Hey everybody, cargerger here and this is it. My final review for the entirety of season
5. A lot of you are probably wondering "why the fuck are you so late on this" and the
reason is fairly simple: I've been on vacation. I also needed some time after the season finale
to go back to it, binge watch the whole thing again so I can make a definitive review of
what I thought on the whole thing. Personally I hate reading reviews about movies and television
from these major websites because these people are paid to be pretentious dicks AND I can't
stand some Game of Thrones youtubers with their reviews because a lot of them have never
read the books and if they have they are too stuck up George's ass to enjoy the television
show. Despite what some of you may claim, I can enjoy aspects of the television show
while also giving a nod to the books.
So consider this the most brutally honest and fair review you'll see on YouTube. Promise
you that. Now...at the end of the episode 10 review I said i would be giving out some
gift cards to people who could give me the best Adolf Hitler is Jon Snow's father theory.
You guys know, I'm not a big fan of theories and I always enjoy taking shots at them. I've
read probably over a hundred of them and I chose 3 people who each got 50 dollar gift
cards to Amazon. This came out of my pocket and I always enjoy rewarding people who can
be as fucked up as I am.
I will be posting my favorite story up on my Facebook page along with a picture that
the person made through Photoshop. Quite funny actually, especially if you grew up in the
90's like I did and watched a lot of Cartoon Network. Now with that out of the way let's
get on to it.
First we'll start up in the North and I've got to say I'm impressed with how things turned
out for many characters. Some were a let down but a lot of them did shine and it was very
entertaining. I'm going to start with Sansa and the Boltons in Winterfell. I will say
that it was nice seeing that place again and it's a welcome change from King's Landing
but I also wish we got to see other places too.
Some of you may hate me for saying this but I really enjoyed House Bolton this season.
They've got to be my absolute favorite and I'll tell you why. Roose Bolton's actor does
an amazing job in his role that every time he was on screen you tensed up a bit because
he just brings so much gravitas to that character. Ramsay was also amazing. In terms of the character's
portrayal of course. One of the best things about the Star Wars prequel was Emporer Palpatine
and how much fun his actor had in playing that role and you can tell. I've got to say
the same thing about Iwan Rheon. Watching him play Ramsay was great. I read somewhere
that he originally auditioned to play Jon Snow but I really can't imagine him as anybody
else. Hes just that good.
I also want to point out that watching both Ramsay and Jon Snow this season...it really
does feel like they're both George Martin's version of Batman and the Joker...with Myranda
being Harley Quin. But as much as I enjoyed the Boltons...I don't really understand the
idea behind Sansa being married to Ramsay. It's way off course with what we're getting
in the books and I understand that they have to remove some things due to time constraints
but I Personally feel that Sansa is used as a punching bag way too often and shes never
really had much time to shine.
The main hype behind her character at the beginning of this season was that she was
this new person whose been taught a couple of things by Baelish himself....but then it
turns out that Sansa is right back where she was...being tortured and raped by a psycho.
It really doesn't make much sense to me why they would chose to pit her with Ramsay instead
of having her play the political game in the Vale with Petyr Baelish. The one thing I thought
they were going to do, and it's what I would have done. Is to have Sansa and Theon run
away and have Ramsay find out. He gets pissed and realizes that they probably ran away to
Castle Black where Jon is the Lord Commander. Ramsay then writes his infamous pink letter.
That would've been a great place to go but they didn't do that.
and see...the direction of some of the characters makes no sense to me and what they're doing
with them also makes no sense. Like Theon and Sansa jumping off the battlements when
they could've gone through another location in Winterfell. They do know the place better
than the Boltons. But yeah, Like I was saying... the Boltons were fantastic, especially Ramsay
but I was not a big fan of the direction they're taking Sansa. I feel as though her story could've
been more interesting had she stayed in the Vale with Petyr. Theon didn't get much to
do this season until the very end but i did enjoy his performance as well. Alfie Allen
is great as always and I'm a little disappointed we didn't get some other Greyjoys. But oh
well. Overall: The Boltons, very good. Sansa...meeeeh. Would like to see more Greyjoys. Moving on
to My man Stannis.
