- [Crew Member] Marker.
- Hey guys!
- No, this is not your show.
- I know, I know, I'm a guest.
- What's up y'all?
Welcome to another episode of Basic to Bougie.
I'm your boy, Timothy DeLaGhetto.
This is Darren Brand.
- Big Baby. - This is.
- Justina Valentine!
(crowd cheering)
- You know how we do.
We try three different versions of a food,
and try to figure out what is the cheapest version.
- Come on now. - And which is
the most expensive. - Uh huh.
- It's like us, three different versions.
It's like the United Nations in this bitch.
- True!
- Don Vido!
- We on budgets.
You're not gonna be with us no more.
- Don't have a blindfold for you.
- You're just gonna put a jacket over my head?
Okay, okay. - Yeah, there we go.
- Alright.
- Don Juan!
- Give it to me, daddy. - Is it off?
- Ooh, it's hot. - Is it off?
It's off. - Oh, its warm
- It's warm? It feels like pig toes
- Listen, listen
(squishing noise)
- Oh my gosh!
It sounds like you're stirring that mac and cheese
- Mac and Cheese! - Mac and Cheese.
- Who doesn't like...
- Who doesn't like mac and...
- Are you about to
use that to eat? - Now why did you hold my--
Why are you combing?
- What? It's my hair.
- White people (bleep).
- It's alright.
My hair is clean, and I kiss my dog in the mouth
- We not shocked by that.
What we got with appearance?
- Off appearance, everyone knows...
- Basic!
- Basic, we're here with the.
- Smaft!
- With the smaft
- This what we got, bacon.
- Mushrooms. - And mushrooms.
- But it might be those mushrooms,
cause some mushrooms you cook 'em and
they taste like bacon, you feel me?
It's a thing.
- [Justina] Oh my gosh it does taste like bacon.
(chewing)
- That's good right there.
- Mmm.
- Oh yeah. - That's tasty.
- I do love mac and cheese.
- [Timothy] Man.
- It doesn't taste as good as it look.
- Remember to keep your mouth open.
- Don't. The food tastes different
when the air hits it.
- If you use the back of your fork
- If you use the back of your fork,
add a little hair in there.
- [Darren] It looks like it's gonna taste great,
but it doesn't taste as good as it looks.
- [Justina] There's like a refined...cheddar
- I like the mushrooms on top better than
the actual mac and cheese.
- We'll just put this to the side
Put it to the side.
- [Timothy] Alright, let's see what this guy talking 'bout.
- Mm, this cheese is too cheesy for me.
It's got some of that
nasty cheese in there. - Oh no, oh no.
It's too cheesy!
- Oh, it's super cheesy. - No.
- I ain't got nowhere to put it.
- Uh uh, it tastes so bad,
it might be the most expensive.
- [Timothy] Yeah, you know what,
I'm thinking the same (bleep).
Like, it had that gorgonzola taste,
you know? - Yeah.
- Yeah, you can tell they tried to do too much.
- [Justina] Too much.
- Yeah, just make it mac and cheese.
- I'm a tell you, I'm gonna like the basic one,
As per usual.
- We're not shocked
- I like the stinky cheese one.
- You would.
- [Darren] Hold on, hold on.
Everybody do it at the same time
- Yeah.
(liquid stirring)
- [Timothy] Man, it looks great.
- Oh, you took it too far. (Justina moaning)
You always go too far. - Yeah, one step too far.
It's like I'm here and I'm good,
and then I take it right here and its like too far
- Yeah, keep it simple, bro, c'mon dawg.
(chewing)
- It's basic but to me it tastes good.
- No, that's really good.
- That's good mac. - Yeah.
- [Darren] That's good mac.
- [Timothy] It's kinda like some lil jalapeno cheese.
- Yeah, it's actually. - It is!
- It's like some, uh.
- It's a nice little twist
- Just for it, it might not be cheap.
- Mmm. - You know what I'm sayin'?
