( imitating Forest Gump ) Mama always said
life is like a box of gross chocolates.
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good Mythical morning.
We're continuing our three-day celebration
of love, and guess what?
- Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! - Yay.
And if that comes as news to you
and you've just crapped your pants
because you forgot to get your bae a gift,
don't worry. We got you covered.
Just give them a link to today's episode
because we're going to be dancing with our dogs
and eating food with them, too. They'll love it.
Yeah, because nothing says romance
- like a link to a YouTube video. - That's right.
And nothing says Valentine's Day like chocolate,
so we're about to play a game that will test
the very important ability
that you need to have this time of year,
and that is, can you open up a box of chocolates,
or just look at chocolate,
and tell whether it's going to be good
or gross,
just by looking at it.
It's time for...
Here we are in the chocolate zone
where lazy Susans and dramatic lighting rule all.
All right, Cupid, bring in our first two items.
It's like Valentine week, but it's a séance.
Look, it's tattooed Cupid.
Okay.
Now, one of these items in front of us is--
Keeps getting weirder and weirder.
...is a good chocolate.
The other item is a bad chocolate.
In every round,
we're going to each pick
a chocolate from over here--
lot of chocolate--
In order to then gain the power of choice.
Each one of these chocolates has a number on the bottom of them.
The higher number in each round gets the power of choice
and decides which item goes in front of who.
Just gonna start with whatever's closest to me.
I'll take this one,
and my number is four.
My number is 11.
- Oh, you have the power-- - Significantly higher than four.
...of choice, so you get to decide,
do you wanna keep that or lazy Susan it around--
Hey, take your freakin' hands off it.
- ...have the power-- - I didn't put--
I didn't get-- take your hands off of it!
I got-- I picked 11. I get the power of choice.
- Okay, okay. - Control freak.
Well, it's the power of choice, not the power of spin.
Gosh, he can't help himself.
Can I have the power of spin?
No, you can't have any power right now.
I have all the power right now.
Hm, ironically, you still may choose the nasty chocolate.
Yeah, because there's no way to know
which one's good and bad.
But one is blue.
Blue starts with a B.
"Bad" starts with a B.
( chuckles )
Okay.
- But... - Silver...
- Hold on. You-- - ...is valuable.
You don't even have the power to talk. No, you can--
- you can talk. - Silver's valuable.
I think that's purple and gold.
Purple and gold, they're both valuable.
I feel like somebody was really proud of that one.
Purple and gold.
Mm-hm.
Uh, you know what?
Blue is bad, but I'm going with reverse psychology,
and I think that in this case,
blue is good.
I'm going to stick with my choice, blue.
All right, so we're both going to bite--
Get a good cross section there.
These are beautiful, by the way, guys, beautiful.
Woman: Thank you.
Dink it.
- Yep. Oh, gosh. - Mm.
Mine's got some sort of white mint in it.
- Mine's got some charcoal. - ( laughter )
Oh, that's good for-- it'll clean you out.
- It's actually not bad. - ( laughter )
I mean, I can't breathe while I'm doing it.
But if I get poisoned, I'll be okay.
Open your mouth. It looks pretty scary in there now.
Cupid.
Draw back your bow.
Here you go.
Cupid got a perm. ( laughs )
Also got some spoons.
- Whoa, where'd you-- - One for you.
- Hold on, where-- - One for you.
Where'd you-- where'd you pull those from?
Don't worry about it.
- My word. - So don't put that in there.
Just see it next to it.
Okay, now...
Let's see who gets the power of choice.
- Pluck a chocolate. - I'm coming over to your side.
I got a six.
I got a 10.
- ( laughing ) - Dang it!
I got the power of choice,
and, as you know, last time that helped me a lot.
None.
Wow. So one is...
brown chocolate.
You've got a mousse and I've got, like, a sprinkled pudding.
Yeah, I mean, they both look so innocent.
Yeah, but, you know, there's a devious underbelly
to one of these.
Sprinkles versus cherry.
Sprinkles make everybody happy.
Yeah, but, I mean, a cherry and sprinkles are both--
You say "the cherry on top" as usually a good thing.
Well, but-- you're guaranteed to give me something I don't like
if you give me the one with the cherry.
I'm just looking to see if I can see anything,
besides these...
Hm...
Lots of sprinkles.
I think this is bad.
And I think that this is good.
Certainly is shaky when you spin it.
It's got a shakiness. I don't trust the shakiness.
That one's got a solidness.
All right, just go deep, I guess,
or go home.
Okay. I don't wanna touch.
- Oh, crap. - ( laughter )
I don't like that cherry. It's nasty.
But the pudding is awesome!
Oh, gosh.
Who needs the power of choice?
What are you eating, man?
It's the sourest pudding I've ever had.
What is that, malic acid in the pudding?
Stevie:
Don't forget the sprinkles.
Wow, this power of choice thing...
- ( chuckles ) - This is why
everybody shouldn't have the right to vote.
'Cause some people make bad choices,
just like me.
Well, that seems like a horrible thing to say.
Cupid!
And here it is.
Ooh, cupcake.
You're not helping me out any, Cupid.
I'm sorry.
How's he supposed to help you out?
He's so innocent, though. I mean...
I felt sorry for him when he apologized to me.
I've got to get a higher number.
I want to feel what it's like to have the power of choice.
Nine.
- Two. - Yes!
The tables have turned.
And the table will turn.
