Something about INFPs is that it’s very hard to make them angry. So if you succeed-in making an
INFP angry, then you should know-that you are a very annoying person!
There are two ways INFPs express their anger: 1. Being quiet, ignoring, avoiding
2. Outbursts of densely concentrated rage! Honestly speaking, they don’t get necessarily
‘angry’ per say often. Do they get sad, hurt, or disappointed? Yes, but anger,
not so much. They often overlook mistakes, always seeing the best in people no matter what!
They’re just about the opposite of confrontational, always trying to keep the peace
and not trying to get themselves involved in unnecessary drama. They also fear being
judged for their emotions and thoughts, and are very private about what goes-on inside!
They have a very particular way of feeling and thinking, so you’d be surprised at what upset
them-if they decide to tell you! But most of the time, if you anger them, they’ll either just stay
quiet and move on, or start to avoid you. Sometimes they might take time-to respond to
something you said, because they are organizing their thoughts, analyzing
the situation and their feelings, and thinking about everything-and-how they can approach it,
in the most polite-and respectful way possible! They would prefer not to speak when angry, because
they are not confrontational, and often shy away from it, and they also hate the mere thought of
upsetting someone in any way shape or form! They are also very soft-spoken, sensitive,
and empathetic, so anger is not in their primary nature. Most INFPs will hardly ever raise their
voice, and also dislike being yelled at! People often don’t take them seriously!
Opening up and expressing their feelings to someone, is very difficult for a private INFP,
so they should be accepting, welcoming, and encouraging if they decide to!
So if you ever witness an INFP suddenly go quiet,
get up and leave or ignore you, chances are they are upset!
However, there are those very rare moments. Moments INFPs never want to reach, where someone
either pushed their buttons too many times, or maybe they pushed the wrong button! Often times,
if they see an injustice, or something not aligned with their morals and values, it will enrage them,
and then they won’t keep quiet. You’ll see a side of an INFP you likely have never seen before,
and never expected would even be in that soft-plushy being!
Although when it comes to the INFP personality type, you’re in luck! They hardly ever get angry,
and when they do, they often feel guilty-and remorseful after expressing our anger in any form,
in fear that they may have hurt someone’s feelings. Another plus is that often times, when
it comes to something that upset them personally, if an INFP does share it with you somehow,
it means they are comfortable with you, because it is a side many people don’t get to see!
They also love people to an unreal extent, and see the good in them-even when they’ve been wronged,
so it is quite easy to earn their forgiveness, because they don’t hold grudges against anyone,
even if what was said-or done may hurt them down the line!
When it comes to INFPs, it is important to read the signs
they may intentionally-or unintentionally give off! If they are upset by something,
it would mean the world to them-if you realize on your own what upset them,
acknowledge it, validate their feelings, make them feel important, and offer a sincere apology!
They really mean no harm, and hate the thought of ever hurting anyone, whether it be a stranger,
animal, or someone close to them! To express anger or any such negative emotions,
is the last thing an INFP chooses to do! 10 An INFP will keep on self inclinating
the pain on themselves, rather than venting it out on someone else!
9 They feel helpless when they are unable to express themselves.
They fear they might lose that person-if they get angry, or they don't want to spoil the
cordial relationship they share with anyone! 8 They feel negative feelings are a waste of
energy and time. This in return, results into draining their own energy so badly, that they
have tendency to slip into depression! 7 They try to shut away from people who try
to come in close contact with them. They don't want the negativity to rule their heart or mind,
so they cut off and prefer solitude, so that they can self heal themselves-and come back with
all love-and compassion-they have within them! 6 INFPs are too patient when dealing with people,
emotions and specially anger. So even if they get angry, they are self aware of
what they are expressing. They are aware of the consequences, so their aggression
majority of time comes in a mild way! 5 They can't hold resentments and grudges
for way too long. But if things are at the worst, where they feel there feelings are
being taken advantage of, they won't give second thought about bashing people-and
correcting them in the worst possible manner! 4 So yes, you can see the extreme level of
their temper, but that hardly happens unless things are out of control!
3 They will pull out their anger on something which is not injurious to anyone. Like playing
squash rigorously, punching bag, etc! 2 Tiring oneself by rigorous physical activity,
is one mode of channelizing their anger! 1 At times, you might also see an INFP crying
while expressing their anger, there will be a shiver in their voice tone out of all
emotions mixed up. May be because INFPs are not willing to accept this part of their nature!
INFPs can get greatly distressed about feeling angry!
One way that INFPs may 'express' anger is actually to withdraw from relationship when angry,
rather than advance. This withdrawal provides the introverted INFP needed time,
to 'process' thoughts and emotions, and reflect on what to say before proceeding!
INFPs may have a tendency to brood, to ruminate and create mental scenarios,
not based on objective reasoning, but rather subjective, distorted concerns,
feelings & fears about their strong need for harmony being disrupted.
When angry, INFPs will tend to 'find fault' with both others and themselves,
and have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the slightest perceived disharmony!
INFP’s cutting edge is to be able to get more objectively clear,
about his or her own position-when there is a conflict, and to be able to express anger!
This may be difficult for an INFP, because by nature, INFPs see situations from all
possible viewpoints, such as viewing a giant diamond the size of a living room from all
its different facets. INFPs naturally often understand, and value all points of view,
and may get lost the many different ways to view even their own anger and situations of conflict!
INFPs who have low scores on their Feeling-Thinking scales,
indicating that there is not a strong preference, will face more indecision and difficulty with
coming to conclusion-in how to best-proseed-when angry, to effectively deal with conflict!
Such INFPs may delay deciding how to proceed, feel guilty about this, & avoid addressing conflict,
to their own detriment. This can create estrangement in relationships,
furthering INFP's excessive self-criticism! Sometimes, under pressure or high stress,
INFPs may suddenly erupt in scathing, super-critical, dogmatic pronouncements,
especially pointing out in focused detail specific errors others are making. This is
an example of the inferior function, Extroverted Thinking, being expressed in a distorted way!
In the aftermath of this, an INFP is most likely to become intensively self-critical,
judging themselves harshly, in absolutist terms, and believing they are worthless,
incompetent, and a failure! As an INFP matures, the process
of type development occurs. INFPs while still deeply valuing harmony,
need to also grow into a more realistic idealism, to understand-and accept that conflict is
a normal part of relationships and life! Additionally, INFPs as they mature, ideally
will be able to develop the ability, to identify their own position more clearly, in situations of
conflict, regardless of others reactions. INFPs need to learn how to express their own needs,
as well as they naturally are attuned to the needs, feelings and sensitivities of others!
INFPs who mature, can acknowledge their own competencies and desire to be powerful
and competitive, and more consciously express this in ways that are effective!