I'll say this now: Hes kind of a hard person to put on screen in terms of personality.
In a way hes kind of boring but there really isn't much too him. Unlike Jaime, who is full
of depth, Stannis is a very serious person and in some ways hes not too deep in terms
of character development. It's tough to put that kind of person on television but I still
feel like they could've given him more screen time and things to do. In season 3, for example
he barely did anything which I think is a wasted oppertunity and ever since the end
of season 2 the only thing hes really done is argue with Davos, make these little speeches
and complain. Some fans have said that Stannis' character has been completely ruined by the
showrunners and I wouldn't go that far but I would say that they've could've done a bit
more to make us like him.
This season I enjoyed his character in the beginning and in the end. His interactions
with Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly were great. His final stand at the battle outside Winterfell
was also amazing...it's just that when he leaves Castle Black there wasn't much there
for me in terms of enjoyment. Davos was....Davos. He really didn't do much for me to take note
of. Melisandre was there....I did enjoy her interactions with Jon Snow too, but I would've
loved if she got screen time with Sam. That would've been good considering he knows a
lot random stuff and they could've had some witty banter or something.
I will say that they did a shitty job when foreshadowing Shireen's demise. Hell, I was
able to call her death a mile away simply because there was an unusual amount of focus
on a character that has been around for quite some time. The scenes between her and Stannis
and Davos were good but they should've been done much early in season 3 or 4. My one complaint,
about Stannis and his group is that Melisandre's visions and powers are still so vague that
its frustrating when she doesn't go into detail. She wants to sacrifice Shireen because something
magical will happen...like what? Oh that's right....nobody thought to ask her. Hell I
don't think the showrunners even know much about her powers either. Shes been around
for 4 seasons now and all we know is that she loves fire and can give birth to shadow
assassins...I'm going to need a bit more detail on this please. Overall, Stannis went out
like a man. His scenes were fairly good, not as great as the Boltons in Winterfell but
I still enjoyed it. I would've liked more character development on him and some early
on interactions between him and his family to make his decision to burn his daughter
more of desperate and heartbreaking decision but what's done is done.
And before I move on to Jon Snow, let me just touch on Brienne for a moment here. I thought
her taking out Stannis was fucking bullshit but other than that I really did enjoy her
scenes this season. We got an awesome fight scene between her and some of the Vale Knights.
We got backstory and a bit of bonding with Podrick and we got to move her story a bit
further too. Many of you complained that we didn't see much of her but I liked that. Shes
not one of the top tier main characters of the show and I like that she didn't get too
much screen time that some other pointless characters seem to get. So yeah, Brienne was
alright by me this time around. Haven't been interested in her since season 3. Hopefully
they keep her scenes short and to the point.
Now on to Castle Black and Jon Shmow....so to sum it up: I thought it was good. I was
not expecting them to kill off Mance Rayder so quickly but I was okay with it and I do
understand why it was done. This is the television show going off in it's own direction which
is fine if it makes sense and, to me, it does.
The events at the wall with the election, stannis correcting people's grammar and the
tension between the night's watch and Jon's love for the wildlings was also good but some
of my favorite moments have to have been the conversation between Jon and maester Aemon
and the battle of hardhome. Kit Harrington's acting has improved a lot since season 1 and
everybody was on point. My one complaint, and I'm sure you all know it's coming....is
the abundance of Gilly and Sam. I won't even get into it because I've said it over 500
times already but get ready for more of that pointless bullshit because now that they've
cast Randyl Tarly for next season and you just know we'll be getting more of this fucking
guy. Once again, I don't hate Sam I just hate how much screen time he gets. Another thing
i just want to point out, it's not really a complaint more like a disappointing turn
of events. The two new characters we got at the Battle of Hardhome. That Thenn guy and
the wildling woman? I actually wanted to see more of them but then I realized: Oh ya...this
is Game of Thrones...SIGH.
