FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT AS THE VERY FUNNY
COMEDIAN WHO STARRED IN THE "ANCHORMAN" MOVIES, "TALLADEGA
NIGHTS," AND "ELF."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. WILL FERRELL.
♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
YES, IT WILL ♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT ♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT.
♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪
( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )
LET DOWN.
>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S NICE-- IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU ON.
>> IT'S MY FIRST TIME.
TECHNICALLY.
AS MYSELF.
>> Stephen: YES.
THE FIRST TIME YOU CAME ON AS AN ANIMAL EXPERT.
>> AN ANIMAL EXPERT.
>> Stephen: YOU, AS WILL, BUT AN ANIMAL EXPERT.
>> ON YOUR LIVE SUPER BOWL SHOW.
AND IT WAS A VERY CALM ATMOSPHERE BACKSTAGE.
PEOPLE WERE SUPER CHILL.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT ADDS TO A LIVE SUPER BOWL SHOW?
ANIMALS.
ADD ANIMALS.
THAT CALMS EVERYBODY DOWN.
AND THEN YOUR FRIEND RON BURGUNDY CAME ON I THINK HE WAS
ON FOR 45 MINUTES.
>> WAS HE ON FOR THAT LONG.
>> Stephen: I THINK 45 MINUTES OF RON BURGUNDY WAS ON THE SHOW.
WE HAD TO CUT HIM DOWN AND WE SHOT THE TAPE WE DIDN'T USE INTO
SPACE.
>> YOU KNOW, WHEN HE LEFT THE STUDIO, HE WANDERED OUT ON TO
THE STREET AND SAID HELLO TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO WAS IN
THE AUDIENCE THAT NIGHT.
>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
>> HE JUST TALKED WITH THEM.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
HE'S A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
>> HE'S A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
THE PEOPLE DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM, THOUGH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I'M SURPRISED.
I'M SURPRISED.
>> BECAUSE I THINK HE HAD SOME SCOTCH WITH HIM THAT NIGHT.
>> Stephen: HE DID.
HE DID.
HE LOVES THE DELICIOUS SCOTCH.
>> AND HE ALREADY HAD A BUNCH OF SCOTCH PRIOR TO THAT MOMENT SO
HE WAS THREE SHEETS TO THE WIN.
>> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TO HAVE YOU ON.
IT'S NICE TO HAVE THE ACTUAL WILL FERRELL ON.
DO YOU ENJOY BEING WILL FERRELL?
DOES IT FEEL GOOD JUST TO BE WILL?
>> I LIKE BEING WILL FERRELL.
SURE.
I MEAN, WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, UHM, EVERY DAY CAN BE A
CHALLENGE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: ON SUNDAY-- >> YOU HAVE A MISSHAPEN HEAD.
>> Stephen: OH, NO, NO!
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: NO!
YOU'RE-- >> PINEAPPLE HEAD THEY USED TO
CALL ME AT SCHOOL.
>> Stephen: WILL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: TO SOMEONE.
>> TO.
SOMEONE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE.
ON SUNDAY, YOU PRESENTED WITH OUR DEAR FRIEND JULIE
LOUIS-DREYFUS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YEAH, WE DID THE OSCAR S.
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS LOOKED AMAZING.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SO GLAMMUOUS.
>> SHE'S THE BEST.
>> Stephen: SHE'S FANTASTIC.
I WISH SHE COULD HAVE STUCK AROUND FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.
SHE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT.
>> SHE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT.
>> Stephen: SHE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT.
>> BECAUSE TONIGHT'S WEDNESDAY.
( LAUGHTER )
I KNOW MY CALENDAR.
>> Stephen: WAS THIS A FUN NIGHT?
>> IT ONLY TAKES ONE.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE.
IT WAS A FUN NIGHT.
IT WAS SO GLAMOROUS.
LET ME -- >> Stephen: TALK ME THROUGH
THE GLAMOUR.
>> LET ME SET THE STAGE.
HAD TO PRESENT AT 6:45.
WAS THERE AT 6:15.
WAS HOME EATING A SLICE OF PIZZA WITH A BEER IN MY HAND AT 7:05.
THAT'S -- >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
( APPLAUSE )
THAT'S THE GLAMOR OF HOLLYWOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN TO THE OSCARS MANY TIMES.
>> I HAVE.
I'VE BEEN MANY TIMES.
AND -- >> Stephen: DO YOU REMEMBER
THE FIRST TIME?
WHAT WAS THE-- >> THE FIRST TIME, I DON'T-- I
MUST HAVE BEEN PRESENTING SOMETHING.
I THINK WE JUST GOT INVITED TO GO.
MY WIFE AND I WERE LIKE, "WE GOTTA GO."
>> Stephen: LEGALLY YOU HAVE TO GO.
>> LEGALLY, YOU HAVE TO-- IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE HOLLYWOOD
SHOW BIZ COMMUNITY, YOU HAVE TO GO.
IT'S LIKE JURY DUTY.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> AND YOU CAN ONLY PUT IT OFF SO LONG BEFORE --
>> Stephen: YOU CAN DEFER ONCE.
