In this video, we're going to be talking about how to get your ex back in a long distance
relationship. But first, my name is Clay with ModernLove.Life. We help you get the great,
loving relationship you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having
to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you
are not because you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person
that you are. And if you agree with me, do me a favor by hitting that thumbs up button.
It does send a message to the YouTube algorithm that these are good videos and they might
want to think about showing them to some more people that might benefit from them. So it
takes just a moment. So if you do find value in these videos that I make, please help me
out, hit that thumbs up button, and subscribe to the channel so that you can get notified
when we post new videos. Also, we do have our course called the Ex
Solution Program. It kind of walks you through the whole process of getting back together
with your ex and building an emotional connection with them even if the two of you are long
distance. We have a link for that down in the description box below this video. If you're
interested, feel free to check it out. If it seems like a good fit for you, you're more
than welcome to sign up. If it's not right for you, that's totally okay as well too.
But there's that link down there. Yeah. So I wanted to make some videos that
kind of highlight some of the success stories that some of our previous clients have had.
I haven't really done that a whole lot for whatever reason. But I wanted to start doing
that to let you know some people's personal experiences and let you know that like, "Hey,
if someone else could do this, maybe you can do it too." So with that being said, I want
to tell you about one of my favorite all-time clients, which if you're on our newsletter
or if you're in our community, you may have heard of Stephen before. But Stephen is one
of my favorite success stories because he had the whole deck stacked against him in
a lot of ways. Him and his ex, his girlfriend were long distance. They lived in other countries
on opposite sides of the world. So there was the distance, there was a language issue,
culture issue, time zone issue. Not only that, but she broke up with him and ended up in
a rebound relationship with someone else. Stephen, like many of us, believed that this
other rebound guy was more attractive than him, had a lot better qualities in certain
capacities and all that. And he was feeling a little bit insecure. Not only that, but
Stephen was about to turn 60 years old. So there was part of him that was wondering like,
"Hey, is this too much? Am I over the hill? Maybe this whole love thing is not for me."
And so there were a lot of issues that he had stacked against him. Also, his ex swore
up and down that it was over for good. And so there were a lot of things that he had
stacked against him. And any one of these individual things could be enough to discourage
a lot of other people out there. However, Stephen knew what he wanted and he
was willing to go for it 100%. And that is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why he was
able to become so successful and actually did get back together with his ex. How exactly
did this work? How exactly was he able to take this long distance relationship situation
and turn it into a new beginning for him and his ex who, by the way, about a year or so
after they got back together, they ended up getting married and now they live in the same
place and they are not long distance any longer, but how exactly was he able to bridge this
gap? So first and foremost, we needed to start
by looking at why the actual breakup happened. And it happened because Steven was feeling
a little bit insecure. He made an insecure comment on her Facebook page, and that inspired
her to break up with him. Now of course, there were issues brewing beneath the surface for
a while. And that was just the one straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. But that
is what precipitated the breakup. And he was primarily talking with her through Skype online.
They were a long distance, so they couldn't just meet up in person. And I forgot to mention
this as well, too, but there was an age difference between him and his ex. They were almost 20
years apart in age. So there's another complication right there that he had going against him.
But after the breakup, she swore up and down that she didn't want anything to do with him
any longer. She was fully committed, so she said, to this new rebound relationship. And
she was wanting to give it 100%. However, she was still at least talking to Stephen.
And that is kind of a big factor when it comes to getting back together with your ex, especially
when it comes to long distance. If your ex is open to communicating with you in some
capacity, that is a very positive sign. That's usually the first hinge that a lot of these
situations sort of swing on is, okay, can you communicate with your ex? Is there that
open channel? If they've totally blocked you and you have
no ability to communicate with them, then that is a major obstacle that, it can be overcome,
but it does present a lot of like, "Okay, well, if they're not willing to talk to me,
then what exactly is our option?" We have to kind of wait for them to have a change
of heart and unblock you or decide that they're willing to have a conversation with you or
something like that. There can be things that we can do, like say, "Okay, if they're not
talking to me, it's maybe because of how I'm bringing myself to the situation. Maybe I
need to change that up a bit." And we can try a few things. But if they're just very
staunchly not wanting to talk to you, then there's not a whole lot we can do until they
start to have that change of heart. But Stephen was, thankfully, able to stay
in communication with his ex. She was very committed to the idea of not getting back
together with him just because her trust had been broken. She didn't think that he was
fully committed to her and thought that he was just playing around with her and his intentions
weren't to get married or something like that. But through being in communication with her,
he was able to demonstrate to her that like, "Okay, actually I am interested in having
a future with you." Obviously, if you're broken up, it's not the time to bring up getting
married or anything. But yeah, I do have intentions for a future with you. And it was through
this sort of conversation, through this sort of back and forth, that he actually was able
to organize and arrange a trip to go visit her where she lived.
