- This is all brand new to me,
so I just lay there.
He gets on top of me, and he goes,
like a fish out of water,
over and over again.
And then he's like, "I can't get it in."
We fumble around for a minute.
He never got it in
and he passed out.
I don't even know if that counts as a first time.
(laughs)
(light instrumental music)
- I haven't got that far.
- I'm a virgin.
- Virgin.
- I never ...
- Never ...
- Had sex.
- It hasn't happened yet.
- Virgin.
- Never had it.
- It'll probably take place at some point
in the future.
- Oh boy.
(laughs)
- Uh ...
(sighs)
- Um ...
- First time I had sex ...
- I was 12.
- 22.
- 18.
- 19, and the person didn't know what they were doing.
- 16.
- 25.
- 13.
- 18.
- Nine.
- It was around that really hot summer that we had ...
- We were on a log ...
- On the beach ...
- On a cliff ...
- Originally it was supposed to be a picnic.
- It was at a frat party.
- I was a goodie two shoes.
- I was like really scared.
- I was always scared.
- I was like, "God damn, is this ever gonna happen?"
- Before this I had thrown up 'cause I was fucking nervous.
- I didn't know what to do exactly.
- And he came over after work ...
- We went to his house under the premise
of fixing his computer.
- We did not go downstairs to look for a movie,
I think she just wanted to have sex.
- So I took her around the corner ...
- We slipped off to another room,
and it happened.
- Describe it?
- Seinfeld was on in the background. (laughs)
- I wasn't exactly sure what was happening.
- God it was bad.
- I had to be really quiet because
his room-mates were upstairs.
- This is so awkward.
- We were both virgins so
we both sort of knew in general what to do,
but then it came to a point the girl started hurting,
I sort of stopped and it just got really awkward from there.
- I also didn't really know what I was doing,
but it was nice.
- It was with my first boyfriend.
- It was very kind and loving.
- I was scared but I really was ready to do that.
- Heavy petting, to making out, to clothes are on the floor.
- I had been drinking ...
- Under the influence ...
- Oh, I was drunk ...
- I was very drunk ...
- Sloppy ...
- Piss-ass drunk. I met some guy.
Went home, not only with him, but his best friend
and his best friend's girlfriend.
And we had sex on a fold-out couch.
- With like a hundred candles on.
And so we're like lost my virginity,
and then had to figure out how to
shut the fire alarm off.
- I got caught by my mom.
- She just like knocked the door,
and then she opened it.
She was like, "Be safe." Or something.
- And I remember his mom yelling
"What's all that noise?"
And she was like, "Y'all fucking?"
(laughs)
I'll never forget that 'cause we were.
(laughs)
- Oh no, no it's not.
For some reason it was just like,
"Oh, am I in here? No. No."
- Nah, it took me at least a good three minutes
to put the D in the P.
- It literally put it in and was like,
"Oh shit, you are a virgin."
And then took it out.
- Yeah, it was a little uncomfortable.
- I don't even remember that night too well.
- I think Bob Marley was playing.
I was in love.
We just had missionary sex.
It was painful, I bled.
But, I also had an orgasm,
which I've heard is like unheard of.
(laughs)
- Uh, yes.
That's what was quick about it.
- Uh, probably not.
- I got out of the bed and my legs gave out,
and I fell on the floor.
And I could hear my room-mate in her bedroom clapping.
- Like 44 seconds.
- 10 seconds.
- Oh, it was not long.
- Probably under a minute.
- So it was like a two minute thing.
- After it was all finished she was like,
"Hey, I gotta go."
I was like, "Yeah, no, see you later."
- Nope.
- It felt good.
- I would ... Yeah, I enjoyed it.
- It was okay.
- It did not hurt.
- Well, it wasn't very comfortable.
- It hurt.
And I stopped it.
And that was after like two minutes in,
I was like, "You know, this probably isn't for me."
And I went home.
- It wasn't painful, it wasn't really pleasurable at first.
It was just, "What the hell is this?"
- It wasn't a very good experience.
The next thing I know, this guy's climbing on top of me
and doing things I don't want.
- There's this person on top of me,
making all these different faces.
And all I could think was,
"Dang."
- I pretty much didn't think about it
for a long time.
And then thought about it a lot
to kind of work my way out of that.
- It was terrible.
- It just really wasn't all that.
- Afterwards I was like, "Okay,
I'm not ready for this."
- It felt like boring to me.
- Not like the movies.
- I was doing it more to just keep the guy,
and make the guy happy.
- I'm glad that I had sex with
the one I ended up marrying.
- I did, I enjoyed it very much.
I remember the memory in my head
while it was happening.
Like, "Holy shit, this is the first time I'm having sex.
This is great."
- Oh.
Well.
(laughs)
I ... I ...