- Here we go, baby, time for the draft.
Boo this man!
Boo!
The Browns took Baker Mayfield?!
Let's see who the Giants are gonna take.
Dang, they took Saquan.
That's actually a good pick.
Brown's took a cornerback?!
What are the Browns doing?!
Who did the Redskins take?
Da'Ron Payne.
He's not bad.
Derwin could fall!
Dang, Tampa took Vita Vea!
How is Derwin James still on the board?
Harold Landry is still on the board too!
Calvin Ridley's still on the board?!
Who's in the war room?
Chargers took Derwin!
Kris Richard.
Man, I hate the chargers!
Why didn't we move up?!
All these draft picks, we coulda moved up.
Leighton Vander Esch?
(classical music)
Who?
(classical music)
Ridley was still on the board.
Harold Landry was still on the board
and we draft a guy named Leighton.
Jason Witten is Retiring?!
Wait, what, Jason?
Witten's gone.
Jason!
I can't believe he's gone.
Jason.
I will be happy to see him on Monday Night Football.
He blindsided the Cowboys?!
If you wanna be an announcer you gotta play for the Cowboys.
He didn't blindside the Cowboys.
How are we losing players in the draft?!
Remember that play, his helmet got hit off?
He kept runnin'.
I'm sad he never got a ring.
First Dez now Jason!
He was a shell of himself but.
And Romo's gone.
I love you, Jason.
(sniffling)
I'll be okay, I'll be okay.
No, it's fine, we're good, we're good.
(classical music)
Ya know, I actually like our first round pick.
He could be the next Brian Urlacher.
Will Hernandez still on the board, baby.
Hopefully he can drop to us.
Can we get a defensive tackle please?!
The Giants picked Will Hernandez?
I didn't want him anyway.
Christian Kirk is gone.
We still need a receiver.
Dang, the Broncos took Courtland Sutton!
Vince Young can't read?
Eagles moved up in front of us.
They're gonna take the tight end.
Who is this lady on stage?
Get this woman off the stage, high pitched voice.
Sit down, you're not Drew Pearson, you're a kicker.
You didn't even win a Super Bowl with the Eagles.
The Cowboys weren't even born.
Shut the heck up!
Eagles win one Super Bowl.
They win one Super Bowl and then they don't know how to act.
Everyone's tryin' to troll the Cowboys
but no one can succeed.
We didn't even want a tight end.
Who's in the war room right now?
Kris Richard again.
O-line coach is in the building.
Oh, we're takin' Conner Williams.
Conner Williams!
Okay!
I like that!
Zeke's runnin' for 2,000, minimum.
He can play any position, that's a great pick.
Great wall of Dallas.
Okay, third round, here we go.
Chris Canty is a traitor.
Michael Gallup, okay, where did, where's he from?
Where'd he go to school?
Is he good?
Okay, okay!
Looks like we're not trading for Earl Thomas.
How have we not traded any of our picks though?
Last day.
Where the money's made.
We still need a safety, D-line help.
Another runnin' back wouldn't hurt, either.
Dorance Armstrong, who is that?
The Buc's parrot didn't even say the name.
That the most disappointing part of the whole draft.
We're not gonna draft a safety?
Dalton Schultz?
Who is Dalton Schultz?
Think they're okay with the safeties we have.
Ah, that's pretty cool, right there.
Shaquem Griffin gets to play with his brother.
What a story, man.
We made a trade?!
Tavon Austin?!
He was a first round pick, right?
For a sixth?!
Let's trade next years third round for Earl Thomas.
Mike White?
Developmental project.
We needed a third quarterback.
Chris Covington. Linebacker.
Depth, never a bad thing.
Cedrick Wilson?
Drafted another receiver?
How many receivers do we have?!
We have about 19 receivers on the roster.
We love drafting Boise State players.
We traded Switzer?!
Who is Jihad Ward?!
I liked Switzer.
He did cost us that one game, though.
You remember that game?
He fumbled.
Last pick, Bo Scarbrough?!
Good luck tackling him after Zeke.
He could be the next Marion Barber.
Makes sense Mr. Irrelevant goes to the Redskins.
See how these picks pan out.
Washington had a good draft, I'm not gonna lie.
Giants had a good draft too, man.
See, I can't wait for the season to start, man.
Can the season start now?
Dang, can the season start now?!
(classical music)
I'm a grown man.