My name is Robbie Lawlor, I'm 25 and I'm from Dublin in Ireland
and I guess I'm a HIV advocate now, if I can call myself that
Yeah I just work in the area of HIV
Can you tell us a little bit about when you got your diagnosis and how that was?
Yeah well I was 21. I was just finished college, 4 years
and I was just on my way to Australia with all my friends
and I never got a sexual health check before
so I was like right I'm gonna get one
'cause I was holding long-term relationships
I never thought- I wasn't symptomatic for anything
I didn't think I needed one
So I remember going and I remember I always thought
I was going to get that dreaded swab down the penis
but that was never the case
Just peed in a jar, got bloods done
and that was fine until three weeks later
I got a call and they asked me to come back in
and they told me my result was positive
Now I didn't even know HIV existed in Ireland
I really didn't understand how this 21 year old guy
who's just out of a long-term relationship
was getting this diagnosis, do you know?
And I was like can I go to Australia?
But back in 2012 you actually legally couldn't get resident visa
if you're HIV positive in Australia
So that was like all my dreams just taken away from me
Everything I worked for in college essentially was taken away from me
And then I asked, am I going to live?
Because I didn't know difference between HIV and AIDS then
I just thought I was going to die of AIDS
And they said my immune system was quite low
But once I start medication my immune system will go right back up to normal
and I'm going to live a long life
So straight after that I was able to go see a social worker
and I was able to bring my Mam straight in and tell her
because me and my Mam are best mates, I knew I could tell her
and then I just kind of took it from there
[How does your HIV diagnosis affect your everyday life?]
Well to be honest medically it's like one tablet a day
So nothing in that case
Initially it was kind of hard because I was like uhh I'm never going to have sex again
How am I ever going to tell anyone who I date again, do you know all of those things like?
It's a lot of anxiety
As in, oh who's going to find out?
If someone finds out everyone's going to know
Feeling yourself as less or dirty or unclean
All these words you hear about
I did think that about that for quite a while
But then I knew that was a load of crap
Do you know? I'm not less, I'm not unclean, I'm not dirty and
The reality is medically it's just one tablet a day
and just the social bit, you overcome
[You were saying earlier as well, when you did find out your status at first you were a little bit anxious about it
and is there you know any advice you'd give to people who might be HIV positive
who are nervous about maybe going back on the scene in terms of dating
or getting into relationships
or how they might you know disclose their status to potential partners?]
First things first, if you're living with HIV never be ashamed of yourself ever ever
Do you know what, you're just a normal person just getting on with their life
So never feel ashamed of yourself and never feel less than anyone else
It's very easy to feel like that when you're living with HIV
So that's what I wanted to put out first
Secondly when you're dating someone you don't need to tell them on the first date
You might not even like them, do you know?
Personally I tell people around the fifth date because
they kind of get to know you as a person
Not you living with HIV, do you know?
And the fifth date they're just like oh okay it's just another part of you whatever, you know?
But I also say if you're going on a date and you're like HIV is ruining my life
and start crying anyone will run a mile, do you know what I mean like 'cause
It doesn't have to ruin your life. Medically, no, and you shouldn't allow it to make you feel less
Be confident in yourself
When I told my boyfriend Morris at the time
about my HIV status it was on the fifth date and I was like
I have something to tell you I'm living with HIV
I have been the last, whatever, two years. Year.
And I told him all about the partner study
which shows if you're undetectable you can't pass it on
And I was like, do you know what, love my life, whatever
And I was like if you can't handle that I understand but it's just not going to work
And I think he was taken back by that because I was like, because I was strong about it
And he was like okay okay
He looked up a little bit about it and then we were together three years after
and it's just never been an issue
because I never let it be an issue, you know?
And I always say if someone gives you a bad reaction to HIV
Well you don't want to be with them in the first place you know so I was like
It's a good kind of test, do you know, a red flag
So I don't think necessarily it's a bad thing
It's actually quite a fun thing to do
I love seeing people's reactions to it sometimes