Cause it got a lil something in there
- That's a cute twist, that little jalapeno flavor.
- This (bleep) great. - This is delicious.
I'm not gonna lie to you. - This is the best kind.
And I don't wanna lose because--
- I don't wanna lose either,
but I still think it might still be the cheapest.
But the jalapeno flavor is like.
- It's different. - Got a little aftertaste.
- Yeah, I don't know. - You saw that?
Had a lil after bite on that thang.
- I am Italian and this is pasta so,
ya know, I might wanna throw my two cents in.
- Go ahead, go ahead. - Ya know what I'm saying?
I'm a connoisseur of a couple of things
and one of those things is a good old bowl of pasta
(kisses hand)
- So I'm gonna say, even though this is the most delicious,
it might be the cheapest.
Then after that, I'm gonna go for
the most disgusting as the middle.
It's the middle-man, he gets shot first.
And then I'm gonna say that this guy
is the mob boss because he's got
all the trimmings of a boss.
He's got the (bleep).
He's got the guns and he calls the hits.
That's my final order
(fork clinking on bowls)
- Jeez, that was long.
(laughing)
- That's a long bit. - What?
- I was trying to pull from like The Godfather.
- No, I got it, I got it. - Yeah, we knew what you
thought you were doing. - Remember, backwards.
and let the air hit it.
(laughing)
- I'm not mad at that order.
Mushrooms, mushrooms. - Don Vido, come in here,
and bring me the order of who's
gonna get the hit, and if this isn't correct
you might be next.
Good thing we picked the frozen mac and cheese
as the cheapest, it's only $3.
I got a guy who's got a guy who's got a guy
gets it out the back of a truck.
- This is a horrible impression
you're doing right now. - Horrible!
The Italians are
so upset right now. - Ah (bleep), we messed up.
- No, you messed up! - Damn it!
- Miss Italian.
- It's alright, we'll just put the blame on Don Vido.
Because the middle should've been
the vegan mac and cheese.
- We ate vegan mac and--
Stop giving me vegan! - Yuck.
That's why it tasted so weird. - It's cause it's vegan.
You only need $15, homemade pastatini
- I don't even know what you said
- Neither do I, but it was $3, $8, and 15.
- I'm not shocked that Justina lost
the basic version of Basic and Bougie.
- It's crazy.
I'm so embarrassed.
This was my first off episode.
I've been right
on everything else. - Are you serious?
- Yeah.
What are you gonna do? - Okay.
You can't pick no more.
- So, now it's time for the bougie portion.
- [Justina] Can't believe you wanna put me--
- No, please - No! No, no.
Don! - Don!
- What is it?
Should we be scared?
- [Justina] It's wet.
- [Timothy] Oh, it's hot dogs, it's hot dogs.
- [Darren] Ain't no hot dog.
- [Justina] Well, what's wet?
Someone sniff their finger.
- Ohhh. - What is it?
- This is liquor.
(celebrating)
- Don Vido, your chances are getting better and better
- [Darren] Whiskey!
- Whiskey.
- Whiskey makes me frisky
- Some has a little bit of rubbing alcohol on it.
- I'm gonna tell you, this one has a kick.
- Cheers. (speaks foreign language)
- Hey, friends and family!
- [Timothy] Oh, okay, I was like how much you gonna,
oh, damn, okay.
- There it is.
- Oh, okay.
- That was kind of like.
- Smooth. - That was smooth.
I was just gonna say,
that wasn't-- - It didn't have that vibe.
- [Timothy] It doesn't burn, you feel the--
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- [Justina] I think that's- that's a pretty good liquor.
- Putting this on the higher up possibility.
- Yeah, me too, yeah.
- Whew, (bleep), it's hot.
We on two? - Yeah.
- [Timothy] Cheers?
- [Justina] Look in the eyes, look in the eyes,
you have to look in the eyes. - Oh yeah, look in the eyes.
Yeah, yeah. - Okay, look at me.
- She gave me the crazy eyes right now
- Alright, let's do it.
