Hello, everybody.
My name is Markiplier, and welcome back
to another
World's.
Quietest.
Let's play.
Now, you may-uh know my personal history with
"I am Bread"
It is a game that deserves to be flayed alive on the sacrificial altar.
However, I've received word that the development team has made a slightly less stupid way
[inhales]
to control your inanimate bread.
"We've added a fresh new control scheme called gamepad basic
This will make your bread a little easier to control in case you were finding it too...
Crustrating."
So...
I'm going to take this in with a MODICUM
of love.
And we will see...
Oh, we will see!
What we can do.
What the fuck is bagel race?
Oh no.
I remember.
I remember now why I abandoned you.
*inhales*
Let us- this looks just as stupid as it was before. Okay?
This is literally just as bad as it once was.
*sharp inhale*
Oh, the memories are flooding back into me. Oh, the horrors of which my past has haunted me.
Huge- oh no.
[deep inhale through the nose]
There comes a time in everybody's life when they must sacrifice for the greater good.
And this is not that fucking time.
Don't worry little controller
I won't break you unless you deserve to be broken.
Same goes for all of you.
Let's continue on our pa-- *angry sigh*
*Angry, shaky inhale*
So long as we think the most peaceful thoughts in the world, we will be okay.
We can persevere through-- what are you even-- How is that even what I want you to do?
And just... flop your stupid floppy body over this yonder way, and if you fuck up-- Oh, you fucked up.
You fucked up, here comes a stabbing.
I need you to question everything you have ever done in your life
*inhales then exhales*
Yes, throw the bottle in anger.
*Making noises of disagreement*
If you listen closely enough, you can hear the anger neurons firing inside my brain.
I'm a man of considerable patience.
And you, bread. I don't care how many fingernail clippings,
I care don't how many band-aids, how much AIDS you have on you. I will eat you.
I will eat all of you.
Not you guys.
I'm thinking that maybe...
Maybe I haven't activated the new control scheme.
And that if there was-- No, I was on.
I was on "gamepad basic." These are literally no different. There's-
There's nothing different about this, okay?
That is the way that life is. We can beat this.
We can beat this, cause I believe in me who believes in you. And if we believe in each other,
Maybe we'll go shut the fuck up.
What is that?
What is that? What is that? What is that glowing glory over there?
Could it be something that's going to save me?
*Gasp*
I don't know what that did. Oh!
It gave me grip. Grip like the gods.
Grip like the gods that's not gonna help me if it's just gonna be stupid like that.
*gasp*
My edibility is 100%.
Wait.
Did it feel pity on me?
*giggles quietly*
Did it feel pity on me?
And decide to give me what Nintendo gives you when you fail a level too much?
the Golden Tanooki suit
That's what this is isn't it? I see your game
Why is it so hard to crawl over a pair of pants?
They are simple,
elegant creatures, pants, but you can just get the fuck over it, and move your bread ass over there.
This is the life.
*Disappointed sigh*
*Groaning*
There we are.
Now we're--
*Sighs*
I don't care if this is pretty much cheating, at this point.
*Groaning*
My bread seems to have grown some fur, but that's okay.
Because I...
Who am not cheating... Oh, why am I going-?
*Suppressed frustrated laughter*
Why am I going- why am I stuck to the underside of this?
*Sigh of pain*
You guys don't understand
How much I literally hate this game.
There is nothing I feel inside my soul for this fucking game.
*Sharp inhale*
Ah, slow and steady wins the race
Slow and steady gets you punched inside the face.
I am a golden god. If I don't get toasted in the light, then where do I go?
There is a freaking heat iron right there.
Is it on?
I don't think it's on. I'm going to get my bread ass slid in those slots.
*Growls*
I need to get to the top of that dresser and then throw my bread body off of it.
Excuse me breathing like a beast in your ear
It's the only thing I can do to stay sane
Flailing wildly I see. Something I am very accustomed to in the middle of the night.
*Satisfied laugh*
Things are looking up for Markiplier, If you know what I mean
That means I'm going up.
This seems impossible and yet, I have done-
*Clicking of keys*
There we go.
*Gasp*
*Satisfied laughter*
I can do this.
Excuse the most pathetic launch I've ever seen in my life
*Sigh*
If you-
I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw everything that I knew and lo- ah ohh
I saw everything that I knew and loved being destroyed in front of me.
Okay, I just have to get on this god damned toaster
You see
The arduous bullshit I had to go through just to get to this one point. How in the flip-flapping floop-dupin world
Would I've ever gotten there on my own? Just a little bit-
farther
If I just hang like here floating like a flag in the wind,
haunting and flaunting my victory to everyone around me, I will be lovely
even toasting
What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I ask you. I beg you. I call to the heavens. Why? Why are you doing that?
Why are you doing that? Just stop. Just be toa- *Whaaaeee*
Hold yourself before I wreck you
Self you yourself you I wreck you. I will- I will literally kill you. I got one side done
It's okay. It's all right
I got something that you gon' like. Let hold the shard let go of the corner
hey *gasp*
I closed my eyes for one second and you try to betray me we have reached the precipice
*groans*
I hate this game so much
And you get pinned to that iron, and you cook in the fires of hell
I hate you with every fiber of my being
Why have you stopped toasting, friend? toast like the bastards- *ding* yeah your-
I have done it. I am victorious
I am the greatest bread master to ever walk the Earth and anyone who disagrees with me
shall be punished severely and with that being said
now I
Can bury this game in the annals of history not the anals ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of history
the annals with two n's and
Let it be forgotten
And Lie dead in the ocean where it belongs in prison down there with chains
unbreakable
So thank you everybody so much for watching and thank you for joining me on another world's
quietest, let's play
Let me know what you think down in the comments below and as always I will see you
in the next video
buh bye!...