Hey everyone!
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
It's Aileen.
Today I want to share a few new year's resolution ideas to grow your confidence in 2019.
This is in collaboration with MuchelleB.
She's another amazing YouTuber.
Hopefully you know who she is.
She also makes videos on lifestyle design, simplifying your life, productivity, you name it.
Together, we're going to share 10 tips on ways to grow your confidence next year.
I'm going to share five, she's going to share five.
Make sure you check out her video which is linked down below.
So let's get started.
The first way to grow your confidence in 2019 is to start keeping a tab of your small wins.
There's a reason why I put this section called "Today's Wins" in my Daily Planner that I created,
because it's so important to count all your little wins,
because the more wins you have, the more confidence you build in that area.
I have a whole video that goes into detail on
how to build your confidence with those small wins, which I'll link down below.
The basic idea is that, whenever you're starting out something new,
you're not very confident, you're not very good, and you're very unsure of yourself.
That's normal and natural.
You only grow confident by continuing to do that thing, get practice,
and with practice and action, you get better.
And as you get better, you'll get positive feedback,
whether other people tell you you're getting better
or you're actually seeing the stats of you getting better.
And those small wins give you a little boost of confidence each time.
So as you keep trying and developing yourself,
there will be times where you succeed and you get an easy positive feedback loop.
There will be times where you fail, where you will feel bad about yourself.
The thing is, you want to turn everything into a win and a positive feedback loop.
When you fail, you have to see it in a positive light:
What did I learn from this situation?
How can I be better next time?
So a failure can also be a positive feedback loop.
A failure is also considered a small win, if you look at it from that way.
Anyway, keeping a tab of your small wins – your failures and lessons included –
will give you more confidence to keep going in that area
because you've seen how far you've already come,
how much you've already accomplished, and the progress you've already made.
The next way you can grow your confidence in 2019 is to
start using empowering affirmations to build your self love.
We all tend to have negative self talk.
We're critical on ourselves.
What you want to do is be able to flip it as soon as you have that negative thought.
Once you have that negative thought, you want to be able to be aware of it
and be like, "Hey, I change my mind.
I choose not to think about that."
One way to help you build that is to build that positive and empowering vocabulary of self talk.
So ways you can practice this is to write down the compliments that you want to hear,
the things that you like to hear from other people that make you feel the best.
Maybe you like to be complimented on your creativity or how kind you are.
Write down all of those positive things about yourself.
Keep it on your phone.
If you're a visual person, what you can do is create this self love board of yourself.
Put your picture in the center.
This could be on paper or digital.
Around your photo, write down all the positive and empowering affirmations
that you'd like to hear about yourself.
Write it on this paper and look at it every day.
It'll make you feel like you are the center of all this positivity, and it just helps a little bit.
If you're more of an audible person, maybe you prefer to listen rather than to look at things,
then what you can do is record yourself saying these positive affirmations to yourself
and play that recording in the morning when you're getting ready, on your drive to work.
In that way, you are your own motivator, you're your own best friend
which is how things should be.
And you're kind of practicing ingraining that positive self talk,
getting used to hearing positivity rather than negativity.
The next resolution you can make to build your confidence next year it to
take time to declutter and revamp your entire wardrobe and style.
I really believe that you can be confident from the outside-in, as well as the inside-out.
Before this, we were talking about self talk which is from the inside.
But you can also look fabulous on the outside and that makes you confident as well.
Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly changing as a person,
you're constantly growing.
And so, the way that you express yourself, the clothes that you wear,
should be constantly changing and evolving as well.
I'm not telling you to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.
But I'm just telling you to think about that KonMari method.
Make sure that everything that you own sparks joy and makes you feel amazing in your life.
Make sure that everything that you wear promotes your self love and confidence,
instead of owning sweaters that you feel ugly in
or owning things that don't fit you quite right anymore.
Take that time to let go of any old baggage, anything that doesn't serve you anymore.
Just say thank you and then donate it, send it off,
out of your life so that you can bring some new energy
and some new looks and style into your life as well.
It really does do so much for your confidence.
The next tip to help you build your confidence in 2019 is to learn to protect your energy,
meaning it's time to create this bubble around yourself
where you only choose to let in things that support you,
support your self love, support your confidence and your well-being.
Ways you can do this is to start to unfollow or unfriend any person or thing
that does not serve you, that makes you feel bad about yourself.
I don't know about you but some people, you've just followed on social media for so long
but you don't realize that every time you see those posts, you start to feel bad about yourself.
Maybe you originally followed them for health inspiration,
and then in the end, they made you feel guilty every time you saw their photos.
So in that case, just unfollow them.
It's just healthier for you to not have that negative energy in your feed.
Same thing with people in your life.
If anyone's really draining your energy,
if someone is taking more than giving or more than being a good friend,
it's time to distance yourself and protect yourself from that negative energy.
Your priority is your own well-being, so anything that is pulling you down,
making you feel bad about yourself, making you feel lesser than or unworthy,
you need to learn to cut it out.
There's no time for comparing yourself to others, feeling lesser than, feeling unworthy.
That it just such a waste of your light and your purpose here on this earth.
Something I heart from Nabela Noor who's another creator that I love,
she said: "Hating yourself is not doing the world any good."
And it's so true.
So anything that makes you feel bad about yourself or hate yourself is just a waste of time.
You want to cut it out, protect your energy,
because in 2019, we only have time to be our best selves,
be uplifted, glowing, fabulous, confident, amazing, all of that.
The last tip I want to share is for building confidence in social situations in 2019.
I know a lot of us have social anxiety or we're shy.
It's awkward to go out, meet people, network. I get it.
What you want to do is be prepared.
Prepare an elevator pitch about yourself that, when people ask,
"Who are you? What do you do?" –
something that's 1-2 minutes sharing who you are,
what you do, what you care about, just so you have something to say
when people introduce themselves to you, asking you about what you do.
I think the hardest, awkward part about meeting new people is just the beginning,
of not knowing what to say or how to act.
So it's best to at least come prepared, and when you come prepared,
you'll sound a lot more confident in the beginning.
It's kind of like "fake it til you make it".
You sound confident and you're going to keep flowing with that confidence from there.
Another tip for feeling less awkward or uncomfortable on social situations is to
stop putting the focus on yourself, and instead put your focus and curiosity in other people.
Just be a curious person.
Just ask questions.
Just ask them: "Tell me more about __,"
and then you'll do more of the talking and you'll do more of the listening.
I think if you just come prepared about what you want to say about yourself,
you'll feel confident in that area.
And then for the rest of the time, put your energy and focus
into being interested and curious about other people,
then you're going to feel a lot more confident in a social situation,
rather than being all self conscious and embarrassed or awkward.
Alright, so those are five ways to build more confidence in 2019.
If you want more ways to build confidence,
check out MuchelleB's video which I'll link down below.
She's such a gem.
I'll see you guys in the next one.
Love you so much.
Bye!