Film Courage: What notes do you give screenwriters the most?
Writer/Instructor and Script Consultant Shannan E. Johnson (The Professional Pen): Let's see,
there's so many. I give some of the same notes so much that I have I now have a template of notes
right so that you know back in the day I used to have to rewrite the same note over and over and
over but now I kind of have a template of some of the notices I give the most often but I think the
largest one is lack of a goal or a problem to solve and lack of an inciting incident because
the inciting incident causes the goal or the problem to solve so usually if there is no goal
or no problem it's because there was nothing that caused it and so I end up giving those two things
or I'll say your inciting incident is very clear this is what it is and anytime I do it I follow
it up with this is what it is that way the writer can go that's not what it is and they can realize
oh well it's not as clear as you thought it was right but just because you have a clear inciting
incident doesn't mean you now have a clear goal or a clear problem and so that's the nuts and bolts
of what your screenplay is so if your inciting incident isn't clear and if the goal that they're
trying to achieve or problem they're trying to solve isn't clear then now I'm going to be lost in
the sauce of the rest of your screenplay because I don't know what I'm tracking so kind of like an
essay right right you have your the first page of your of your essay you have to have your thesis
statement usually in your first paragraph because the thesis statement is telling us this is what my
hypothesis is this is what I'm going to try to prove to you and then all of the the following
paragraphs have the evidence of the thing that you hypothesized or the thing that you're trying
to prove so now I can read it and go okay this connects back to that this connects back to that
because I know what I'm tracking the same thing is true in a screenplay if you haven't given me that
inciting incident and that goal or that problem then I don't have a thesis statement so I don't
know what I'm looking for so you can have a whole lot of Adventure a whole lot of fun a whole lot
of action a whole lot of whatever but what does it all mean if I don't know what I'm supposed to
be tracking if I don't know if this is even if if their story should even be taking them down
that path because you didn't make it very clear for me what they were seeking in the first place
how many tries does it take for most New Riders then to once you give them those notes correct
it several drafts yes but I think it depends on the person some people are great at revising at
addressing notes right that's another skill set that writers need to have and not all writers have
it just because you are revising doesn't mean you're solving the problem just because you're
changing your script and writing another draft does not mean that you're fixing what the issue
was right so a you have to get a note that informs you of what the issue is right so we were kind of
talking about development executives earlier right and most development executives are not writers
it's not an expectation for them to be writers and there isn't a training program in story you know
for them to be executives like we talked about they're coming in with their Rolodex of who they
know their job is to connect people to each other their job is branding and marketing and all these
things and they're also giving you notes on your on your drafts but they might not necessarily
know the same language that you know as a writer because they didn't study screenwriting right so
sometimes writers can be given a note that they simply just don't understand because they're not
speaking the same language as the person who's giving the note so it's harder for me to then say
well that person doesn't know how to address notes when the note itself might have been the problem
right if the note is saying hey we have a problem here but it can't tell the writer why there's a
problem then the writer is left to not only figure out the why but also then figure throughout the
how to fix it right and so if they don't know what the actual problem is then they're not going to be
able to address it and Executives usually try to solve the problem for writers and I spend a lot of
my time when I'm doing my training with Executives I train them in story because I know again most of
them are not writers they didn't go to film school they don't have to go to film school there's no
training in that so I will work with executives so they can learn the act structure for whatever
it is their brand is doing try to teach them the jargon so that they can more effectively
communicate with their writers right but let's say they don't have that information so executives
spend a lot of their times going well what if we did this or what if we did that but again if
you don't know story structure then your what if might be exacerbating the problem right and now
the writer has been given examples of what they can do and they may think the executive is telling
me that's what I have to do and so then they put into the script with the executive suggested and
the problem is still there but neither of them knows why the problem is still there
because maybe neither of them know structure very well you know what I mean so if the note is clear
and then the writer can't address it then it might be that they just aren't very good at addressing
notes they might be great at giving you a good first draft second draft a good foundation right
but when it comes to really making things clear that just might not be their skill set there are
