>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
SAY HI TO JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN," EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, JON!
>> Jon: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
>> Stephen: HOPE YOU SPEND IT WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.
YOU KNOW, WHO I WAS HOPING TO SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY'S DAY WITH
IS PRESIDENT TRUMP'S ADVISOR IS STEPHEN MILLER, ADVISES THE
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.
>> I'M PREPARED TO GO ON ANY SHOW, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SO WE INVITED HIM TO COME ON THIS SHOW TONIGHT IN THIS
THEATER, AND THE MAN IS A MAN OF HIS WORD.
IS HE HERE?
>> Jon: HE'S NOT HERE.
>> Stephen: HAVEN'T SEEN HIM?
>> Jon: NOT YET.
OKAY. BECAUSE THIS IS A SHOW AND THIS IS A TIME AND THIS IS A WHERE.
>> Jon: RIGHT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
HE'S NOT SITTING IN WITH THE BAND OR ANYTHING TONIGHT?
>> Jon: NO, I MEAN, WE GOT A COW BELL FOR HIM IF HE COME
AROUND.
>> Stephen: ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.
WE STILL HAVE 45 MINUTES FOR HIM TO SHOW UP, RIGHT?
>> YES, SIR.
>> Stephen: HE'S GOING TO BE HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, AS I SAID IN THE PART OF
THE SHOW WHERE YOU CAN SEE MY PANTS, MICHAEL FLYNN IS OUT AS
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NATURALLY, DEMOCRATS ARE UP IN
ARMS.
>> WHAT DID THE PRESIDENT KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?
>> STEPHEN: I KNOW THAT ONE.
NOT MUCH.
AND ALL THE TIME.
( APPLAUSE ) OR HE TOLD FLYNN TO DO IT.
OKAY?
WE DON'T KNOW.
I'M SURE CONGRESS WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT, AS SOON AS
THEY FINISH WITH HILLARY'S EMAIL SERVER.
THE MAN IN CHARGE OF ANY INVESTIGATION WOULD BE
CHAIRMAN FOR THE HOUSE COMMITTEE ON OVERSIGHT AND BLOATED DONNIE
OSMOND, JASON CHAFFETZ.
CHAFFETZ IS THE GUY WHO COULD INVESTIGATE TRUMP'S TIES TO
RUSSIA.
EXCEPT HE WON'T.
>> COULD THERE BE A BROADER BIPARTISAN
INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION INTO THE ADMINISTRATION'S TIES TO
RUSSIA?
>> I THINK THAT SITUATION IS TAKING CARE OF ITSELF.
>> STEPHEN: REALLY?
THAT'S LIKE A DOCTOR AT THE FUNERAL SAYING, "I WAS GOING TO
TELL HIM THE DIAGNOSIS, BUT LOOKS LIKE IT TOOK CARE OF
ITSELF!" ( LAUGHTER )
BUT FOR A MAJOR POLITICAL SCANDAL, REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN
CONSPICUOUSLY SILENT.
EVERYBODY BUT NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN AND MAN WITH SLOWLY
SHRINKING HEAD, CHRIS COLLINS.
HE WENT ON CNN THIS MORNING TO EXPLAIN WHY ALL OF HIS
COLLEAGUES WERE NOT COMMENTING ON FLYNN.
>> YOU ARE THE FIRST MEMBER OF THE GOP THAT WE HAVE HAD A
CHANCE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS.
NO WORD FROM RYAN, NO WORD FROM MCCONNELL.
WHY IS EVERYBODY SO QUIET?
>> UH, WELL, IT'S UH UH VALENTINE'S DAY, AND I GUESS
THEY'RE HAVING BREAKFAST WITH THEIR WIVES.
>> STEPHEN: OF COURSE!
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
VALENTINE'S DAY BREAKFAST!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT OLD TRADITION ALL OF US DO!
THAT'S WHY REPUBLICANS WERE SO QUIET ON THIS ISSUE.
THEY WERE ALL HAVING BREAKFAST WITH THEIR SWEETHEARTS.
BUT IT DOES RAISE ANOTHER QUESTION.
WHY WASN'T CONGRESSMAN COLLINS WITH HIS WIFE?
TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, WE GO LIVE VIA SATELLITE TO HIS WIFE,
MRS. CONGRESSMAN COLLINS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MRS. CONGRESSMAN COLLINS, HAPPY
VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> OH, IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY?
I HADN'T NOTICED.
>> STEPHEN: SO, DID YOU AND THE CONGRESSMAN HAVE VALENTINE'S DAY
BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?
>> WELL, THAT WAS WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR, BUT HE WAS GONE
BEFORE I WOKE UP.
OFF TO CNN!
SO, I HAD BREAKFAST FOR ONE.
>> STEPHEN: HUH.
SO ALL OF YOUR HUSBAND'S COLLEAGUES WERE WITH THEIR
SPOUSES DURING THIS MAJOR SCANDAL?
IS THAT NORMAL?
>> I'M TOLD IT IS!
APPARENTLY, ALL OF THEM WERE ELBOW DEEP IN HEART-SHAPED
WAFFLES.
GOOD FOR THEM!
I'M HAPPY FOR THEM!
>> STEPHEN: WELL, I ASSUME YOU AND THE CONGRESSMAN HAVE SOME
SPECIAL PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
>> OH, DEFINITELY STEPHEN!
I'M SURE CONGRESSMAN COLLINS HAS A BIG SURPRISE PLANNED FOR
WHENEVER HE GETS DONE TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL FLYNN.
HE DOES LOVE THAT MICHAEL FLYNN.
I'LL BET THEY HAD VALENTINE'S DAY LUNCH TOGETHER.
BUT HE'LL BE HOME FOR DINNER.
I'M SURE OF IT!
I HAVE TO BE.
>> STEPHEN: WELL, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MRS. COLLINS.
>> YEAH.
HAPPY REGULAR DAY!
>> STEPHEN: MRS. CONGRESSMAN COLLINS EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE BACK WITH CHRISTINE BARANSKI!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )