This is 25 year old Steph,
she fell in love with,
70 year old Don.
Stephanie: I loved him
like the second I saw his face.
Everybody should date someone
45 years older than them.
With a 45 year age gap,
The couple had to get used to being judged
because of their relationship.
Stephanie: People always told me
"he’s gas lighting you,"
"he is..."
"grooming you."
"You need to get help and get out."
Even Stephanie’s family
have struggled to get on board
with someone so old
being with their daughter.
Janet: So it was a little shocking,
with Don being the same age as dad…
Now married and with a two year old son,
will the couple ever be free of judgment?
And what about the additional consequences
of dating someone
so much older?
Stephanie: I told him, I said,
"don’t you dare die in your sleep,"
oh I’d be so mad,
oh I’d be so mad
don’t do that to me.
Somebody told me that I was …
I was rushing my life
by getting married so young
and having kids so young.
And they said that I was missing out on
the things that I should be doing in my 20s.
And it’s like what should I be doing?
Like who’s to even say
what that is?
Right?
Partying doesn’t appeal to me
I don’t do drugs. I don’t …
like to get black out drunk so...
What else would I be doing?
If anything
getting married and having Lachlan
is made me feel much more fulfilled
so...
to be honest, I think I made...
the best decision possible that I could have made.
We've been together coming up on five years,
and we’ve been married for a year and a half.
Just five years ago
Stephanie was working at a local pub.
When Don walked in
and changed her life forever.
Stephanie: Oh man...
I loved him, like the second I saw his face.
And it was super weird
because then I was like, "oh my God this guy is like..."
"at least 30 years older than me."
But I don’t know I just decided he’s so handsome
and he was charming
and super flirty.
And …
I don’t know he just made me happy
every time he came in I was just so happy so …
And it wasn’t long
before romance blossomed between the two.
Don: Yeah I think it was a Friday night
we played some pool and
we danced and …
Stephanie: And he spent the night at my house…
But having 45 years separating the two in age
the news that they were dating
came as quite a shock to many.
Especially those closest to Stephanie
who was just 20 years old at the time.
Stephanie: My mom was not a fan
at all,
my dad was not a fan,
my brother...
was absolutely not a fan as well.
So nobody was really on Don’s team.
Your sister took it pretty good.
Don: Oh yeah, my family have been just...
its whatever.
Stephanie: I think for my side of the family
they were a little bit like, "Wow..."
like...
"What are you doing? You know?"
Don: "Stop and rethink this."
Stephanie: Yeah, they thought I was making a mistake or ...
I got myself into a situation.
Janet: The first time
when Stephanie came forward and told,
told me that she was dating ...
a man,
who actually was the same age as her father,
it was ...
a little shocking,
I was not happy at first,
I felt that Stephanie
was ...
loosing out on a chance
to meet somebody that...
she could grow old with.
because she was with somebody,
who was already old.
Stephanie: Go hide honey.
Don: Shh
Stephanie: What?
Don: You're loud too.
Stephanie: Well I have to yell over the top of him
so he can hear me.
Don: he'll hear you, don't worry.
Stephanie: Lachlan?
Janet: Never actually...
told her,
not to date him,
but she knew
from the very beginning that...
I wasn't happy about it.
As a couple and now fully committed
into the relationship,
their respective families
are coming around to the match.
Janet: So it was a little shocking,
with Don being the same age as dad,
Stephanie: Yeah.
Janet: That just seemed a little...
different.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Janet: Right?
So ...
Stephanie: I mean it makes sense but ...
Janet: I mean... to be honest with you, if you...
when you said some...
dating somebody older,
you know, I would have thought,
10 years older, was older,
Janet: It was different once we ...
once I met Don and
and it was more different once I saw
the two of you together and how you interacted,
Stephanie: Mm-hmm.
one friend said I was going through a phase,
he's like "don't worry, she's going through a phase,"
"give it a couple of months she'll be over it."
Janet: And is also one of those situations I think,
that I would say in a way,
Janet: You know it's always, it's always to easy to sit back
and judge.
With, when you don't... when you're not
involved in the situation
or you don't know the situ...Right?
it's easy to say that.
The unfortunate thing is that
I guess we felt,
or I felt,
her time with Don would be limited.
With the couple trying to lead a normal life together,
raising their son,
they've often found it hard,
going out in public together.
Don: I'll have Lachlan out for a walk,
or something and someone says,
Oh, "grandpa's got the little boy out today"
I don't even correct them.
Stephanie: Well I have always been like loud and proud,
and I just don't care.
So yeah I'd grab his, hand and he'll let go,
and I'd be like, "Uh no, you're going to grab my hand."
"You're my boyfriend."
"I really don't care about what people in the street say about it."
People used to be awful,
like so awful,
I just can't even believe it.
Don: Few of this.
Today they're headed to soft play with their son,
Don: I have never been to soft play,
Going to the play place, people will...
may stare,
They may just think grandpa's along for the ride,
for the day.
After five years of this...
We just go and do our thing,
we don't concern about,
you know what's going around us too much.
Stephanie: It looks like it'll have to be you.
Stephanie: Good job.
it's heavy.
Bring it out baby.
If Lachlan's having fun, we're having fun.
And I don't even notice that there's other people around us,
or...
like I used to look for them,
and be like,
"someone's staring, who's staring?"
See how far you can throw it honey.
Throw it really far.
Sometimes I like to call them out on it,
and I'm like
Like did you have a question?
I noticed you've been staring at me for 25 minutes,
And they never do, they never say anything, so ...
I don't know...
Female Speaker: My first impressions were
that it was a grandfather,
with his daughter and grandchild.
If she was in love and happy
and he treated her the way that she should be treated,
that's good.
dating a man much older than her,
Stephanie has found she's been subjected,
to many stereotypes,
that go along with her type of relationship.
Stephanie: The worst stereotype,
Okay so this is a fun one,
everybody seems to say
I am in this for a life insurance check,
and I'm a gold digger,
like we live in a house that my dad gave me,
and I have a job,
like I work full time.
And with Don now in his 70s,
the couple are having to face more,
than just judgment due to his age.
Don: Not all but a lot of my beer drinking buddies,
around my age or...
just passing away,
a couple, or three this year,
they've been,
afraid of going to that place.
Stephanie: No.
Don: It just happens...
Stephanie: There's no point in worrying about it or being scared of it,
because that's just going to ruin everyday.
Don: I'll try and give you some warning...
Stephanie: Please, Don't...
I told him I said, "Don't you dare die in your sleep."
Oh, I'd be so mad,
I'd be so mad,
Don't do that to me.
People always tell me they're like,
I'll pray for you,
like I'm ...
like you're in a really scary situation.
He's gas lighting you,
he's grooming you.
You need to...
You need to talk to somebody
and get help and get out.
Like you're in a really toxic relationship.
And I was like,
Oh wait so here's a guy who,
puts gas in my car,
he brings home flowers,
he puts cute little sticky notes
on my mirror.
He rubs my feet,
or my back every night after work.
What else do you do?
Man that sounds horrible doesn’t it?
despite the many factors going against their relationship,
Don and Stephanie are out to prove,
that love knows no boundaries,
and they're not shy about it.
Stephanie: Cool baby,
how are we going to prove the haters wrong?
Don: I don’t think we have to prove it,
We just ...
show them by living your life,
the best you can and
raise our son the best we can and
and show them that it's going to be a success.
Stephanie: We choose, I guess not to hide the relationship
because why would you hide yours?
would anybody hide their relationship?