I used to obsess over chasing for things I wanted to have, but I was never satisfied.
I didn’t take the time to appreciate what I have now.
Here is what I learned about embracing the present rather than imagining what the future
could be like because I am living in it right now.
I believe everything happens for a reason.
Instead of thinking “What if I did this instead of this…”, focus on what you have.
“What-ifs” are manifestations of things we want to do, but have not done them.
If you don’t want to be plagued with the things you could have done, just start.
Otherwise, don’t think about the things you want when there is something already in
front of you.
The present, comprised of actions and decisions we make now, is what drives the future.
You will never be satisfied because you will constantly be chasing for things, rather than
taking the moment to appreciate them, which is what makes life so much more meaningful.
If you encounter a situation that is less than ideal, do something about it.
I realized that nothing gets accomplished by only wishing for it.
During college, I wanted to get an internship despite my lack of experience.
Instead of hoping that the opportunity would come to me, I sought it out by using resources
that were available to me at the time.
This came in the form of applying on company websites, reaching out to my teachers and
utilizing the school’s career resources.
Even though my situation was less than ideal in the context of job searching, I was able
to make the most out of it by utilizing existing resources and having a positive (or learning)
mindset in that if things don’t work out, I would be prepared in the upcoming year.
Research shows that positive emotions provide an enhanced ability to build skills and develop
resources for use later in life.
This is considered “broaden and build” theory because positive emotions broaden your
sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to build new skills
and resources that can provide value in other areas of your life.
Negative emotions prevent your brain from seeing the other options and choices that
surround you.
I found that complaining made me not want to do anything and was a big demotivator to
moving on.
Our emotions influence the people around us.
Positive emotions enable change.
Negative emotions prevent emotional growth.
I used to complain a lot about the present.
I would relieve my stress by talking about other people or how my life wasn’t as great
as others.
The people around me, friends and family, would constantly complain so that didn’t
make things better.
In fact, it made me feel stressed, insecure and that the things I wanted to do were useless.
Eventually, I found that complaining held me back from appreciating the present or doing
something to change if it wasn't benefiting me.
I just had to develop the positive mindset to do, learn, move forward and repeat.
This meant to start working towards doing things I could do to get to where I wanted
to be.
Instead of being bitter about a situation I can’t do anything about, I try finding
ways I can do something about it.
This could be mapping out pros and cons or reflecting on what went right and wrong.
I like to believe that things happen for a reason, whether it’s getting rejected from
a job or breaking up with a significant other.
Though these experiences aren’t the most positive, they make us reflect on the parts
of ourselves we can work towards improving.
I recently broke up with a person I have been dating for the past six months.
It was really heartbreaking at first, but I learned a lot about myself in that I have
a tendency to be too emotionally dependent on other people, to the point where I don’t
put my needs first.
Now, I am trying to regain ownership of my own time, something that I haven’t had in
a long time because I would constantly spend my time with other people.
We can’t necessarily control what happens, especially when a situation isn’t what we
had planned or expected, but life is all about going with the flow.
I learned to not set initial expectations for things to happen, but to just let them
happen naturally.
If a situation isn’t stellar, instead of complaining about how things could be better,
we can move forward faster by embracing what we can during the moment, to look at the situation
in a way that has both positive and negative aspects, and do something about it.
That way, it prevents from being emotionally irrational and allows us to look at a situation
which can be improved and learned upon.
Every moment has its reason for existence and it is up to ourselves to make the most
out of it, understand why it might happen and work around it.
Complaining simply wastes time if not followed by a call to action, prevents us from seeing
the bigger picture of events, and for the most part, doesn’t make people feel good.