>> POINTS ON YOUR LICENSE.
>> Stephen: AFTER THAT YOU DON'T GET TO VOTE UNLESS YOU GO.
>> EXACTLY.
WE HAVEN'T AND VIV WAS NINE MONTHS PREGNANT.
>> Stephen: HERE?
>> YES.
WITH OUR FIRST SON, MAGNUS.
AND THERE WE WERE ON THE RED CARPET.
AND THAT'S NOT MY HAND ON HER STOMACH.
( LAUGHTER )
IN?
>> SOMEONE REACHING IN.
>> Stephen: RAUL JULIA.
>> RAUL JULIA REACHING IN.
AND I HAD TOLD HIM BEFOREHAND-- BECAUSE HE SAID, "I CAN TOUCH
YOUR WIFE'S BELLY?" AND I SAID, "RAUL, NOT THE TIME
OR PLACE.
NOT APPROPRIATE."
AND HE DID IT ANYWAY.
BUT THEY HAD AN AMBULANCE STAND BUYING READY TO GO.
>> Stephen: FOR YOU GUYS?
>> FOR US.
>> Stephen: FOR REAL.
>> JUST IN CASE.
>> Stephen: HOW PREGNANT ARE WE TALKING HERE?
>> I THINK MAGNUS WAS BORN THREE DAYS LATER.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> SO VIV WAS A TROUPER.
>> Stephen: A TOTAL TROUPER TO GO.
>> HERE WAS AN AMAZING, A GREAT HOLLYWOOD MOMENT.
YOU FINALLY GET TO GO TO THE OSCARS, YOU'RE ALL DRESSED UP,
YOU'RE EXCITED, THE RED CARPET, IT'S MORE PHOTOGRAPHERS THAN YOU
CAN EVER IMAGINE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND THEY'RE SCREAMING YOUR NAME, "WILL!
WILL!
OVER HERE!
WILL, OVER HERE!" AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE
CAMERAS.
YOU CAN'T LOOK ANYMORE MORE DIRECTLY THAN YOU ARE LOOKING.
AND I'M LIKE, "I'M LOOKING AT YOU.
I'M LOOKING."
"WILL!
OVER HERE!
WILL!
OVER HERE."
I'M LIKE, "I'M LOOKING AT YOU!
I'M LOOKING."
AND I FINALLY LOOK TO MY LEFT, AND IT'S WILL SMITH.
( LAUGHTER )
AND WE JUST STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WONDERFUL.
>> AND JUST LET'S GETS OUT OF HERE.
LET'S GO.
>> Stephen: THEY'VE GOT ENOUGH OF US.
>> THEY'VE GOT ENOUGH OF US.
THEY WANT THE REAL WILL.
YEAH GLP NOW, WE WERE TALKING WITH JULIA LAST NIGHT ABOUT THE
NEW FILM "DOWNHILL."
YOU PLAY HUSBAND AND WIFE IN THAT.
AND SHE EXPLAINED LAST NIGHT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE.
SO I THINK-- I THINK IT'S LEGAL FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED
WHAPS.
SHE TOLD IT FROM THE WIFE'S POINT OF VIEW.
COULD YOU EXPLAIN IT FROM THE HUSBAND'S POINT OF VIEW WHAT
HAPPENED.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THE EVENT NEAR THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE THAT SETS
THE WHOLE THING ROLLING, FROM THE HUSBAND'S POINT OF VIEW.
WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT HAPPENED?
>> FROM THE HUSBAND'S POINT OF VIEW, WE'RE HAVING LUNCH, FIRST
DAY OF OUR SKI TRIP, AT A SKI CHALET, MIDMOUNTAIN, OUTSIDE, A
BEAUTIFUL SPOT, THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE SHOULD ORDER, EAT A
LIGHT MEAL, SAVE ROOM FOR A SNACK LATER?
BUT I'M TRYING TO GET ON THE MOUNTAIN, I'M TRYING TO PLAN THE
DAY.
LET'S GO SKI THE BEAST, MAYBE, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED "THE BEAST."
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE, YEAH.
>> AND I'M TRYING TO GET THE TRAINS MOVING, WHEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN, AN AVALANCHE HITS.
>> Stephen: A CONTROLLED AVALANCHE.
>> A CONTROLLED AVALANCHE BUT IT LOOKS REAL ENOUGH.
AND I REMEMBERED IN THAT MOMENT THAT I HAD A PHONE CALL I HAD TO
TAKE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SO I-- I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE NOTICED.
I TRIED TO DELICATELY LEAVE WITH MY CELL PHONE AND JUST SAUNTER
OFF.
( LAUGHTER )
COVERED IN ICE AND SNOW.
BUT THEY'RE FINE.
ONLY TO COME BACK AND SEE THAT-- YEAH, I-- I DIDN'T GET TO MY
PHONE.
I DIDN'T GET TO MY CALL.
>> Stephen: SO YOU ABANDONED YOUR FAMILY.
>> AND THEN I REALIZED LATER I'VE ABANDONED MY FAMILY.