other writers who are great at that who are not going to do the first draft they're not going to
do the second draft they're going to be able to come in and they're going to address those notes
right and so I've dealt with some new writers who after one or two times but talking to me
they're able to address notes right but that's also because I'm speaking their language I'm
talking to them in the language that they speak about writing and then I have other clients
where they can talk to me 10 times and they still won't be able to address the note but that's just
because they don't have the skill set to address the note it's a totally different skill and it's
something that I'm gonna figure out how to teach so I've been giving more kind of workshops and
talks on how to address notes because if you want to be a professional writer and you want to not be
Rewritten all the time and you want to be able to stay with your project from the beginning to the
end you have to be able to address notes and I just think we don't talk about that often enough
what if they understand story and you're speaking their language but they feel that their version is
right yeah so this is where you hope that there is an opportunity for open dialogue right on one
side of it it doesn't matter if you think it's right now that it's been purchased by the studio
or network it's theirs not yours so it doesn't matter that you think it's right you know what I
mean they could be giving you a note because it's coming from the very top and this is what it has
to be you don't have to like it your job is to do it because at this point they're paying you for
it that's literally your job now with that being said depending upon like we said earlier you got
to read the room understand the environment know if this is one of those cases where it's like you
know what let me just address the note or if it's maybe I can talk to them about it then I would say
the same thing needs to be true you as a writer need to understand how to express yourself well
enough to make them understand why you're right and it's not by saying I'm right you have to be
able to show them in the script if we make this change it's going to have this ripple effect which
is going to cause this is that what you would like the executive who probably didn't understand you
know may not have understand understood the note that they were giving was going to make those
changes might go oh no actually that's not what I want at all but you wouldn't have known if you
didn't ask and it's about how you ask right versus no we're not going to change that it's blah blah
blah but being able to explain to them well for example if the executive says I don't like this
moment where the daughter curses her mom out I don't like that at all and they decide to
change it to the daughter coming in and saying something nice right that changes everything
because if I say something negative to someone we're going to take that negative tension into
the next scene if I come in and I say something positive to someone we're going to take that
positive tension into the next thing right and if the point was the daughter curses out the mother
in this scene because eventually they're going to get into an actual fist fight if I change this and
make it positive how do we get them there so then the question becomes do you not want them to have
a negative relationship do you not want them to get to this fight because the writer is going
to be thinking I still got to get them there and will it now feel disingenuous if this moment is
gone how do we now show the trajectory of them going from one end of the extreme to the other
right whereas what the executive was really just trying to say is I didn't like the word choice
in how she was talking to her mother I still want it to be negative I just don't want her to curse
but if they can't be that specific then now the writer is going oh they don't want any negativity
at all and now we got to change everything and blah blah blah but being able to have that
conversation is going to be helpful and it's another thing that I tell you know executives
about the notes process right like a lot of places and everybody does it differently because like we
say you got to read the room you gotta know what it is everybody does it differently but a lot of
places will give the notes in the moment to the writer so the executives have gotten together
hopefully with the studio as well maybe they did maybe they didn't and they will get their notes
together then they'll get on the phone with the with the writer and they'll read out the
notes or discuss the notes with the writer now the writer has received all of this what is considered
negative information because we're sensitive right so even even if they said one time really good job
but the rest of it was change change change change change change change change all we're hearing is
bad bad I'm a bad person I'm a bad person then at the end of the phone call they'll go okay do you
got it you good and the writer is gonna lie and go yeah yeah everything's good and then they get
off the phone and now they're freaking out right whereas if you're able to send those notes a day
or two a day or two ahead of time then the writer has an opportunity to cry scream whatever it is
going to do digest the notes and and then have questions prepared for things that they don't
understand but we usually don't get to get to the question part because we spent the whole
notes call you know reading out the notes well they're writers they know how to read they can
read the notes they don't need you to read them to them what what they need is a discussion what they
need is to be able to say so when you said you don't want the cursing did you mean you don't want
