(audience laughing) (dramatic music)
(audience cheering)
- But, I've got me own uniform.
It's wiped clean.
(audience laughing)
Inside and out (laughs).
(audience laughing)
Plums.
(audience laughing) (audience cheering)
- Nurse, patient's complaining of pain in the lower legs.
- Oh, I'm going in for CPR.
Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and said goodbye to the circus!
Join in if you know it.
Off she went with a trumpety trump--
- [Sarah And Audience] Trump, trump, trump!
(machine beeps) - Oh!
- We're losing him!
- Right, give me the, the, the, jump starty thing.
(audience laughing)
(machine whining)
- Clear!
(machine beeps)
(audience laughing)
- No, work with us, Flower.
Have you not seen the telly ever?
When I do the doof, you do the jump at the same time.
Is that all right?
We'll get you in RADA, it'll be champion, love.
Okay, right, Okay.
Clear.
(machine whines)
Clear!
(machine beeping)
(everyone clapping)
(machine whines) (machine beeps)
(audience laughing)
- Excuse me, love, where do you think you're
going with that now?
- This is bloody brilliant, I'm taking it home.
(audience laughing)
Thanks so much for coming on the show,
ladies and gentlemen, Tony, Olivia,
Charlie and Suzanne from Casualty.
(audience cheering) (upbeat dance music)
- I'm Sarah.
- Can you not walk?
- No, I can't.
Now, I walked, I'm not very good at heels, as you can tell.
You can't walk like that in a nightclub.
Can you do a demonstration of like a sexy walk.
- Right, so, you just have to strut with confidence.
So it's head high and try not to fall.
- Try not to fall.
- You just go on, strut.
- Wow, that is really good.
(audience cheering)
- I'm gonna give it a go, are you ready?
- Head high. - Head high.
- And just strut.
(audience laughing) (audience cheering)
- I can't take you seriously.
- I haven't been in a nightclub since the olden days.
- [Holly] Right.
- [Charlotte] Right.
- How am I supposed to behave?
Like what should I do, when I'm in the nightclub?
- Right. Okay. - Just think dance.
- Should we do a demonstration?
You two dance and I'll talk you through it, babe.
- Did you want to know the main dance,
if you want to pull a lad?
- Yes.
- Are you on the pull tonight, Sarah?
- Okay.
(audience laughing)
- Right, here we go, in a club--
- You come with this, you just go along with this.
- You're dancing and you want another and you spot a guy
that you like, and you're like,
well whoa, how am I gonna get him?
So you're like, right, I'm just gonna do the move.
And then you slip drop.
(audience laughing)
- Oh my God, if I go down I'm never coming back up.
- And that's an instant (mumbles) right there.
(audience laughing)
- Go on, Sarah, right, you're in the club--
- You're in the club and you're dancing
and you spot a guy that you like over there.
And you're like, well whoa, how am I gonna get him?
- Have I had a drink?
Have I had a drink?
- Yeah, so you're a little bit tipsy
and you're walking around.
And then you turn your back to him and then, slut drop.
(audience laughing) (everyone laughing)
- Oh you are strong.
- Why'd you do that?
- You're supposed to get back up.
- I mean, I think I need a bit more practise.
But I think that was a pretty good first go,
don't you think?
(audience laughing)
Oh no, oh no.
Oh, shit.
(audience cheering)
Hiya Dad, I didn't know you were coming back.
Have you been watching the whole time?
- Yep.
(audience laughing)
- What do you think?
- I hope you're not coming home like that tonight.
(audience laughing) (audience cheering)
- I don't know what I'm saying,
this isn't me at all, this is quite clearly not me at all.
This is not my experience.
I think I'm gonna show you what it should be like.
This kind of music's not my sort of thing.
Let's play some music.
(record squeaks) (upbeat oldies music)
(audience laughing)
Sounds different for dancing this.
Can we dance to this?
- Yeah.
- I've got some presents for you as well,
let's bring the presents on.
- Oh, right, okay.
(audience laughing)
- Get them all out kids.
- Does this come in short sleeve or a v-neck?
(everyone laughing)
- Lovely nana coldies for the girls.
Let's have a big round of applause for Holly, Charlotte,
Gaz and James from Geordie Shore.
(audience applauding)
- Our enemies gather strength, Samwell.
We are but three.
They are but many.
- 'Tis true.
Who will aid us now in our hour of darkness?
(audience cheering)
- It is the beautiful, if not stockier, than I remember,
Mother of Dragons.
(audience laughing)
- Carry on pet, you'll not make it past series four.
(audience laughing)
- I am Sir Laurus, Knight of the Flowers.
- Oh, hello Flower.
(audience laughing)
- And I am Samwell Tarly, of the Knight's Watch.
- Well, hang on pet, 'cause I'm only up to book two.
And I know who you are.
You're Hagrid.
- Hodor. (audience laughing)
- Anyway, I am Sarah, of the House of Canniston.
(audience laughing)
Bearer of the burnin' and the itchin'.
(audience laughing)
Come to your aid with my mighty, fire-breathing, dragon.
(dragon roaring)
(audience laughing)
Dragon, breathe your fiery breath.
Oh, shit, he's gone out again.
(lighter clicking)
All right, we spent all the money on the wig, all right?
(audience laughing)
- We are doomed, but we will not depart this realm
without a fight.
To arms, to arms.
- We've all got two arms, pet, but what's--
(audience laughing)
What's your point?
- This is my point.
My sword Four Hammer.
- And this, my sword Steel Tongue.
- Oh, well while we're all doing it...
These are my trusty blades, Kitchen Devils.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
We three shall prevail over our foes
with the steel in our hearts.
We shall triumph and ascend to the iron throne.
This is so exciting.
Oh shit! (audience laughing)
Shit. (audience laughing)
I forgot I was holding them.
(audience laughing) Shit.
- Hodor never liked them anyway.
(audience laughing)
- Oh don't start talking, Flower.
(audience laughing)
I liked you better the way you were.
So, are you all in proportion?
(audience laughing) (audience applauding)
- Hodor.
- [Sarah] Hello, it's Sarah Millican here.
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