Could spin, actually.
Look at this.
Over here I've got--
Oh! A rainbow-ish cupcake.
That looks nice.
But look at that dark and stormy cupcake.
It's got some stars on it.
It's a similar dichotomy as there was in the pudding round.
Mm-hm.
There's a dark night where you can still see the stars,
or the daylight with a rainbow.
Which should I choose?
The happiness of this.
I think I'm going-- I'm going to go with the scary one
'cause it's probably nice on the inside
if it's scary on the outside.
You think that's scary?
Yeah. Or go with the happy one...
that is sad on the inside.
You know what?
Dark on the inside. Darkness on the outside.
I'm locking it in
with a rainbow cupcake.
Take a big honking bite,
and let's see who is right.
- Oh, gosh... - ( laughter )
( laughs ) Mm, happy inside. Happy outside.
Man, last time we did something like this,
you kept getting everything bad.
I'm getting everything...
( imitating Rhett ) "The power of choice!"
Oh, gosh, what is this?
Stevie: So there's clam juice inside,
seaweed, raw oysters,
and squid ink frosting.
- Ew. - Stevie: And, Link--
Did you just lose a tooth?
Stevie: Link, yours is actually extra special
because your daughter Lilly made it.
- Ugh, did Lilly make this one? - Aw.
I'm coming after you, Lilly.
Lilly, you did a great job. Mm.
Cupid needs a coat, man.
- You cold? - No, I'm fine.
( laughter )
Ooh, we got some, uh...
- Cannolis. - Cannolis?
Oh, there's more sprinkles.
All right,
let's figure out this power of choice.
Oh, what's yours?
- 12. - 13!
Unlucky 13, though.
Okay, see if you can do it again, Link.
You're going for the queen sweep again.
Now, over here I see that this cannoli
has a light coloring, which would be normal,
but then the frostiness on the chips.
And there's gold flakes. Whoa, that's fancy.
Then over here we got happy happy, sprinkle sprinkle
with some sort of--
I think that the cream is a little bluish.
You think the cream is bluish?
That scares me a little bit.
- Okay. - Man.
Again, am I going with the happiness of sprinkles
has sadness inside?
Has there been any logic to the reasoning so far?
I mean, you were right.
I haven't kept track.
( laughs ) Yeah.
I erase my memory after every round.
Yeah, I think that they're keeping us guessing.
Can I just-- I'm just going to put my tongue on--
No! No! No! No! No, no, no, no....
I don't have the power of tongue?
Not the power of smell either.
You can't get too close to it.
Only the power of choice by sight.
I think those happy sprinkles
are hiding a demented secret.
Final choice?
But maybe I'm wrong.
'Cause I choose unlucky 13,
I'm turning the tables on the luck.
Do you know which one started on your side, though?
I was going to choose that one,
and now I'm choosing this one.
But where did it start because that would be
where the 13 would come into play.
Don't remember that.
All right, here we go.
Invisible dink it
and bite it.
- ( gagging ) - ( laughter )
- ( laughs ) - Not good.
What-- what is that log?
Looks like a frickin' dookie log in there.
Stevie: Those are pig parts. Intestines, liver,
kidneys, snout, and blood.
( spitting up )
Thank you, Cupid.
My daughter make that, too?
- No. - Good.
Love boy, drop it.
Made with love.
Oh, so we got mugs of something.
- Okay. - Not a lot to go on here.
Oh, it's a little heart.
Well, I got the one, so I know I didn't win.
And I got an L.
Seven.
All right, Link, ball's in your court once again.
but now we've got some hot chocolate-y drinks.
Mm-hm. Mine has a big mound of whipped cream
and shaved what appears to be chocolate.
Hm.
And then now, this one--
Whipped cream is great for hiding things.
This one's got marshmallows on top, of varying color.
Hm.
They both seem happy.
Actually these marshmallows seem to be dying.
They're just, like, wilting into something.
It's, like, so sad.
That one, you can't learn anything.
I can't learn anything about what's under this mound.
Man, I know this is bound to be real nasty 'cause it's
- the last one. - The last one.
Yeah, you know how you can learn something.
- Taste it. - Taste it, exactly.
Which one you gonna taste?
I think you should take the one with the marshmallows.
Well, Rhett, I appreciate the suggestion,
but there ain't no way I'm taking marshmallows
'cause I don't even like marshmallows.
I'm taking this one.
And I'm hoping that's whipped cream on top
and good stuff underneath.
( laughter )
What is that? It's hot!
Stevie: That's hot chocolate steeped with ghost peppers,
the world's hottest chocolate inside of it,
and drops of Flashbang hot sauce to top it off.
- No! - ( Rhett laughing )
Yeah. Mine's just real nice.
Ugh, hot chocolate literally?
That's real cute, guys.
Aah!
I got some down my throat, too.
It didn't all come up. Ugh...
You fell for it, man.
I had no idea you were going to fall for that very simple mind trick.
You-- you didn't-- you don't know nothing.
I said you should take the one with marshmallows.
You didn't know what was in the marshmallows!
I knew it was the good one.
No, you didn't.
I mean, it is the good one. ( laughs )
Whoo, that's hot.
Ah, you gonna finish that?
No, you can have it. Here.
- I'm okay. I'm okay. - It's really great.
I recommend you try it.
All right, stick around to see a bunch of people
"Lady and the Tramp"-ing food with their dogs.
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