I met this hot girl but she totally put me in the friend zone.
Yesssss!
Hi friends, Julian here for DNews.
If you’ve been on the internet, and you probably have, you’ve likely heard the term
the “Friend Zone.”
It’s what happens when a crush is unreciprocated.
And despite what the fedora wearing community would have you believe, it doesn’t just
happen to nice guys.
Girls get friend zoned too, and it exists for people of all sexual orientations.
So what good could possibly come of being in the Friend Zone?
Well the first and most obvious thing I can say is, hey, you have a friend.
Isn’t that neat?
Sure, they may not want to date you and that may feel terrible, but one friend is objectively
better than zero friends.
And it’s way better than being in the “Mortal Enemy Zone” with someone you have feelings
for.
But a recent study from Northwestern University may actually make the friendzone more of an
appealing place to be, or at least to start out.
And here’s why: according to the study people who start out as friends and end up together
are more likely to have a disparity when it comes to attractiveness.
The study examined 67 dating pairs and 100 married couples who had been together anywhere
from 3 months to 53 years, with the mean relationship at 8 years 8 months.
Several people watched videos of the couples and rated their attractiveness.
That’s right, scientists basically played a giant game of “Hot or Not,” and then
compared results.
The ratings were pretty close among the scientists, indicating that there was a general agreement
about how physically attractive all the subjects were.
I could have never been a part of this study, because to me you’re all beautiful.
Especially you (wink).
After rating them, researchers looked at how long the partners had known each other before
they started dating, and found that if they had hardly been acquainted, usually the couples
were similarly attractive; 8s got with 8s, 2s married 2s, et cetera.
But the longer they had known each other, the less likely the couples would be matched
physically.
So it turns out the friend zone isn’t so bad a place to be after all; it means you’re
actually more likely to date above your station, even if you’re an uggo.
Of course being friend zoned isn’t a guarantee that your crush will realize you were their
one true love all along.
Sometimes people will never be attracted to you, no matter how close you are as friends.
That’s life, sorry.
Interestingly, escaping the friend zone also doesn’t mean that despite your mismatched
appearance, you were soulmates.
The couples from this study reported about the same rates of relationship satisfaction,
regardless of whether they had been friends for years of if they jumped into the romance
right away.
So happiness wise it looks like there’s no guaranteed benefit to becoming more than
friends with someone prettier than you.
Sounds like that cliche that looks aren’t important has some scientific foundation.
The key to happiness post friend zone is work.
Not surprising, but I have the details on what the Gottman Institute says is crucial
to a strong marriage here.
So this study brings up an interesting dilemma.
Do you pursue someone more attractive than you, spending time and effort with no guarantee
of a relationship and no guarantee of happiness if you even do end up together?
Or do you skip it and ask out an acquaintance closer to your level?
Let us know in the comments or on facebook or twitter, subscribe for more, and I’ll
see you next time on DNews.