I wanted to go up the num liver to the
heart of darkness
in Cambodia I wanted to ride out into a
desert on Camelback sand and dunes in
every direction eat whole roasted lamb
with my fingers I wanted to kick snow
off my boots in a mafia nightclub in
Russia I wanted to play with automatic
weapons in pnom pen recapture the past
in a small Easter village in France step
into a seedy neon-lit
Bulgaria in rural Mexico
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I wanted to run roadblocks in the middle
of the night blowing past angry militia
with a handful of hurled marble packs
experience fear excitement wonder I
wanted kicks
the kind of melodramatic thrills and
chills I've earned for since childhood
kind of adventure I'd found as a little
boy in the pages of my Tintin comic
books
I wanted to see the world and I wanted
the world to be just like the movies
that's what Anthony Bourdain said
just like the movies but you know what
to me the world is not like the movies
the movies aren't real
they don't exist
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but you do
and life this life is it's better than
any movie there is movies are supposed
to provoke emotion they're supposed to
make you feel something but I have a
better idea go out into the world and
actually feel it go feel joy and love
and triumph and rapture and ecstasy and
glory go feel those things
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and you know with those feelings there
will be other feelings as well there
will be sorrow and pain and sadness and
desolation and suffering there'll be all
those feelings too but you know what
that's okay
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that's okay take both sides feel all
that that's what life is those feelings
those emotions those highs and those
lows those are life it's okay because
when you know the darkness the light
becomes even brighter
so go out there move toward the light
and move toward the light
I mean mostly pretty nice people doing
the best they can often under very very
difficult conditions but I think that
want balance
the world is filled with people doing
the best they can you know who love
their kids and you know would like to
and you know put on a clean shirt every
morning and live their lives a little
dignity and have access to food and
water I hope just like everybody else a
word you'll get and they describe you
again as watching wild geese fly and be
hidden in the clouds as watching a ship
vanished behind the distant island as
wandering on and on in a great forest
with no thought of return haven't you
done this haven't you gone on a walk
without particular purpose in mind carry
a stick with you when you Cajun make it
at old stumps water along sometimes we
lose them into that welcome that you are
a perfectly rational human being
purposelessness or music is purposeless
is music getting someone the aim of
music were into the symphony were to get
to the final bar the best conductor
would be the one who got there faster
dancing when you dance do you aim to
arrive at a particular place on the
floor then the idea of dancing the aim
of dancing is to dance is the press
what's exactly the same with our life