,
and you might not even realize it,
because it just feels natural.
Now, a lot of people think,
"Oh, if I meet someone of the same personality type as me,
"we will instantly understand each other."
Like the only person who could completely ever understand
an INFJ is another INFJ, for example.
I disagree.
I think your ride or die
will have a great deal of understanding for you.
And not only that, they'll help you unlock and understand
parts of your personality
that you didn't even realize were there.
Likewise, you'll be able to do the same
for your ride or die.
To give you a brief, very broad example,
an INFJ will recognize the ways
that an ESTP desires to come up with a driving purpose
and mission for their life,
and to get other people to value that and jump on board.
And the ESTP will be like, "Oh, yeah, wow.
"I guess that is what I've been struggling to figure out."
Meanwhile, the ESTP will recognize
that an INFJ desires to open up
and experience the freedom of the present moment,
and to trust themselves more
in making decisions that might be unpopular.
And the INFJ will be like, "Dang, guilty as charged!"
This is what causes that strong bond between these types.
It's really the only inter-type relationship
where both parties are able to look at each other and say,
"This other person is really different from me,
"but I get them, they get me,
"and we each see something in each other
"that we want to become a little bit more like."
Thanks for watching and until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mister Frank James ♪