a negative relationship or did you just mean that you want her to use different words now the writer
has had time to digest and come back and ask the question and now the executive can go oh yeah yeah
it's just about the words right but you have to have you have to have time in those calls to be
able to do that and you usually don't if you're spending the entire call giving the notes instead
of being able to actually discuss them so that the writer feels good about what they understand
you're asking them for which gets you closer to them actually being able to address the note then
if they can't address the note now you might be able to say oh this writer doesn't address no as
well so should should a writer maybe and I don't know if this is overstepping their bounds but ask
hey is there any way I could just get the notes and email to me first and then we can do the call
so then they can compose themselves and be just in a better frame of mind yes they can ask and they
can also say no right but I think I think you can ask if you know that it's better for your process
and really I think it's probably better for most people's process right like you don't want to be
on the spot because also depending upon what your relationship is with these executives or
what their expectations are they want you to pitch out your solves right then so they're on the phone
going this doesn't work this doesn't work this doesn't work okay so what are your ideas and all
you're thinking is I'm just now taking in the fact that it doesn't work I don't have an idea
yet I don't know how to fix it yet I need to go think about it but now you're on the spot
and you're trying to come up with these answers right whereas if you had the 48 Hours like I'll
even say don't send it you don't want to send it out a week before because you don't want a writer
sitting in it right because in our sensitivity we will then try to address all those notes ourselves
and then come back and go well we fixed it all right it's like no we still need to talk about it
to make sure we're on the same page right but I do think if you if you can give that writer 48 hours
to read it digest it and come with their questions then that's helpful some people just don't do it
that way because of what I said before they don't want the writers freaking out so they don't want
to send it to them ahead of time they would rather be on the phone and allow the writer to hear the
tone of their voice and you know all of that so they know this is not that big of a note and this
is a larger note and we don't want you to freak out about this and blah blah blah they they'd
rather be able to kind of control that but no matter what when a writer receives a note they're
feeling negative stuff you know that's just what it is good critique bad critique whatever it is
we're feeling critiqued you know what I mean and so if you give us that time to kind of sit with it
on our own then we can come back and have more of a conversation so we can get to where we need to
get so I say yeah ask doesn't mean that you'll get it but definitely ask why do screenwriters think
that executives are the enemy because they are the ones that are given the notes you know what I
mean and you know kind of like I said any feedback can just be taken as I'm bad I'm wrong right so I
spend time you know working with screenwriters for them to understand that the executives have a job
their job is to give you feedback that is not a reflection of who you are as an individual
right they have a job to do which is this is our brand this is your story and we need those things
to be this so that means I gotta give you the notes that are going to get it there also what
I have learned even with working with professional writers is just because you're in this room as a
professional writer doesn't mean what you write is perfect you know what I mean there are going to be
notes there are things that need to be changed you can look at it as look at all of the rest
of the people who are part of my brainstorming committee right you're not on your own we're so
used to doing this by ourselves in our rooms in our you know in front of our computers that we
think that we're the only people who know our characters we're the only people who can you
know decide which which way things are going to go but really there are so many other people who are
part of this process who can make your project fantastic so be welcoming to the rest of the
people in your brain trust you know what I mean and so but I can understand them looking at them
as the enemy because they are the ones who are going to come slice and dice that thing they are
the ones who are going to come and possibly take it away from you you know give you your check take
it away from you and then go off and make it what they want to be by the time it gets on screen that
can be for the better or for the worse so I can understand how you could put them in that in that
enemy box but if you more so consider them your sidekick you know what I mean like they're the
person who are here to kind of help you if nothing else help you make your money right even if the
baby doesn't become the thing you want it to be they are here to help you get to the end of your
contract so that you can fulfill it and get your check they are on your team at least they should
be right and you never know what personality is going to be like and people have different
personalities and it might not be that easy of a of a process but at the end of the day they are
here to help you they want you to win if you don't win they don't win right so so they really do want
you to win even if it feels like they're always you know the person who's bearing the bad news.