- Oh my God.
Oh, I know who this is
- Oh, I know this one.
- Yeah, I know, I know who that is
- This is a lil under the shelf though.
This ain't really high up on the shelf
- Yeah I know that taste.
What is that? - (coughing) Yo!
- [Timothy] It might be Smennessy
- I miss my girl man.
(laughing)
- Darren!
- I gotta do better man.
You know how you gotta do better?
I gotta do better man, like as a person
I just gotta like get there,
- Alright. - You alright Darren?
- You okay? - Hmm?
- You okay?
Yeah, you okay.
- [Timothy] Don't start, you gonna get me crying
- [Darren] Y'all not hot?
- No, not yet.
- It's not hot to y'all?
- Yeah. Take it off.
It's getting hot in here
- Let's go into the last one. - Take it off, Darren.
I have a feeling this is gonna be the cheapest
cause this smells like rubbing alcohol.
I can smell it man, this (bleep).
- [Darren] That's cheap?
- Yeah, it smells crazy. - It smells the cheapest?
- I'm testing it out.
- Can I get a-- - Oh yeah, that's nasty.
- In the eyes, in the eyes.
In the eyes. - In the eyes.
Mm-hmm, okay, cheers.
- [Justina] Yeah, cheapest, it has the most bite.
(laughing)
- Bitch, we made it. - I'm trying to figure out
who this is.
- [Justina] I don't know who it is
and I'm not willing to take another sip.
But I know that's the cheapest one
- Oh, yeah, that's definitely bottom shelf.
- Yeah.
That's nasty. - It burns a little more.
- This is the cheapest.
- [Justina] For sure
- I'm not mad at that
This one's definitely the harshest one.
- Yeah, definitely the harshest.
- [Justina] The more expensive (bleep) is more smooth.
- [Timothy] Alright I'm down with that
- I am hot!
Whew. - Cheap, middle.
- Mhmm. - Expensive.
- So it's in order? - No.
- That's not what it is. - So, in order
the way it came. - Cheap, middle, expensive.
- Alright so the bet is if we have it wrong,
you gotta take one of these shots, straight.
Because you're a guest.
(laughing)
- That's how we do. - I'm not gonna lie,
I'm already a lil drunk.
I see three of Don Vido.
Don Vido! (mumbling)
- Will you stop?
(blabbering)
- Yeah, Don Vido, give me (speaks foreign language).
- You just said you want three of his (bleep).
- I was doing my impression of you.
- You said Don, translation.
- I know what I said
(speaks foreign language) - Shut up.
Shet up.
- I know I- - Shet, Tim.
- Shet up. - Justina. Tim.
- I was being Justina. - Okay.
- This is on you, bruh. - Let's go, Henny Tim.
- Let's get it. - It's on you.
- Y'all ready?
- I'm nervous.
- Let's do it.
- Okay. Generic Kentucky bourbon whiskey,
$15 a bottle
- This is number one? - That's crazy.
- The one that actually tastes--
- The smoothest!
- The smoothest is the cheapest.
- [Timothy] 12 year scotch whiskey, $40 a bottle.
Number three, Japanese whiskey, $70 a bottle.
- [Darren] We got 'em all wrong.
- [Justina] We got them all wrong.
Every single one's pathetic.
- Throw this whole episode away
With that impression and this mess,
throw that (bleep) away!
(Justina blabbering)
- [Timothy] Oh no, what have I done?
- [Darren] So, we lost.
- Let's pour all into one.
Let's do the turnpike anyway.
(Timothy groans)
- [Justina] I'm gonna mix it all
just as (mumbling).
- Please.
Thanks for watching.
I'm Timothy DeLaGhetto
- You know alcohol (bleep) the worst.
- I'm Justina Valentine.
- [Timothy] He's Darren Brand.
- [All] Basic to Bougie!
(cheering)
- [Timothy] Oh, my God.
(shouting)
- We're going streaking!
Let's go streaking!
(cheering)