dr fauci i don't know how many more
times you can say to people listen it
will save your life i have this problem
with some members of my own family which
i'm now going to ban for thanksgiving
vacation that's how strongly i'm taking
what you're saying wow i'm sure they're
really broken up about it
[Music]
[Applause]
the tail i don't understand it i'm so
glad you're tuning in tonight
i am aware however that some of you
aren't watching
but it's not by choice yep according to
kamala harris
if you don't live in the city where the
politicians live
you're living in 500 bc it's because you
live in rural areas
where there's probably no tv no cable
there's probably not even a faucet for
running water
if you're in the south right now chances
are you have no idea what i'm talking
about
because the language of english hasn't
reached you yet
yep you don't even have xerox machines
if you want to make a copy of something
well you're going to have to break out
the silly putty
right cam i don't think that
we should underestimate
what that could mean
because in some people's mind that means
well you're going to have to
um xerox or
photocopy your idea to send it in to
prove you are who you are
well there are a whole lot of people
especially people who live in rural
communities who don't there's no
kinko's there's no office max near them
boy howdy what a dumb lady hell don't
you
know that we keep our xeroxes down by
the creek
under the bridge by the shopping cart
yeah rural communities are like the
barren wastelands of jupiter
no wonder it took so long for her to
reach the mexican border
it's 92 days by covered wagon
it's true if you listen to this
administration when they talk about
voter idea
id this is a country of redneck rubes
and black dollars
we're all so incapable without
government and rather than help us they
just call us stupid
fact is if you don't live in the city
the white house thinks you're some
three-fingered yokel
who can only write your name after
drinking 12 miller lights
and then aiming at the snow
[Laughter]
if you're a guy but even if it's a
little bit true that people can't get
government ids isn't that
the government's fault and they act like
elections are these big surprises
you know you actually do have months to
make a copy of an id
in between digging out houses and
killing bears
but god help you if you're not near an
office max huh how on earth do you
survive
without a 10 ream case of x9 copy paper
or a 24 ounce tub of peanut butter
filled pretzel nuggets
that's for the break room as for kinkos
dear lady have you
gone outside since 2008 the last time i
saw kinko's was between a pontiac
dealership and blockbuster video
by the way kinko's sounds like the name
of a clown you hire for hunter biden's
birthday
[Laughter]
over here kinkos
fedex took him took over kinko's years
ago mainly because the people who worked
there
made the people who work at the dmv look
happy to see you
fedex bought kinkos 16 years ago for 2.4
billion then spent another 900 million
to drop the name from its storefronts
because everybody hated it
so they're gone now has anyone broken
the news to kamala about this
my god what if she hears about crystal
pepsi
talk about being behind the times does
kamala realize you can take a picture of
your id with your phone and you can send
it to someone who can print it for you
true smartphones have these things
called cameras
if you don't believe me kamala go back
and look at some footage of the riots
you helped create last summer
you'll see many people in the mobs
holding this weird phone slash camera
device
but maybe she thinks we'll never figure
out that voter id requirements
doesn't make it harder to vote it makes
it harder to cheat
but this is their way of moving away
from the blacks aren't capable of having
an id to
but also poor whites too now they insult
any place where the phrase whole foods
still means donut
that's a great joke but if you can't get
an id
in rural areas how do you drive your
ford f-150 to the militia meetings
but maybe if she did less work she'd
know this because as you know
she can't say no here's the um
the short list of what you're overseeing
and i've left things out okay
immigration uh increasing broadband
access black maternal mortality
racial inequality women in the workforce
infrastructure we just talked about
voting rights
that seems like a lot for one person oh
don't forget i'm in charge of the space
council
yeah no this is the short partial list
can one person do all that realistically
well
you know i've always multitasked and um
and certainly there's a lot to to get
done
um yeah maybe i don't say no enough
i should have said no to this interview
[Laughter]
she's the most non-serious political
candidate since mayor mccheese
i mean she's laughing all the time she
must be high but what a question from
soul dad
all those responsibilities can one
person do all that realistically
well i don't know why don't you ask dick
cheney he did lots more than harris and
still found time to shoot someone in the
face
[Laughter]
okay they apologize but would anyone
have asked that question of a white male
they'd have a better chance of being
hired for on-air talent at espn
that seems like a lot for one person
o'brien says but it's more like that
seems like a lot for
one female of color perhaps the workload
is racist
what does the angry white male think
you know vice president harris makes a
pretty good point i mean
i couldn't get by without my printer fax
copier but not everyone has one of these
babies
i guess i do have a lot of privilege but
it doesn't seem fair that some people
can't get an id
and i can just print them up whenever i
want okay which one makes me look
thinner
be honest
something not right about him
but i wonder what does the angry black
male think
i know you ain't looking at me about to
ask me some dumb ass question about
it's too hard for black people to get
voter id cards and
drivers listen
not gonna go there i'm not gonna do what
you think i'm gonna do
but in this country you need to have an
id card
driver's license credit card some form
of identification so you can
rent cars rent apartments own homes get
jobs etc it's very simple
you got to stand in line dmv it sucks
but you know what
people before us they stood in worse
lines to get things done to the right to
vote
so this is ridiculous it's dumb
i'm
[Laughter]
excuse me
so harris is having a rough time and
even her party won't throw her a life
preserver
took me a while to figure it out but
she's basically me
when i have had a job that i hate i just
do what she does
