[APPLAUSE]
Please welcome my friend, Maya Rudolph.
[MUSIC - QUAD CITY DJ'S, "C'MON 'N RIDE IT (THE TRAIN)]
(SINGING) Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
(SINGING) It's the choo-choo.
(SINGING) Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
(SINGING) It's the choo-choo.
(SINGING) Come on, ride the train.
(SINGING) It's the choo-choo.
(SINGING) Hey, ride it.
Come on, ride the train.
(SINGING) It's the choo-choo.
(SINGING) Hey, ride it.
[CHEERING]
That's the way I like to start the day.
I kinda just want to be, let's just start that up again, guys,
and watch that intro again.
That's the most delicious thing.
Yep.
That's my new patented intro.
That's what I do now.
Oh, my god.
I wish it was true.
That was made for you.
And my heart's like-- (SOUND EFFECTS)
Combustion.
I'm so glad you're here.
You are killing it.
[CHEERING]
Also, you-- if there were like, an actual bottled ray
of sunshine, it might be you.
Well, funny you should say that.
You should get on that.
Did you know-- when you knew you were coming on
to talk about your wonderful movie
that we'll talk about later, that
made me slightly almost pass out 'cause I laughed so hard.
You actually-- that happens to you in real life.
It does.
She sees stars, and when she laughs too hard,
she almost passes out.
It's a condition.
It is.
I saw a doctor and said, what's the matter with me?
And they said, with certain people if they laugh so hard,
their esophagus does this.
This is a perfect business for you.
And you stop your air, so sometimes when I'm really
laughing hard, I'm like--
[LAUGHTER]
And I feel like [INAUDIBLE],, which doesn't
help to have people like this.
But were you hesitant to come on when I was hosting?
No.
No?
I immediately dropped everything scheduled,
and everything planned, and ran here.
Aw.
Because it's nice to have you, because it's calming.
It's nerve wracking to do this.
Well, you shouldn't be nervous.
But I completely understand.
I thought about that.
And I was like, what should I do for my friend
if she's nervous at all?
And I thought, I can sing you songs I sing to my kids
when they're nervous.
Yes.
Do you want that?
I want that desperately.
You want me to hold you?
Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
(SINGING) I've been drinkin', I've been drinkin'.
[LAUGHTER]
(SINGING) I get filthy when that liquor get into me.
I've been thinkin', I've been thinkin'--
Do you always--
(SINGING) Can't keep your eyes off my fatty.
Daddy, I want you, na na.
I thought you felt you felt something for a minute,
I was going to--
[LAUGHTER]
Do you really sing to your kids?
You know what they like?
They like that song, Beautiful Boy.
That one really kills me.
We used to sing to both girls.
We'd go room to room, and it was like--
two or three, four songs.
It was like a full set.
And then we go into Vivi's room and sing there.
And now Georgie- who's nine--
just goes, that's OK.
And she's like, Alexa, play George Winston.
[LAUGHTER]
And she goes into her [INAUDIBLE]..
And then she vampires and goes back.
She listens to George Winston all night,
as most 9-year-olds do.
Stop it.
She really knows what she wants.
And she plays this crazy thing.
But I miss the singing.
Yeah, everybody's got different needs now.
I now put my pajamas on before we read, because I
know I'm going to go--
and then we, (SNORE).
I fall asleep so fast.
I know.
I call it, hot water bottling.
Because the kids feel like a hot water bottle?
Because if they get warm next to you, I'm like, listen.
We've got some--
It's so delicious.
Ben just times it, and I go right out wherever I am.
They never and
no one in my house ever sees me like she's been gone for weeks.