I hate to run by this so quickly but the Night's Watch stuff was alright by me I found a lot
of it entertaining....I just wish they would've used Sansa escape as a way to shoe in the
pink letter. That would've been great but moving on to....hotter conditions over in
Dorne. Okay where to start with this shit.....what the fuck happened? You assholes had one job:
Don't fuck it up. Not that hard. A lot of it didn't make any sense, like Jaime and Bronn
sneaking into Dorne and the shitty pay off at the end. I thought they were going to do
a cool twist like: Doran was the one who sent the threat to Cersei or that Cersei made up
the threat to get Jaime out of King's Landing so she could do some political maneuvers but
nah. That would've made too much sense for this. What I honestly think happened is that
the showrunners Dave and Dan had some intern, probably the same guy who fucked up last year
by spoiling that it was the Night's King. They probably had that guy write the Dornish
scenes while they had sex with each other covered in mayonnaise because why the fuck
not. Pfft why the fuck not.
Okay so I'm not a writer but here is what I would've done had I been in the writing
room. This is my version of Dorne for season 5. Instead of sneaking into Dorne...how about
Jaime travels there the normal way to take the head of Gregor Clegane to the Martells.
Why? well during the trial by combat between him and Oberyn. The Mountain confessed to
multiple people, in front of a crowd, that he had killed Elia Martell and her children.
In front of people. Until that point it had been speculation that the mountain had done
it. In fact, in Season 4 Oberyn says that he heard rumors that the mountain killed Elia.
So with this confirmation, Jaime devises a plan to take his head to Doran, with Bronn
as a way to make peace with the Martells. To ensure they don't take Oberyn's death as
a reason to go to war or join Stannis. Okay so we have Jaime going to Dorne, with Bronn
and they are carrying the skull of the mountain. Arianne Martell, who is Doran's daughter,
she overhears her father talking that Jaime is coming and she rounds up the three sand
snakes to enact vengeance for her uncle. While Jaime travels around Dorne with Bronn, he
learns more about the Dornish culture, and as he learns about it we, the viewer, also
learns about it. On his way to the Water Gardens he is attacked by the snakes in a variety
of ways. For example, Jaime could be staying at an Inn in one of the towns and suddenly
dozens of scorpions drop down from the canopy onto him or as he gets out of the way in time.
You know, shit like that.
I feel as though this would've been better than the snakes trying to capture a little
girl and failing. Once Arianne's plans have been discovered then maybe we could've had
Doran lock her away and then reveal his plans....which may have something to do with the Targaryens.
I won't spoil the books but yeah. They could've done it but nope. we had to have shitty actresses
and terrible lines. "Bad Pussy" really? you guys must've been high or something because
that is fucking stupid. Also...I've said this multiple times and I'll say it again: Alexander
Sidig was a good Doran but he barely got any screen time. We had a Gilly and Sam sex scene
because..of course...but we couldn't have more of this important character for what
ever reason.
Yeaah I'm convinced that when the showrunners had to read this part in the books? they dozed
off. This amount of bad had to have been on purpose. There is no way someone thought this
was good. No way
But I'm being a negative nancy...there was one good part which was when that one girl
got her tities out....now if we just had her naked for the entire time? I probably would've
enjoyed it a lot more....just had her naked and give her no lines. Perfect. Overall Dorne
sucked. Moving on
The stuff going on in King's Landing, for a majority of it I was enjoying it. Especially
when Jonathan Pryce was on screen as the High Sparrow. He was very good and every time he
was on I paid attention. Lena Headey as always was great and I got to say this now: when
she was doing the walk of shame thing I had to pause and go and pop in my DVD of the movie
300. This will sound bad on my part but that's only because I'm a weak man, mind you. But
when she was naked? I did not even notice it was CGI until some of you guys pointed
it out to me. A couple of you got mad at me "carmine how could you not notice?" look whenever
tities are on screen I ain't paying THAT much attention to detail. But yeah in the movie
300 she had some tities out and the nipple color is all wrong and the size is a bit bigger
too. Not that THAT is a problem, of course not. I love all boobage big or small as long
as it's on a female...i had to clarify that, I know a lot of my subscribers very well.
You fuckers, don't even try.
