on average I've already lost 1/3 of the
people that click on my videos by the 1
minute mark and I'm lucky if a quarter
of anybody watching right now actually
makes it all the way to the end of this
video at all this is true for all of my
videos including this one right here and
an extremely important point that I'm
going to come back to as I will explain
over the next few minutes the internet
isn't designed for honesty it isn't
designed to reflect real life you are
watching this right now whether you
realize it or not because you are on a
journey to being a better version of
yourself whatever that means whatever
that looks like to you the process of
figuring out what you're capable of
isn't very straight forward they're
obviously times when you feel like
you're on the ball and making lots of
progress but they're also times when
it's not so obvious not so clear and
that last part is what I want to focus
on I think we're all familiar with the
meaning of the word discouraged it's
about losing confidence or enthusiasm
about doing something this happens when
there's a clash between expectations and
reality the real difficulty of building
a new habit or learning something new
and more than ever we compare ourselves
with what we see online and this is a
very dangerous thing please do not let
my fancy slow-motion shots or dramatic
music choices fool you I usually have no
clue what I'm doing and I go through
these feelings of you know being
discouraged or lacking clarity often I
try to mention this as often as possible
without getting repetitive so that it
doesn't just seem like I'm leading a
perfect life but at the same time nobody
wants to watch somebody just complain
all the time online so finding the right
balance is difficult if you're watching
this because you are feeling discouraged
I unfortunately cannot cure you of being
a human being and all the psychological
nonsense that we put ourselves through I
would however like to share what has
helped me with my own feelings of
discouragement I wanted to talk about
this because I feel like I have kind of
a unique perspective I've been on both
sides of the whole social media world
both as somebody watching the content
that's out there and also somebody who
is now who has created a life around
making that content I made a video about
a year ago called something like why is
it so hard to be honest online where I
explore this idea of the gap that exists
between
reality and what we see online and so
this is definitely something that I've
been thinking about for a while now I
used to think it's just a simple case of
accountability you know just just tell
the truth but it's actually nowhere near
that black and white as I'm coming to
realize even truth itself is something
that is pretty much entirely subjective
the truth for example is that something
like $10 means something entirely
different to me than it does to a child
in Guatemala that may not seem related
but it is because everything is about
perspective so let's rewind to a couple
of years ago where the story begins
before doing what I do now on YouTube
and elsewhere on the Internet I worked
for several years in the film industry I
didn't go to college so this was kind of
my film education I was an editor I did
camera operating I did a whole bunch of
different roles
I guess what pulled me in was sort of a
desire to learn how to tell better
stories and of general fascination for
the audiovisual world and I saw
firsthand how little what you capture on
set corresponds with reality with like
real life for one being on set can
actually make quite boring sometimes you
are dying to pee but you can't go
because you're in the middle of the 14th
take of the same goddamn close-up and
you have to stay silent depending on the
kind of shoot that you're on the
lighting might be entirely artificial
the footage must be colored the audio is
often captured and added entirely
separately the sound design is often
created in recording studios using
completely unrelated items is actually
fascinating to watch I highly recommend
looking it up and all that is actually
part of the magic film at some level
cannot correspond with reality and there
are many reasons for this people have
limited attention spans so you have to
cut out the uninteresting on essential
parts nobody in the right mind would go
to a movie theater to watch a 16 hour
film that's poorly shot unless I guess
you're really into experimental stuff in
fact it's not just that we love movies
because of the fiction because of how
they can bend the rules of linear time
and transport us to other places and so
we play a lot editing brings intrigue
emotion movement it's all about what
you're not showing we're willing to
suspend our belief horror films play
with our imagination documentaries
challenge our views
this is of course a double-edged sword
we love it but it isn't real and since
the beginning of filmmaking since the
invention of languages by human beings
we've been trying to figure out where to
draw the lines what the rules of
storytelling are what is real and what
is fake this isn't just something that
the film industry has to deal with what
I'm basically saying is that this is
human nature and that it touches every
aspect of our lives we apparently live
in the era of fake news but if you ask
me that's all we've ever done as we make
things up to try and understand the
world around us we make things up or
more subtly we bend the rules we change
perception you know in the not so
distant past we've thought we were the
center of the universe and that disease
came from things like bad smells or
being sinful or you know magic so let's
talk about social media and the internet
where everything is magnified by orders
of magnitude we blame major tech
companies for allowing and promoting
things like clickbait you know and they
have a role to play in all this but
fundamentally there's a bigger driving
force and that is human nature whenever
you make something and then put it up
into the world it only makes sense to
make an effort for other people to see
it all the value be it financial or the
exchange of ideas or connecting with
other people comes from grabbing
attention in fact I'll go a step further
nobody is not doing this we all have our
subtle ways of presenting ourselves in
the world no matter how honest someone
says they are online there are a million
decisions that go into the way that they
present the information that they're
sharing and yes that absolutely includes
me I don't know about you but I'm not
gonna click on an article or a video
called
some vague thoughts on what I ate for
lunch last Thursday with a thumbnail
that's a very forgettable photo of fish
or something something like that isn't
even really gonna register my brain as
I'm looking at everything else that's
out on the Internet
there's no value there web sites like
YouTube or medium don't want that kind
of thing because it's not interesting to
people human beings are not stupid
creatures we quickly figure out what
works and what this results in is a
world full of clickbait
and attractive advertising and bold
claims this is present in pretty much
all walks of all of our lives and you
