Hey Dan here and in this video I'm answering a question sent in from an
ENFP although my advice is really going to be universal here no matter what your
personality type. Ultimately it boils down to: My life sucks, what should I do?
So here are the highlights of the question: I've been listening to your
YouTube videos on and off and just started up again as I've been having
difficulty in my life I've reached a point where I'm not sure what to do
anymore I'm burned out and have no drive, motivation, dreams, or money to do
anything except stay at my dead-end job that I once again went back to because
the grass wasn't greener on the other side. I'd hoped to start in total the last
two plus years a work from home job but I know nothing about the motivation of
running my own business but I can't stand the cubicle grind in data entry
long term - I don't blame you for that one - My feelings get in the way of dictating
what I should do in almost everything I do in my life. I will point out there's
some typos and some issues, something I might touch on after why that's
important but everything I do in my life and realize that I can't always feel
good about being a business owner because every choice of being an
employee or a business owner has its pros and cons. I don't have any direction
in my life, I'm all over the map, I can't choose a destination and if I do, I
either get bored after a while or I can't see things through to completion.
Being 37 years old and making less than $14 an hour with a two-hour commute to
work every day is not my idea of fun. it's absolute hell. Any advice and what I
should do? - So it doesn't sound like you're in a great spot. And I gotta give
you the hard truth is from what you've told me and where you're at I mean if
you're 37 and for the United States earning less than $14 an hour with a
two-hour commute doing work you hate, you screwed up somewhere. I mean that's the
honest truth of it, right? If you told me you were doing work you loved and you
weren't earning any money that's a different story but doing work you hate
for a very low American wage I say so because people watching from all over
world some places that's a very good income but based on the cost of living
in the US, that's not a good livelihood. You screwed up somewhere and I bring
that up because you might want to start at the fundamentals, you know. You talked
about starting an at-home business and that's something that I cringe at
because you know it sounds like you're probably looking for an easy solution
you know and you're in a point in your life where I think you're the potential
prey a victim of phony gurus and self-help people who are gonna say: "Hey
buy my magic potion, take your last five hundred dollars you have left on your
credit card and buy my course and I'll change your life!" Because you're in a bad
spot and I gotta tell you I don't think there's going to be a quick you know
get-out-of-jail-free card for you necessarily. What I would do if I was you
is I would take some time, I would focus on reading, videos as well but things
that you can go in depth and reflect. I'm guessing that there is a pattern
somewhere there is a trend in your life where you're doing something you
mentioned in terms of your emotions you have some self-awareness on that already.
There's something that keeps coming up that keeps putting you in these
situations and until that's resolved you're going to struggle whether it is
getting a better job or starting your own business or making a big change
because there's something in the foundation that isn't right. That doesn't
mean you aren't right and that doesn't mean you're stuck this way at all, it
just means there's something you need to figure out, you know...For me one of those
things was ADHD where I always knew I had ADHD, everyone in my family does, but
I'm like yeah I was smart enough to get through school it wasn't really a big
issue and I just kind of toughed it out but at a certain point in my life
especially working for myself, working from home I'm like: Wait, I might actually
want to look into this and I started reading up on it, reading up on doing
things like exercise and diet at all kinds of ways to address it and that had
a big impact on everything else in my life. That was something that I realized
afterwards was ultimately holding me back in the like little ways but so many
little ways everyday and so that's something I would encourage you to look
at. Not ADD specifically although that may be something but look at what could
be an underlying issue. It could actually be a serious psychological issue you may
have something I can't tell from your message, I'm not gonna try to
diagnose you but you could have any number of underlying disorders that if
you look into treatment might resolve all the other problems or you may just
have some kind of patterns you do with people a mindset you picked up when you
were younger, something that is ultimately holding you back here that's
what I would start with in terms of making a change until you've done that
nothing else will really make a huge difference. Now with that said something
else I would start doing and you can do at the same time simultaneously is look
to improve an area of your life don't necessarily think to make your big
change right now and I know I'm sure you're impatient you don't want to be at
this dead-end job but is there another area you can start improving there's a
personal development saying - How you do anything is how you do everything and
that tends to be true for people, you know, if you have asked one area of your
life might have asked the other areas of your life similarly if you start to
develop really positive habit it can end up improving many areas of your life.
Jordan Peterson talks about this in a bit of a different way with like making
your bed and I don't make my bed in the morning to me it seems useless because
I'm just going back into it at night but his logic behind the make your bed is
you're starting the day I guess being disciplined and being you know doing
something good, you're building good habits and that kind of thing. I think
the same could apply to anything you know start to learn like something you
know, read a book start learning a language on Duolingo on your phone and
do that for 30 minutes a day. You'll build discipline, you'll improve your
thinking, you'll start to feel pride in yourself again like I'm guessing based
on your situation you don't feel the best about yourself right now and that
makes it hard to make change again so picking up some kind of hobby, a martial
art, just exercise, running, doing something, learning about whatever, doing
something that you can make progress and feel proud abou - anything but a video
game. I love my video games but you know getting to level 50 with your World of
Warcraft character may not have enough of an external impact on your
but something you can do involving like language, people, learning, maybe even
start volunteering which sounds crazy because you're probably thinking:
Volunteer somewhere? I need help right now, why would I help other people but
you might find by making a change like that that it will adjust your wiring
inside by taking time to give to other people it will change how you're
thinking and that could also help you make progress so those would be the two
things I would look at and I would say this pretty much to anyone. If you've
watched this far in the video and you feel like you know your life sucks or
you're in a tough spot or maybe there's someone else in your life that isn't a
tough spot and you're watching this video for them is look at underlying
issues. I can almost guarantee if it's been a pattern throughout your life
there's something there that is causing it and until you address that the rest
won't make as big of a difference and the second thing is do something you can
take pride in and that will start to make you feel good to start to at least
adjust how you're feeling on a day to day basis. I would say exercise, learning
or volunteering something in one of those three areas would be where I would
look at. Hope you've enjoyed this video, I hope you find this helpful, do write me
back and let me know if you put this into action and what the results are. If
you're new to the channel, do hit that subscribe button. I publish new videos
every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and I would love to hear you join us my
mission I didn't mention it at the start of the video, I don't think today. My
mission at Dreams Around The World is to help you become the best version of
yourself all while making the most awesome life possible for you and those
you love. Hit that subscribe button! Catch you in the next video soon. Ciao!