Single-sex in the city, what it might look like and what it should look like. I'm Dr. Trish Leigh let me tell you what your
current sexual experiences might be doing for your brain and how you can transform them from hypersexual experiences to balanced healthy sexual
experiences and what that will do for your brain in the end. Ok, so what am I talking about. I talk to a lot of people and this is a common theme is that they're single so
they meet people and if you meet people in an unhealthy way on tinder and ask them to come over and have sex. You're going to get an unhealthy sexual partner. And so I've made
video's on that so you can go check them out, but this is what I mean is that if you are stuck in an addictive and hypersexual sexual mindset which comes from the neurology
neurological functioning of your brain because your brain's operating out in the extremes; too fast and too slow. Which makes it want to go back to the screen to be calmed and stimulated
simultaneously so then you go to the screen everything on the screen becomes highly arousing to you and it takes those two extremes the speeds in the extremes down
and it pops up for a moment that calmness in the middle, which of course has the B effect of making you more stressed out and anxious and feeling worse. So you have to go back
again but what happens in that cause is when your brain is in that pattern like attracts like. So now you go look for a sexual partner and what are you going to
find. Your going to find someone whose brain is out in the extremes like yours and what will happen often time I hear this from so many people is that
you know someone told me last week actually a lot of someones are like no I met this girl and she literally is performing a lot of the acts I see on the screen. Well of course she is because she knows that is what you want and she's trying to give you what you want to be with you. And likely she has a very unhealthy brain
pattern that is going to feed into your unhealthy brain pattern. So the longer you do that the unhealthier you will stay and your sexual being
and your sexual relationships. So if you're someone who wants a healthy relationship with a partner and wants a healthy sexual relationship you can't keep
attracting unhealthy sexual partners to you because you will just continue to get more of the same. So what's the way out the way
out? Number one of course is to leave pornography behind and when you do so what will happen is the fast speed will come down and the slow speed will come down and calm focus will pop up
in the middle and brain training will help that too. When you have more of calm focus and your brain's not swinging between that pendulum anymore and it is calm and focus like attracts like.
So what will happen is you will attract a healthy partner. So I see in the comments on this channel too that a lot of people say you know I will leave porn behind when I get a
partner or even worse people say I don't want a partner I'm happy the way that I am, which is mostly not true for humanity. We are an ampersand being
we want to be connected to other people the and the ampersand is very important it's very very very important for us to be able to be
in a relationship that feels good to us one that's honest one that's healthy one you can be yourself you can be on purpose in your work your relationships with your friends and family with your hobbies
you feel strong and confident and guess what your partner feels strong and confident also so you are standing next to each other as two healthy people coming together not two
unhealthy people out here in the extremes trying to feed off of each other by taking from each other by not giving to each other by controlling each other that's what
unhealthy relationships look like. Giving too much to please, not giving enough to have control. Healthy relationships are I'm healthy I can do this for you I can serve you
your healthy, you're totally cool with serving me, and we can give to each other easily. We can go our separate ways and do our own thing and feel strong and healthy and
come back together not be anxiously attached, not be avoidant. I'm going to make a video on attachments style and how they play into pornography consumption. But when you feel strong and healthy, you get a partner
who's strong and healthy because like attracts like. So number one you need to leave pornography behind. Number two is you need to change your expectations of sex. So right now if
your single and your expectation is when you meet someone that you're just going to have sex with them immediately and you're thinking of them as a sexual object, which likely you are because that's what happens to brain's when they
go back to pornography consistently and frequently. They start seeing people as sexual objects to be consumed and that's not the case people are whole beings
minds, bodies, and spirits. So you have to shift that persextion whoops a little slip of the tongue there so you have to shift your perception so that you see people
as whole beings and you want to connect intimately with a person and get the neurotransmitters flowing in a balanced capacity. Oxytocin that couples you to another person, not the screen.
Serotonin for happiness and joy. Of course, dopamine will still give you pleasure but in lower levels, so it won't be frying out the rewards center in your brain. Now it will actually feel good and it won't have that
B affect of dropping low and spiking cortisol that gives you more anxiety it will just keep you in the zone of feeling strong and healthy. So you have to change your perception of sex you have to make it
so you want to have that connection have some eroticism some intensity and an experience with another person, not a performance that gives you
a massive amount of intensity so it blows your doors off in the short run right short term gain long term loss because your brain keeps needing its doors blown
off and you can't get that with a person you can only get it by going back to the screen and it keeps your in the proverbial downward spiral across the rest of your life. So if are single out there
and your are looking for healthy sexuality and eventually, you want to find a partner or maybe even sooner rather than later, leave the screen behind reboot your perceptions of sex and look at
people as whole people who you want to get to know better. Think of it like it's 1950 1950 out there take them for a happy day. Don't even tell me some of you probably don't even know what happy days
is. Take them for a shake then you can go get a burger and fries. Then the next day you can meet them for coffee. Then another day you'll hold their hand.
Then you'll kiss them and eventually, you'll be able to have a sexual relationship. Build intimacy not just sex out of the gates. ok, so if you're looking for help during this porn brain reboot journey
visit my website at drtrishleigh.com because I am here for you and I would absolutely love to help you be successful especially if you want to find a relationship you can I'm here to tell you
yes you can. So if anybodys going to say I don't want a relationship or they're overrated and I'm happy with the screen. You might feel that way right now, but there's more out there for you. And remember control your brain or it'll control you.