the worst job possible so they get rid
of me
did you notice how they never asked me
to host fox and friends
all it took was me doing it once
i never have to get up early again so my
prediction
at this rate not only is joe a
one-termer so is she
the backup quarterback it turns out has
no game
maybe she can get a job at kinko's i'm
sorry fedex
[Applause]
welcome tonight's guest she's our
favorite recently married hillsdale brad
blond michigan native washington
examiner commentary writer kaylee vicky
white
[Applause]
he keeps audiences guessing as to why
they bought tickets
writer comedian joe devito
you miss a 100 of the shots you don't
take that's why she's drunk right now
fox news contributor cat tim
and trains actually stop at tyrus
crossings
my massive sidekick and host enough said
on fox nation tyrus
uh tyrus i appreciated your angry white
male segment i didn't know what you were
saying
uh what in the blue hell are you talking
about angry white male okay
you wish so much but no
yeah um it's what are we doing
i don't know like we're i don't know
i think we've proved yes by our vp that
racism
is pretty much dead because now you
it's about classism which it has always
been about
right but it's always been convenient to
blame it on the white folks for saying
things about those of us who don't have
everything that we need in our
neighborhoods
etc it's the man well now the man is a
woman
of color who's saying your kryptonite
is xerox machines and lines at the dmv
now you made a great point because if
that would have been
president biden saying that it would
have been a lot of people going how dare
he
but it's the same thing we all need to
realize it has nothing to do with the
color of your skin it has to do with how
much money in your pocket
and how much you can be controlled and
influenced
quick story i got a new phone like three
months ago and whoever had it before me
was brother who was being
text a lot about voting registering the
vote it was a big thing in louisiana we
got to get together we got it
you know and i was like i bid along is
that awesome great um registered
republican where do i
never heard from them again it's a true
story they want nothing to do with it
they they don't want
people with license to register and make
decisions on who they vote they want
cattle to go on a bus to go somewhere
and they tell them where to vote and how
to vote
you ask stacey abrams say hey how many
republicans did you get registered to
vote in georgia
goose egg yeah so that's the new racism
it's classism
what are you going to say ladies honest
i think that for some people xerox
machines might be your kryptonite right
like
people are i think a lot of you guys out
there are lying be like oh xerox machine
no problem i wouldn't know how to
operate a xerox machine anymore it was
the only obviously
it was the only office machine when i
worked in offices that
required a round-the-clock mechanic like
a person
who person who was sent from xerox who
would show up with the big black bag
sit down and open it up and you have to
like you'd always have to walk over
there being an assistant
walk over there and there he'd be parked
in front of the xerox machine
and you'd have to go over him and put
your stuff there and then like you'd
look
down on him and it was quite sad we have
a scanner but when i need to use it i
just go cam
and then that's it that's her husband so
anyway well that was helpful
[Laughter]
we're getting nowhere kaylee drag us
back to the brink
of certitude with some scintillating
commentary
on voter id laws well man i gotta say i
kind of agree with kamal on this one
listen i went to nebraska once okay and
believe it or not
they actually have cars out there they
they all
actually drive their own cars to their
own places and the first time i saw an
expressway i was like
oh my god where's the oregon trail yeah
it's like wow this is
you know they've been living what in the
the same 21st century that we've all
been living in
and so i mean i think it just goes to
show that this is how little
kamala harris thinks about rural america
i mean does she think that they're
too poor to own their own cars does she
think that they don't know how to make a
photocopy or take a picture of their own
id
i mean they're just literally making
stuff up to justify their opposition to
voter id which is
extremely popular among both republican
and democratic voters and there's a
reason that it is
it's a common sense requirement you know
joe could it be that just in general
she's just kind of casually indifferent
about everything
like it's not just about this issue it's
about like almost everything that she's
she's always like this i gotta do this
and then and i actually find that kind
of endearing because that reminds me of
me
well she's very consistent i mean she's
never going to get to europe at this
rate
it's it's really it's about the
condescension
and it's funny to see how disconnected
they are from the lives of most of the
people in the united
states that i also think it's amazing
that this idea of
of course you can't get an id look how
stupid you are
look how stupid and lazy you are but if
you leave the house without your vaccine
vaccine proof then they're gonna you
know drag you back into the building
until you have the upc code
and make it as hard as possible yes yeah
so
and this idea of just run down to
officemax oh why don't i go to
uh circuit city yes and buy a new
printer it's
it's so stupid and and i really think it
shows that they
it's so important them to be smarter
than everybody right and then
the way they try to run on this like why
is it these idiots aren't connecting
with us
you know you rural people now when you
make the moonshine do you add the
mountain dew
after or is that part of the process and
then they wonder why
you know working class people of both
races are moving away from them
yeah you even look at something as
condescending as that smithsonian guide
to whiteness
yeah where it essentially was a list of
they wanted to present as horrible
things white people do it just was a
list of positive attributes
so what is it you're saying about rural
whites and blacks you're saying that you
don't think people can have their acts
together
unless you come in and tell them what to
do yeah and she's
complex yeah and she has so many things
on her plate that yes
that's not going to happen everything
but a writer because she needs to stop
winging it
yeah interviews are going i got it no
you need to be brave
exactly all right up next hey sean
hannity here hey
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