(cheerful music)
- Okay, so I've got all sorts of backgrounds you can choose.
Just pick whichever you think
will be the best Tinder picture.
- Great, do you have Nagasaki?
- This is gonna go terribly.
I don't think that Disney sends
the mature, sensual vibes you think it does.
- That's my entire personality!
(camera clicks)
- I understand your butt looks nice,
but you wouldn't have a conversation like this, right?
(woman mumbling indistinctly)
Yeah, see, I can't hear you.
And, got it. Okay, that's gonna be a nice one.
- Great. - What are you doing?
- Radically changing my facial hair for the next picture.
- You could pick anything,
you're picking a mall dressing room?
- Do you think I can return these underwear?
- Oh, okay.
- Hello, I would like to go on one date,
please and thank you.
- This is ridiculous.
I knew it!
- Blast, I would have gotten away with it
if it weren't for you, gumshoe!
- Don't use someone famous, idiot.
(woman laughs indistinctly)
- It's still weird.
(camera clicks)
Great, you look really pretty in that.
(camera clicks)
Another nice one.
Maybe one where you're not soaking wet?
- No!
- Please, I must breathe!
- Jesus, oh god!
- Okay, let's do the next one.
- You look completely different.
- I like the element of surprise.
(camera clicks)
- Got it.
(camera clicks)
- (sighs) Got it.
(camera clicks)
- Nobody can see what you look like in ski gear!
- But they know we're rich.
- I like your bow tie.
- [Both] Too bad mine's fake.
(romantic music)
- Okay, what's next? - Just one picture for me.
- One picture is fully insane.
People will think you're a serial killer.
- Do my boobs look good in it? - Yes, but-
- Then I'll be fine.
(camera clicks)
- Ugh, it's so on the nose.
- Uh, do my abs look good in it?
- Yes, but- - (laughs) Then I'll do fine.
- But does my butt look good in it?
- It's still so weird.
- I said, does my butt look good in it?
- Yes, but- - Then I'll do fine.
- There's no problem so big
it can't be solved with olives and vermouth.
Right? - I say that all the time.
- Then you're as clever as you are handsome.
- What? That's, me? You!
(romantic music)
- Just about ready!
(camera clicks)
(placid music)
- Oh, whatever. (camera clicks)
Hey, would you like to have a drink with me sometime?
- Oh, I'm 3,000 miles away. - Fuck.
- Well, that's too bad. I was rooting for them.
- Yeah, me too.
(romantic music)