- [Narrator] Hello, I see you've clicked on this video.
Thank you for helping us find success
in drawing your interest.
I've been there, you've been there,
we've all been there.
A big test or a competition is on the line,
and you know you've put everything you had in preparation,
and yet you still don't get the result you want.
You don't feel good.
You feel you've failed.
Psych2Goers, first and foremost, let's define failure.
If you're expecting something super clean and clear,
sorry to say, it's not.
Failure is a subjective thing, as is success.
Every person defines it differently for themselves.
For example, an interesting take on failure
was stated by Thomas Edison, who said,
"I have not failed 10,000 times.
"I've successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work."
The definition is based on your values and expectations,
and you are unique to you.
Sometimes, though, we let outside parties,
like friends or family, define it for us.
Despite our very definitions of failure,
the one common thing that we all share
is the initial feeling of failing really sucks.
So let's look at several ways
on how we could change our perspective on failure,
take the edge off the sting,
and make it work for us.
Number one: failure is your biggest teacher.
Society really pushes emphasis on success
and tends to ignore failure.
Think of all the perfect lives we see
posted everywhere on social media.
However, this does not provide any depth of knowledge,
thus, benefit anyone.
According to a research conducted by Madsen & Desai,
failure can be your biggest teacher in life.
The research found that knowledge gained from failure
lasts longer and is often more impactful
than knowledge gained from success.
This can be illustrated
with the flights of the Space Shuttle Atlantis
and the Challenger.
In 2002, a piece of the Space Shuttle Atlantis
broke off and caused damage,
but the damage didn't hinder the mission.
As a result, there was little follow-up or investigation
following the incident.
A year later,
during the flight of the space shuttle the Challenger,
another piece of the space shuttle broke off
that was somewhat similar to the Atlantis.
But this time, disaster ensued,
resulting in the death of the astronauts
and violent destruction of the shuttle.
This tragic incident prompted a major investigation,
which resulted in 29 recommended changes
to prevent future disasters.
In essence, failure can really be seen
as an alternate term for learning opportunity.
Number two: failure teaches you to be kind to yourself.
Let's imagine.
What if your life is only made
of a constant stream of success?
Everything you do or try just falls into your lap,
and you've known nothing but riches, wealth, and comfort.
You've never had to pull yourself up from an abyss
or struggle to improve.
When we never truly experience the grit of failure,
this encourages taking everything for granted.
You don't think, you just float along.
Failure gives us the push
to reevaluate the important things in our lives.
Who are you, and how do you define yourself?
It's a great chance for you to be kind to yourself
and practice self-compassion.
Instead of judging and self-approving
based on the materialistic or what you've done,
you learn to accept yourself
just for what you already are at your core.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a strong advocate for self-compassion,
published a study.
Based on that study,
students who practiced self-compassion
after failing in an exam
will proceed to study harder for future exams.
Number three: you can know success
only if you've experienced failure.
There is no light without the dark.
We've heard the phrase,
but what does it mean?
Similarly, by experiencing failure,
you will obtain a better perspective on success.
The accumulation of failures over time
gives you an increasingly better sense
of what will probably work and what probably won't work.
And success is built upon this knowledge.
This very perspective
makes basketball superstar Michael Jordan
the athlete that he is today.
He says, "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.
"I've lost almost 300 games.
"26 times I've been trusted
"to take the game-winning shot and missed.
"I've failed over and over again in my life.
"That's why I succeed."
Number four: failure isn't always really failure.
Did you know some of the most groundbreaking inventions
we've had happened when the inventors
were researching something completely different?
Some of these include super glue, microwave ovens,
pacemakers, and even penicillin.
Essentially, they failed at their original goal.
But considering what came out instead,
can you really call that failure?
And number five: failure is a step on the journey,
not the end of it.
When you are faced with failure,
this usually does not mean the end.
Failure is a real and common experience.
However, barring extreme circumstances,
it's not a termination,
it's part of the human condition
and a natural occurrence
that preps you to achieve success in the future.
Ever shop or browse online?
You've probably heard of Jack Ma,
co-founder of Alibaba Group.
The journey to the top
wasn't some fairytale golden path, either.
In a public event,
he told the story of multiple failures in his life,
which included being the sole individual
not to get a job at a fast food joint,
rejection at being a hotel server,
and applying to Harvard 10 times
with a sound rejection each time.
Jack Ma reflected that the experiences of these failures
prepared him for the path to becoming a CEO later on.
Failure is a chance to learn.
And although it doesn't feel very good at the time,
a change in perspective
can help turn it into a climbing hold,
instead of a rock blocking your path.
We understand, though, that sometimes
when you face failures in your life,
you may become debilitated.
These can hit you hard.
Now that you know bouncing back is a very real option,
seek professional assistance if you need it
so that you can continue onwards and upwards.
If you liked this video,
be sure to like and subscribe to Psych2Go for more content.
Thanks for watching.