They mixed King's Landing up a bit but the core of it remained true. Kind of. Some of
the religious aspect of what was happening had such perfect timing with what is happening
in the states. Cersei tried fucking with religion and it came back to bite her in the ass. I
love it. For the most part everybody was on point. The new Tommen I thought was okay.
We didn't see much of him last season and i thought he did a pretty good job of playing
a weak child...especially when he had his scenes with Natalie Dormer. Want to see more
of her please. I will say that King's Landing, as much as I enjoyed it..It did feel a bit
lonely without Tywin, Varys and Petyr Baelish. You can only have so much of Cersei at one
time, even if her small flashback scene was cool. I'm not saying it was boring but it
didn't have enough of the colorful characters from before to make it even more interesting
like it was before. If that makes sense. I did like that they brought back two characters
from previous seasons and gave them more to do and the whole thing with Qyburn and the
zombie mountain was also good. If I had to nitpick...I didn't really like the helmet.
In the books, you kind of get the feeling that this new kingsguard is the Mountain but
not really it's left to us to imagine it based on Martin'sdescription....in the show...they
could've made his helmet a bit more ominous and brutal instead of giving him a modified
kingsguard helmet. But once again overall, King's Landing: Good stuff.
Okay so I noticed that a lot of Game of Thrones Youtubers who reviewed this season did not
like Arya in Bravos which I find a little a weird because I loved her this season. Her
journey there was a little ominous and mysterious which I thought was great. Sure there was
one or two boring moments but the majority of it was good. You'll always have those book
fans who complain over the slightest change but I did like that it was Meryn Trant who
got fucked up. But...the one thing I will say that I thought was a mistake was bringing
back Jaqen H'ghar. I said this before in my reviews and after binge watching season 5
I stand by it. I think it was a missed oppertunity to bring in another character that is just
as awesome. I was hoping for an old, kindly man, if you will. But ya it felt like a missed
oppertunity to get a new more badass person in there but oh well. And once again I hate
to brush over stuff like this but I don't have any major complaints. I thought it was
good and want to see Arya dive deeper into this organization. So overall I liked the
Arya storyline and want to see more of it and I hope they keep it up next season.
And finally we come to the stuff beyond Bravos in Mereen with Tyrion, Jorah and Dany's group.
Okay so...after coming off a fresh binge watch of season 5 I still stand by what I said before
that Tyrion and Jorah definitely need a buddy cop movie. I love these guys together. It's
mainly because Peter Dinklage brings a lot of life to the part and whenever hes interacting
with other characters? it's always a fun and interesting scene. While Ian Glen plays a
great Jorah, the character itself is a bit bland and Dinklage makes him a more enjoyable.
I would've liked to have seen Tyrion team up with Daario while they search for Dany
next season but that would've been too epic, of course. Also...can we please have more
dwarf cock references next season? seriously this needs to be a thing.
As for Daenerys and her group....I'm a bit disappointed that Barristan got killed off
so early on in the show. This is a just complaint from book readers and it annoys me a bit too
because we didn't see much of him and Dany talk about Rhaegar and the Targaryen dynasty
when he served under her father and her grandfather. You guys know me and I absolutely love when
characters talk about the past and the battles they've been in. Hell one of my favorite scenes
in season 1 was when Jaime tells Robert about how he killed the mad king. I love stuff like
that and it's a shame we only got a couple of scenes like that since he came back in
season 3. Would've liked more of it and I also wanted him to go down with more of a
body count too. Grey Worm was also taken out early on too but I thought was a little weird
but I was fine with it. I didn't like his little scenes with Missandei last season and
I'm fine that he wasn't around all that much. Daario is Daario, I have no issue with him,
I think the actor does a good job. I do hope we get to see him fight some more next season.
I do like when he throws down
As for Dany herself...hmmm...let me ask you guys this though, before I go into her. WINK.
Have you ever noticed how casual fans of the show never refer to her as Daenerys or Dany
but they usually refer to her as the Khaleesi? Has anybody ever noticed this or is it just
people I know. When I say casual fans I mean people who just watch the show on HBO and
that is it. They don't care about lore they just want to watch whats on screen.