And it was on this trip that she was able to see like, "Okay, wow, this guy is actually
really committed, he's really interested, he's really devoted. He's willing to meet
my family, he's willing to be a nice, friendly, generous, gregarious person and all of that."
And that was kind of the main turning point was like, "Okay, not only was my prior experience
of him incorrect, but it was actually very wrong. And he actually did want the same things
that I wanted. We actually did have a shared value system, a shared vision for what we
wanted. And I was able to experience that to the point that the trust switch actually
flipped and I could actually trust that what he was saying was true and it wasn't just
all talk and no follow through." And so that was really the main door that opened between
the two of them was when she actually got that he wanted the same things, a future,
marriage, all that stuff. And of course there was some skepticism on
her part. There was some hesitation like, "Oh, hey, is this just an act? Or I don't
know." We all have those limiting beliefs that rush in to fill in the blanks and to
tell us like, "Oh, hey, this is too good to be true. I can't let myself open up again
or I'll be hurt again." And things like that. But he was able to get past that by demonstrating
to her that like, "Hey, yeah, it's totally fine to have that fear and concern. At the
same time, here I am. I'm willing to show up as the kind of man that you seem to want
in your life." And that was really the switch that flipped and got her to say, "Yeah, fine.
Let's get back together." And those are always great messages to get
from clients is like, "Hey, we're back together. Things are looking great." And of course,
the ones that you really like and that really make you stop and say like, "Wow, we're doing
something really worthwhile here with our time," is down the road, when you get the
message of like, "Oh hey, we got married. We're not only back together again, but we're
getting married. We're starting our lives together. We're not doing this whole long
distance thing anymore, but we're both living in the same place. And we're creating this
new marriage together." And so that was what happened, I think it was about maybe a year
or so after they actually got back together was, they got married. And that was really
cool and really interesting and really exciting. We were all very happy for them.
But yeah, the big lesson is that you have to be willing to overcome the apparent obstacles
that are standing in your way. You have to be more committed to the reasons why your
relationship can work, why this is the right relationship for you, than you are committed
to all the reasons why it's too hard, it's too difficult, it's not going to work. So
often people come to me and they ask like, "Hey, here's what's going on in my relationship."
And they tell me the details and they say, "Is it hopeless? Should I give up?" And honestly,
when people start coming to me with that sort of perspective, it makes me see that okay,
things are less likely to actually happen here. Because if you're able to be derailed
by some sort of external thing, then it means that okay, there's probably going to be a
lot of ups and downs in this process because that's just the way relationships are. If
you get discouraged during one of those down periods and you decide to give up, obviously
you're not going to get back together. But if you're like our friend Stephen and
you're willing to push through because you know what you want, you know it's important
to you, and you know what you're willing to do, then you can get through those low periods
and actually stand a good chance of getting back together. Now, of course, I don't want
you to just blindly barrel forward and just be that love sick person that's still pining
for their ex years and years and years down the road when they have clearly moved on and
done other things, which is why we have certain fail safes to keep you from doing that where
it's like, "Okay, if this certain period of time has passed and there's no progress, hey,
let's check in and see what's going on here." Is it maybe we just have the wrong strategy?
Is it maybe this just isn't the right thing for you right now? Or what's going on?
But I don't want you to just be sort of blindly focused on this to the point where you're
walling everything else out. But you should be focused on like, "Hey, this is what I want.
This is what I'm willing to do." And check in from time to time if you're not seeing
any progress. That's what I'd recommend for most people out there. Apparently it's worked
out pretty well for Stephen. Anyway, that is one success story that I'd like to share
with you in one of these videos. It did involve a long distance relationship and a couple
other obstacles as well too. But that's one of my favorite success stories because he
was just willing to go for it despite the fact that he had so many external obstacles
stacked against him. But once again, if you do want to learn more
about that Ex Solution Program course, which, by the way, Stephen did go through, you can
find the link for it down in the description box below in this video. If it's right for
you, feel free to sign up. If it's not right for you, no worries. But once again, if you
did find this video helpful, please hit that thumbs up button. Thank you so much for watching.
And I will talk to you next time. If you do want to learn more about how to connect on
an emotional level, we do have a video series on advanced relational skills that is right
over here. Or you might want to check out this video right here. But thank you so much.
Please take care, and I'll see you next time.