can't force the whole world to change so
bitching about it really isn't the
answer so here comes my solution to this
problem train yourself to always have
contrast it is not just extremely
helpful it is necessary to remember that
we all have a different combination of
socio economic background and life
experience and connections and just
because two people are the same age or
come from the same country doesn't mean
that their realities look anything like
when you directly compare yourself
consciously or unconsciously with other
people out there on the internet you're
setting yourself up for failure you're
creating an expectation that cannot be
met so the inevitable conclusion is that
you will get discouraged it seems simple
or silly to say it but whenever anybody
tells you how to do anything especially
on the Internet
you always have to filter through the
potential impact that circumstances may
have let me explain using myself as an
example last year I posted a couple
videos on meditation I was very clear
that I wanted to pull in as many viewers
as possible because I have seen
firsthand the positive impact that
meditation has had on my own life and I
wanted to share that with the world in a
sense I'm okay with using clickbait for
the greater good in my first video I
claimed in the title that you know
meditation is changing my life so I'm
setting up a pretty big and also
ambiguous expectation if you look at the
combination of the title and the
thumbnail I'm being kind of dramatic but
I really do believe that meditation has
had a significant positive impact on my
own life and if you're clicking on the
video you're probably hoping for the
same there's no guarantee since your
entire life situation and circumstances
and where you come from and what you've
lived through are different from mine
there's a good chance that you may end
up finding meditation to be a waste of
time for yourself you know not something
that you derive any serious benefit from
in which case you may conclude that my
thumbnail and title were misleading in
my second video I made the thumbnail as
attractive as possible but damn I mean
things do not look that perfect when I'm
actually meditating and I think or at
least I hope that most people most of
you guys self-consciously get that for
starters most people don't even have a
living room
looks like that I shot that in a large
shared air B&B while I was in Mexico
because I thought it looked really nice
and I ended up waiting like four or five
months before actually using it
am i deceiving you you tell me I mean if
I successfully pulled you in to watching
that video and starting a journey of
meditating and getting to know yourself
better in my opinion that's a massive
success this goes deeper though starting
out with an hour of meditation a day
like I did is way harder than you might
think
and definitely not advisable for
somebody starting out if you did exactly
what I did you may have ended up feeling
disappointed or discouraged that of
course would be the exact opposite of
the impact that I was trying to have
with that video but at the end of the
day if you train yourself to find
context then you'll save yourself from a
lot of the disappointment I was raised
in a household that was a lot more
receptive to Eastern religion and
practices than most and you know I don't
think I even realized it at the time but
I'm sure this had a huge impact on how
quickly I was able to pick up meditation
as a habit Marcus Aurelius one of the
Stoics wrote something that really helps
me that or has helped me with all of
this he said everything we hear is an
opinion not a fact everything we see is
a perspective not the truth I love that
those applies to every single video that
I make and everything else that's out
there but I'll just make one more
example my videos learning languages I
put some ballsy titles on some of my
videos because of the fact that I
believe in the amazing impact that
learning languages can have everything
of course should be taken with
perspective first of all everybody
learns differently even defining what it
means to say you speak a language is up
for debate I'm not claiming to learn an
entire language in seven days anybody
with a little bit of common sense knows
that's impossible I'm just trying to get
to the point where I can speak to
somebody however in eloquently as
quickly as possible if I have the chance
I would call them I have a really cool
method for learning languages that I'd
like to share and I'm going to try it
out for myself to become somewhat
conversational in a very short period of
time because I'm an unnecessarily
intense person but of course that
doesn't work in a sense I make these
videos to challenge ideas around what it
takes to be able to start communicating
with somebody in another language most
people are afraid to go for it and make
those mistakes and that's partially why
made it but let's say you're a German
that speaks English as a second language
and got inspired by my video to use my
technique to learn something like
Japanese well both our starting point
with the languages you know versus the
languages I know and the end point which
is what we're trying to accomplish here
are completely different so it's insane
to expect to get the same exact results
Japanese has a completely different
alphabet and a different phonetic system
everything and you know some of the
stuff is really silly to say aloud but I
was raised by parents that fully
supported me in learning whatever I
wanted and to compare me to somebody who
didn't have that is just not fair all
this is to say that the only person you
should ever compare yourself to is
yourself and even then we all have off
days every now and again and that's okay
could I share all this to say that
there's a battle taking place for the
sake of transparency I could include an
hour's worth of disclaimers to avoid all
of the potential misinterpretations then
they happen and believe me I've tried
before we even dive into things before I
even start this video I just wanted to
say that you shouldn't feel down on
yourself and I'm gonna try and tread
this topic as carefully as possible
there's nothing really special about me
I'm not a guru I'm not an expert I'm
just documenting the process and sharing
what I learned just take this as a
fellow amateur sharing what he has
discovered so far but like I said I'm
fighting against limited attention spans
and you know a minute into the video
I've lost over 30% of my audience so
decisions I do my best to put everything
out there but I cannot control how my
work is interpreted at the end of the
day what I wish I had more of when I was
younger was perspective on the things
that I was seeing online I'd compare my
18 year old self with successful
entrepreneurs or artists that were twice
my age and that serves absolutely no
purpose
you know I quoted Marcus Aurelius
earlier and I truly believe that
stoicism provides an answer to a lot of
this so I'll end all of this with a book
a man can get discouraged many times but
he is not a failure until he begins to
blame somebody else and stops trying
you
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