Maybe it's just the people I know but yeah let me know below if this is a thing where
you guys are at too. But on to dragon fire lady...So if you saw my previous videos I
asked you guys whether or not you think Emilia Clarke is a good actress or not because I
couldn't tell. The reason I can't tell is because this kind of thing has happened before.
In the Star Wars prequels I couldn't tell whether Hayden Christensen was a bad actor
or just given bad direction...but as for Emilia Clarke? this has been answered for me in a
movie known as Terminator Genisys. My god she was so bleh and it didn't help that the
male lead, Jai Courtney, was also bleh.
I got hated on for saying that too. Some feminazis, not feminists, but the extreme version of
that, they got on my case because and I quote: I "can't handle a strong woman in power".
Believe me if you seen the last 3 girls that I dated you would think otherwise but it's
just that I don't Emilia Clarke is that good. It's weird, in season 1 I didn't mind her
all that much...maybe we should get Jason Momoa back in there to fuck her or something
because back then she was good and now it's like what the fuck happened.
Also whats with the no nudity clause in her contract....it makes some of her scenes a
little weird. Like when shes in bed with Daario she covers up and it kind of takes you out
of believing that these two are in a relationship. I mean fuck lady show some nipple or something.
We don't need ass or full bush, maybe a nipple or two to show that you two are actually doing
stuff. I will get a lot of hate for saying this but do you know who I think would've
made a good Daenerys Targaryen? 2003 version of Angelina Jolie. Back then, before Brad
ruined her life, she would've been great for the role. Hell she would be doing some crazy
naked backflips or something. But I'm sorry I'm getting off track here.
Dany had a couple of good scenes this season. I thought her inner awesomeness came out when
she fed that one guy to her Dragons. That was cool and I really liked it when she and
Tyrion sat down for a conversation. That was great. I also enjoyed the moment when she
sees Jorah in the fighting pits and they share this stare. That was also good but a lot of
the times it was Meeeh. The one scene I had a problem with was when Drogon appeared to
save them. I thought the scene where she gets on Drogon's back wasn't really well done.
For HBO CGI it's alright but I really wish they had shelled out some more cash for the
scene so it didn't look like Playstation 2 graphics. That's just me. But Dany and her
group could've been a bit better but it's still not as worse as Dorne.
So to close up this video because I'm sure you people have lives and probably hate me
by now...I'd give Game of Thrones Season 5 a rating of 4 out of 5. Which is higher than
what I gave it last season. There were a lot of good parts but the main issue I had with
this season were the lack of development in some areas, pacing and terrible choices in
terms of storyline decisions. The show loves giving characters who are useless more screen
time then characters who should be on screen some more. Many of you kept saying that "nothing"
was happening whenever you finished an episode and that is mainly because a lot of what we
saw has been done before and it ties in with the lack of development for characters. We
were led to believe that Sansa was this smarter, darker person but it turns out its a repeat
of what's been happening to her since season 2. The decision to cast the sand snakes and
the whole Dornish storyline was awful and what I just said, about the show not giving
crucial characters more screen time? We got no Doran, who was great but instead more Gilly
which makes no sense considering her book plotline won't be happening. Despite all these
problems, the show is still very entertaining. i enjoyed the increased focus on the Boltons
and a better look at Essos with Jorah and Tyrion.
I was disappointed that we barely got any Varys or Petyr Baelish in this season but
I hope they can make a comeback next time. One of this season's best moments was when
characters we were cheering for started to venture into the dark side a little. When
Stannis burned his daughter for a blessing and when Dany fed an innocent man to her dragons.
I love stuff like that. When the lines between good and evil are blurred and that the people
who we thought were the good guys have some flaws of their own. Jon Snow was doing a good
thing by saving those wildlings but he was a bit stupid when he neglected to consider
the blowback that would come from the Night's Watch.
But I've spoken for too long, give me your thoughts on this season. Let me know the pros
and cons and what you would like to happen next time Thanks for watching and a baba booey
to you all. have a good one.