-John Mulaney. -Hi.
-Welcome back. -Thank you, Jimmy.
-Thank you for being here.
Congrats on this movie, by the way.
"Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse."
I've never seen an animated film like this ever in my lifetime.
It blew me away.
-It's an absolutely mind-blowing animated film.
It, like, combines different types of animation
'cause it's bringing together all these different universes
of different spider-men, women, and pigs in my case.
-Now you play -- which I kind of remember a little bit but --
-Do you remember the character? -I kind of a little bit, maybe.
I don't know. But there was a character.
It was all different types of spider-men,
but you play Spider-Ham.
[ Laughter ]
Spider-Ham is Peter Porker. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-And was this, like, a short-lived comic book?
-Oh, no. No, no, not short-lived.
[ Laughter ]
It was -- it was a spin-off of sorts.
I think started in 1983,
and there are die-hard Spider-Ham fans out there.
-Honestly, this is such a cool thing.
I'm going in,
and I don't really know much about comic books or Spider-Man.
I know of them.
-Well, I knew nothing about the actual project
when I first started recording.
-About the project? -Oh, yeah.
So, I got a call, and I said, "Hello." You know.
[ Laughter ]
-Good for you, though. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Good improvising already. -Absolutely.
Nothing fancy, ordinary hello, right?
-No, great, hello, yeah.
-And they said, "This is a company, big company.
Do you want to be in a movie?
And we can't tell you anything about it
and we can't send you a script."
Because when it's these superhero things,
they really keep them under wraps.
So, they said, "We can't tell you anything about it.
We can't send you a script."
Which is how a lot of kidnappings begin.
[ Laughter ]
But I was available, so... [ Laughter ]
-I'm up for an adventure. Let's go for it.
-I was like, "All right. Yeah, sure. What time? Where?"
-Unmarked van. -Yeah, okay.
-Sure. Sounds cool. [ Laughter ]
-Cool. Blindfold? Fine. [ Laughter ]
So, I get to a building and, you know, it's like Los Angeles.
So it's not like a famous -- It's just a slab of concrete.
And I go in, and Rodney Rothman was there,
and he said, "Do you know what's about to happen?"
Which if it was a kidnapping is a super creepy way to begin.
[ Laughter ] -That's even worse.
"Do you know what's about to happen?"
-Yeah. These psychological games are like, "Are you prepared?"
[ Laughter ]
-No. -"For level two?"
So, they said, "We're making this film."
They explained it.
They said that the cast was insane.
-Oh, my gosh.
-Nicolas Cage, Hailee Steinfeld, Mahershala Ali.
-Mahershala Ali is unbelievable.
-And Jake Johnson.
I mean, it's, like, a great group of people.
I said, "Who else are the actors in it?"
And they said, "You."
And I said "I'm scared because I've never been like --
I've never not known what a movie is
and then I'm about to be in the movie."
-Yeah, and then be in a scene with Nicolas Cage.
-Yeah, and they said, "Well, you play a superhero
who is a pig who makes --" [ Laughter ]
"Who makes nonstop outdated jokes."
And I said, "I got it." [ Laughter ]
-"Yeah, I got this nailed." -Absolutely nailed it.
It's really fun, and, like, I know this sounds like,
I'm selling it, but I kind of am, but --
-Yeah, that's why you're here, I guess.
-Yeah, I guess that is why we're really here in some way.
-Yeah, me too. Yeah.
-But it's like -- like, adults will like it
and children will like it,
and I only note that because when I was a kid
there was no movies that were for kids.
There'd be like one a year. -Yeah.
-They do like "The Little Mermaid" once a year.
And the rest of the time it was like parents would be like,
"You're going to the movies."
You'd be like, "What are we seeing?
They'll be like, "Working Girl."
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-"Just cover your eyes the whole time."
[ Laughter ]
-Your parents would take you to, like, those adult dramas?
-Yeah, yes. [ Laughter ]
-Really? -No, for real, they did.
I remember my mom and her sisters took me,
when I was maybe seven or something,
to see this movie "Regarding Henry."
Remember that? -Sure. Yeah.
-Hear the murmurs. -Oh, yeah. Harrison Ford.
-Harrison Ford, Annette Bening,
and he's shot in the head, and he has amnesia
and they're trying to rebuild their marriage.
Very adult. [ Laughter ]
-Sounds like a kid's movie. Kids love that stuff.
-I had to pee within the first five minutes,
and it's a very good Mike Nichols film.
So, my mom was like,
"I really don't want to leave, but I'll take you.
So then I come back.
Ten minutes later, I got to pee again,
and she said, "I'm not taking you to the bathroom again.
All right? I want to watch this movie."
So, I said, "Okay." I had to go.
I just waited and I just went in my jeans and --
[ Audience gasps ]
I didn't mind. And then -- [ Laughter ]
I had a little, you know, jacket, you know, kid, right?
And I tied it around my waist in front
and I walked out, and my mom said, "What's that about?"
And I said, "Well, you said we couldn't get up again.
So I peed in my jeans."
-You said that?
Yeah, and she was like, "What? Why would you do that?"
And I was like, "I don't know.
You said you wanted to watch the movie."
-Oh, my God. [ Laughter ]
What a good kid, man. -Yeah.
And also, you know, I like Mike Nichols too.
When I'm seven, I want to see. [ Laughter ]
I want to stick around.
-So, you go into this thing blind and you --
they give you a script
or do you get to improvise a little bit, or...?
-Oh. So, yes.
It is wonderfully scripted, but they did a thing
that is very generous when they say to comedy people.
They say, "Have fun with it and, you know, add your own words."
And so, for the very first session,
I'm still in fight or flight
'cause I think it's a kidnapping.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-I did go my own way with it, and I threw in my own lines,
and what happened was I was just cursing wildly.
[ Laughter ]
-This is you.
Thank you for -- you saved this exclusively for us.
These are outtakes.
These are not in the film.
-Yes, they sent along the video.
-John Mulaney doing the voice of Spider-Ham.
-This is real. I did this. -Yeah.
-Damn right.
Ah, you bastards.
And how the [bleep] is he gonna do that?
[ Laughter ]
And how the [bleep] exactly is he gonna do that?
Two days.
I've been Spider-Ham 30 [bleep] years.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-They can't use any of that?
When -- At what point did you find out --
-They were like -- they had said, "Go nuts."
So I'm like, "You mother--"
I'm screaming, and then I paused.
I went, "What is this movie rated?"
And they said, "PG."
And I said, "Oh, so, nothing I've just said is usable."
And they said, "No, but we just wanted to you have fun."
[ Laughter ]
-I want to show everyone a clip.
Here's John Mulaney as Spider-Ham
in "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse."
Take a look at this.
-You might need these.
♪♪
You think you're the only people who thought to come here?
-Hey, fellas.
-Is he in black and white?
-Where is that wind coming from? We're in a basement.
-Wherever I go, the wind follows and the wind smells like rain.
-Hi, guys. -Konichiwa.
[ Speaking foreign language ]
♪♪
-This could literally not get any weirder.
-It can get weirder.
I just washed my hands. That's why they're wet.
No other reason. -Okay.