• From a sibling’s condition to a different country, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact some
of the best true stories from our subreddit about the most awkward bad jokes we’ve ever
told.
I’m Pringle and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by AsrielDreemurr129 Andiemations
One time when Andiemations was 9 years old, her and her family were having a pun war,
and she was searching for jokes to tell.
Andie found one that seemed cool and chose to tell it.
She said to her family, "How do you embarrass a paleontologist?
You give him a used tampon and ask what period it came from!"
Now, at the time she knew a lot of "adult stuff" but didn't know what tampons were for.
Her grandparents lived with her at the time, so everybody just stared at her like she was
crazy.
At that moment, she realized that she had fucked up.
Number 9 was submitted by VioletWyvern MKyleM In high school, MKyleM had a science teacher
who got teased by some girls about how shiny his bald head was.
As a science teacher he used that position to explain scientifically that when humans
get too smart, their hair begins to fall off.
Then MKyleM cut in the conversation and said, “Oh, so that's why women never go bald.”
The expressions on the girls’ faces were priceless.
They tried to get him back at P.E., but it ended up as a fist fight.
Number 8 was submitted by Rocky_ScoutGaming Danger Dolan
One day Dolan was walking down the corridor of his school when he saw a bunch of the senior
'cool' kids loitering in the hall.
Being the eavesdropper he was, Dolan decided to lean against a wall and pretend to read
a book.
The seniors were just joking around and telling Yo Mama jokes.
One of the senior kids, Cid, told a joke that he was familiar with.
"What do Chinese billionaires always say?" asked Cid.
Dolan jumped into the little group and shouted the punchline, "Cha Ching!"
The next thing he noticed was the group of seniors staring at him, along with every single
Asian kid that heard the punch-line.
He was tattled on by one of the kids who heard the joke and got sent to the conveniently
Asian principal who called his parents to pick him up for "inappropriate behavior."
Number 7 was submitted by AlisarAsh Nixxiom One time Nixxiom was walking down the hall
at school with his two friends – Tolop and Grgak – and the subject of sociopaths came
up.
Tolop asked, “Can you tell if someone was a sociopath?”
Grgak replied with the logic of, “Everyone is partially a sociopath.”
Nixxiom, being the dumb dumb he was, replied with over excessive laughter and the comment,
"I didn't choose the socio-path', it chose me."
Everyone within a five-person radius stopped talking for a minute to soak in how absolutely
stupid he was.
Number 6 was submitted by Masked_WolfDragoness Melissa
After her humanities class one day, Melissa asked her professor, Dr. Wolf, “Do you have
wool clothing?”
He went into detail about how he had a wool sweater he once loaned out to someone, and
how that someone returned it.
After he had informed her it wasn't very common to find wool clothing in the region where
they live, which is in the southern part of the United States, Melissa said to him, "If
you wore wool, you'd be a Wolf in sheep's clothing."
She was so embarrassed that she told him her dad put her up to it, which he actually did.
She apologized for her insolence and went home.
Number 5 was submitted by MJSchooley Emojie Emojie was watching TV with his parents when
a commercial for one of those things that files dead skin off your feet came on.
During it Emojie, for some reason, decided it'd be a good idea to say, "Now that's what
I call a pedi-file!"
Fortunately, his parents didn't get mad; however, he assured them he'd never make a joke like
that again.
He’s still wondering why he even said that in the first place.
Number 4 was submitted by KillDozer688 Dolan’s Brother
Not too long ago, Dolan’s brother’s mother was holding a little get-together with some
of her friends.
As he was passing through the living room from the kitchen to get himself a drink, he
overheard some of the guests talking about upper-class and lower-class, and one of them
asked something along the lines of, "Is there such a thing as a lower-class in America?"
At this point, Dolan’s brother just blurted out, "Sure there is, they're called Canadians".
There was a complete hysterical uproar as the entire room burst out laughing.
It was only after this that his mother took him aside and quietly told him that one of
her guests was actually Canadian.
Luckily for him, she'd left a few minutes prior.
He still feels bad about it though, since he has a few Canadian friends.
A lot of his mother's friends still found the "joke" hilarious to this day.
Number 3 was submitted by MayMaeMei Legna Legna was in a car with his friends, on their
way back from a theme park.
The drive back home was long so they began to talk amongst themselves.
He knew everyone in the car and got along well with everyone.
Well ... there was one guy, Spinalpalm, that Legna didn't know too well.
Spinalpalm was a friend of his friend's sister.
He tried to make friends with him by talking to him, so Legna started talking about what
they had seen at the theme park.
He brought up the time they saw a little girl run into her favorite character at the theme
park and give them a big hug.
That was a really cute thing they had seen, so Legna blurted out, "That was so cute, I
got diabetes".
Spinalpalm’s face went blank.
"My sister has diabetes," he angrily replied.
The whole car was silent for the rest of the way home.
Number 2 was submitted by CynicalComic GhostToast GhostToast was in an honors English class
that only had 10 people in it.
Earlier in the year, he mentioned eating people as a good source of nutrition if it's needed
for survival.
So he was already jokingly labeled as a cannibal.
One day, they were having a discussion about a book and a character who was in danger,
and someone said, "They would have killed him, and beat him up!"… not realizing the
order in which they said it in.
So in mockery, another student said, "Yeah!
Cuz we just like to beat up dead bodies!”
Without thinking, GhostToast said, "Of course!
You gotta tenderize the meat!"
The room went silent, aside from his laughter.
Number 1 – What was the most awkward bad joke that I
ever told?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What's the weirdest thing you do while you're nervous?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.