-First and foremost,
you and your wife are expecting another baby.
Congratulations. [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Sunday, Bloody Sunday ♪♪ [ Laughter ]
-I mean, this is the -- this is the fourth?
-We're having our fourth child in 4 1/2 years.
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
[ Laughter ]
-Wow! That's a lot.
-It is a lot. It's a lot.
-Do you have room for this baby?
-I can't believe you said that, because we're having children --
It's outpacing our ability to house them.
[ Laughter ]
So I said to my wife, "This one, we're gonna have to
put him in a hotel. [ Laughter ]
It'll be nearby.
You know, up on Eighth Street, you know, somewhere nearby.
-It's a boy? -We're gonna have a boy.
-Hey, congratulations! Dude, that's good.
-Three boys -- Three boys.
And we have our daughter, Carmen, our son Rafael,
our son, Leonardo, and we're gonna have a boy.
And then, my daughter Carmen says,
"You have to have another one. We want to have another girl
so I have another girl in the house."
And my wife says to me, "Oh, I want to have
maybe one more, Alec. We have one girl."
And I say, "I hope you and your next husband are very happy."
[ Laughter ]
"We'll all be friends and live nearby..."
-No, but they're the most beautiful kids.
-"...in the cul-de-sac." -The cutest babies.
I know Carmen, because she's the same age as Winnie.
-My daughter goes to school with Jimmy's daughter,
and we try to bring her here,
but now she's got a very busy life.
You know, she's like, "I don't have time to come."
[ Laughter ]
"But tell Jimmy I said, 'Yo.'"
[ Laughter ] You know?
-Yo, yeah.
Does she say stuff to you, tell you what's what?
-Oh, my God. The other day, she turned to me,
my wife and I are sitting there, and very low-key,
I was, like, raising my voice with my wife.
We were talking about something, and my daughter looks and goes,
"Daddy, be silent --" What was it?
She goes, "Be silent, sensible, and nice."
[ Laughter ]
And I looked at my wife and my daughter, I'm like,
"So you guys have formed like a little union now."
[ Laughter ]
"Silent" was the first thing. -Yeah.
-Sensible and nice. It's very sage advice, yeah.
-Winnie told me I was acting like a baby the other day.
Because I was picking up these pieces of --
Do you have Zingo at your house?
Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
It's like Bingo but for kids?
And a million pieces go all over the place,
and I'm just, like, trying to pick them up,
and she wants to play characters with them, and I go,
"Winnie, I'm just trying to put them back."
She goes, "You're acting like a baby."
[ Laughter ] -My favorite was --
I've said this before maybe, so forgive me.
Our two kids are in the same school,
and they're talking in school, and my daughter goes,
"My Dad plays Donald Trump on TV, he's very funny,"
and then Winnie goes, "My Dad's on TV,
and he's really, really funny."
[ Laughter ]
And I look at Carmen, and I go,
"Winnie's dad is funnier than your dad."
-Oh, no. [ Laughter ]
-"Winnie's dad is funnier than your dad."
-No, not at all. -But anyway, the --
So we're gonna have our fourth child in 4 1/2 years,
and it's great, because my wife is --
Oh, man, makes me cry. She's the greatest mom.
She's the greatest mom. [ Audience "Awws" ]
-She really is. She's awesome.
-She really is. She's really --
-I love Hilaria.
-When you have a lot of kids, it's like they all --
You know, they all kind of -- they rip her to pieces when --
If she goes out and does anything, and she comes home,
the kids are, like, on top of her.
I'm doing well with the kids until my wife comes home.
Like, I'm with them, and I'm like, "Yeah,
And then what happened? No, you're kidding me. Really?"
And we're getting along great.
My wife walks in the door, they're like zing!
-Like, "Later, Gator." -I'm invisible.
-Show you the hand, absolutely, yeah.
But you look good. How are you feeling?
Because you just had hip-replacement surgery.
-Oh, I had my hip replaced, and it was weird
because you walk around -- You have never had
any orthopedic problems your whole life, your knees --
-No. -You only had the finger thing.
-Just the finger. I almost lost my finger, yep.
Besides that. Basically nothing, yeah.
-But I had my hip replaced, and it's funny
'cause you have the pain before the surgery,
and then they say you're going to have the surgery.
And after the surgery, you're in pain,
and then you have to have physical therapy after that,
and you're in pain.
It's just like a whole kind of smorgasbord of pain.
-Of pain. -Like months and months
and months of pain, but I'm feeling better now.
-And you're doing all the rehab and all that stuff?
-I'm doing the rehab, yeah.
-Yeah. You're doing --
-No, I went today.
I mean, I go to the rehab, but you should go every day.
I don't have time. I have to come here and see you.
-Thank you, buddy. I appreciate that. We have --
[ Cheers and applause ] See? That's a buddy.
-No, but it really hurt. And I was mentioning --
I said to people, I made the mistake
of watching the procedure on YouTube
with these English doctors. [ Audience groans ]
No, no, no. It was unbelievable.
And at one point, obviously, when you do surgery,
and the body is all kind of gowned and cloaked
and there's just, like, one little box,
one little window of the field that they're going into,
and in this hole, this guy has a drill
that you have to hold with two hands.
-Like a jackhammer? -Like a jackhammer.
It was like a baby jackhammer.
And the guy literally is going [British accent] "All right.
Now I think we are going to go with the blobbity blah" --
[Normal voice] this English guy --
and all of a sudden [Imitates drill whirring]
[ Laughter ]
Into the guy's hip.
And the body's on the table going, eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh!
-Freaking out.
-And I watched it, and I thought, "Oh, no, no, no."
-"No, I can't do this." -No.