- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
Now today's question is one that I've received a lot,
and I actually took it from a Patreon video so I can
share it with you because I know that probably
for all the people who've asked, there's many of you
who maybe were too scared to.
So hopefully, this sheds some light on something that
maybe was a concern of yours.
Before we jump into it, I wanna just remind you
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But let's jump into the question, the question is,
hey Katie, I was wondering if you could talk about
getting your first gynecological exam when you're
a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
How can someone prepare for this when their body
physically cannot relax, even when getting intimate
with their partner?
Thank you so much.
And like I said, this came from Patreon
and I thought this was a really, really good question.
And I have some tips and tricks and things that I've
helped other clients of mine work on so you can get
through the gyno exam safely.
And I mean it's not a happy thing but we'll at least
get through it and it's not retraumatizing.
My first bit of advice is to talk to the staff.
If you don't feel that you can do it yourself,
have a supportive person come with you and tell them.
I find that when we tell the staff, hey,
you know I have a past history of abuse and so
a gyno exam shoots my anxiety through the roof.
I can have panic attacks, it's really hard.
However much you wanna share, feel free to share it
because once we let them know, even just the nurse,
then they can cue the doctor to it.
And I find then, they can go through the steps with you
if you want and let you know what they're gonna do
before they do it so there aren't any surprises.
It kinda slows down the whole exam so that we can feel
more in control, okay?
So that's my first tip, talk to the staff.
My second tip, before you go in,
work on some mindfulness techniques.
Meaning relaxation techniques, whether it's breathing
or progressive relaxation, if we just imagine flexing
and relaxing each part of our body.
And using your imagination.
Where are you?
You're not in an exam room, you're on a beach in Maui
drinking a MaiTai, just relaxing.
I would encourage you to beef up those sorts of tools
so that when you get there, you can use them.
So now's the time to practice, check out some
progressive relaxation videos on YouTube.
I have my anxiety work book,
it has a ton of tips and tricks.
I also have that old video, I think it's just called relax.
It's like four by four breathing,
breathe in for four, holding for four, out for four.
All of those things can be super beneficial in the moment
but we have to practice them before we're there
because when we're there, we might feel a little more
maxed out, a little more anxious.
And so we wanna have them well practiceD so they're almost
like intuition, we don't even think about them,
we just do it.
And my third and final tip, bring a support person.
Like I said at the beginning to talk to the staff,
if that's too hard for you, you're gonna need someone there
who can express it for you.
If you want them in the room, if that helps,
bring them there.
If you wanna make eye contact so you feel a little bit
more grounded, do that.
I find bringing someone else with us not only ensures
that we go because then someone else is kinda holding
us accountable, they can maybe drive us if it's too
overwhelming, they can sit with us, they can be grounding,
we can hold their hand when we're feeling anxious.
There can be so many ways a support person can help
so make sure you reach out.
Oh and I'll through in a little extra,
just a little extra tip.
Some people find fidget toys or silly putty, having that
in your hands can be helpful too during the exam.
Just something to help keep you grounded,
something to focus your attention on so that you don't
think about all the other stuff going on.
I hope you found this video helpful,
like I said, this was not the first time this
question has been asked so I'm sure there are so many
of you who were wondering and maybe stressing out
and it's so, so, so very important that we take care
of ourselves and get regular checkups,
whether it's our basic checkup from our doctor or physical,
a gyno appointment, going to the dentist,
getting our eyes checked, all that stuff is so important
so make sure that you're doing that.
It's healthy mind, healthy body, right?
So you gotta take care of it all.
And I can't mention everything so if there are any tips
and tricks that you have that have helped you,
can you please it in the comments?
That you never know you're gonna help and who you may,
you know encourage to go finally get the checkup
they've been putting off for possibly years.
And I will see you next time. Bye!