AND THEN I SIT DOWN.
>> AND ORDER SOUP.
( LAUGHTER )
FROM THERE.
>> IT PROCEEDS FROM THERE.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A FAIR AMOUNT OF TENSION BETWEEN YOU
AND JULIA THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE CRAZY THING ABOUT THIS.
I FOUND OUT-- AND IS THIS TRUE-- THAT YOU GUYS MET EACH OTHER
DURING THIS MOVIE.
YOU GUYS HADN'T MET BEFORE.
>> WE HADN'T MET BEFORE.
>> Stephen: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
I HAVE MET HER BEFORE.
>> YEAH IS THERE AND YOU'RE WILL FERRELL.
I HAD DINNER WITH HER.
AND HOW DID I BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH TO MEET JULIE
LOUIS-DREYFUS.
>> AND HERE'S THE CRAZY THING EYE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE
LOOKED LIKE.
( LAUGHTER )
GOING, "JULIA!" AND SEE WHO TURNS AROUND.
>> NO, WE WERE MEETING-- WE WERE HAVING LUNCH IN A HOTEL SO I
JUST HAD HER PAGE GLD DID SHE MATCH UP WHAT YOU HAD IN YOUR
MIND?
>> NO, I JUST SAID, "THAT'S NOT HER."
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YEAH, OKAY.
BUT HOW-- HOW DID YOU NOT MEET?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: YOU BOTH WORKED AT NBC AT THE SAME TIME.
ISN'T THERE, LIKE, A CENTRAL PLACE WHERE YOU PEOPLE MEET.
>> YOU THINK THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN-- YOU THINK THERE WOULD
HAVE BEEN SOME SORT OF, LIKE, GROUP BONDING, OUTWARD BOUND--
>> Stephen: EVERY MONTH EVERYBODY AT CBS--
>> DO YOU DO AN OFFSITE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> WHERE DO YOU GO?
>> Stephen: SUN VALLEY.
EVERYONE WHO WORKS AT CBS.
>> ALWAYS SUN VALLEY.
>> Stephen: ALWAYS SUN VALLEY.
>> SAME PLACE, SAME RESORT?
>> Stephen: YEAH, BOUGHT THEY DON'T TELL US WHERE IT IS, WE
HAVE TO FIND EACH OTHER.
>> WHAT TIME OF YEAR IS IT.
>> Stephen: WHAT TIME OF YEAR IS IT?
ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS.
ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS WE GO.
SO IT'S A DIFFERENT SEASON-- >> THAT WOULD BE FUN TO CRASH
THE CBS OFFSITE, WOULDN'T IT?
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
YOU WANT TO COME?
>> GUEST SPEAKER?
>> Stephen: SURE, THIS NEXT ONE IS THIS WEEKEND.
>> VALENTINE'S WEEKEND.
>> Stephen: THIS VALENTINE'S WEEKEND.
YES.
>> I HAVE A SO, TOURNAMENT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE WHAT?
>> A SOCCER TOURNAMENT.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU PLAYING, OR YOUR KIDS PLAYING?
>> I WISH.
I WOULD CRUSH THOSE KIDS.
( LAUGHTER )
NO, IT'S 10-YEAR-OLDS.
>> Stephen: 10-YEAR-OLDS?
YOU COULD TAKE THEM.
YOU COULD 100% TAKE THEM.
>> EVERY TIME I WATCH, I'M LIKE, GOD, I WOULD SCORE 10 GOALS A
GAME.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
YOU KNOW, "COACH SAYS MISS THE BALL.
DON'T MISS YOUR MAN."
>> THANK YOU, I'M GOING TO USE THAT.
>> Stephen: KICK CHILDREN.
>> I'M GOING TO YELL THAT FROM THE SIDELINES.
>> Stephen: NOW, CAN WE GET BACK TO THE MOVIE JUST FOR A
SECOND?
>> WELL, HERE'S THE THING...
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: IS THERE IS THRS A CLIP.
>> YEAH, THERE IS A CLIP.
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS CLIP RIGHT
HERE?
I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE AND I REALLY ENJOYED THE MOVIE--
>> THIS IS THE CLIP WHERE WE ARE ARE CHECKING INTO THE HOTEL,
JUST ARRIVING THERE, AND WE COME ACROSS THE KIND OF CONCIERGE,
WHO -- >> Stephen: PLANNED BY MIRANDA
OTO.
>> PLAYED BY MIRANDA OTO, AND IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF THE
AMERICANS-AUSTRIANS FISH OUT OF WATER.
>> Stephen: SHE'S INTRODUCING YOU TO THE EUROPEAN PARTY
LIFESTYLE.
>> PARTY LIFESTYLE, EXACTLY.
>> THE BODY, IS NOT TO BE ASHAMED OF.
>> SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
>> EVERYBODY IS GOOD, CELEBRATED.
>> OKAY, YES.
I WILL FOR SURE DO THAT.
>> BOTH.
>> YEAH, YEAH, NO, NO QUESTION, WE'LL CELEBRATE.
>> I AM HERE AS FRIEND, YA?
DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?
>> OH, SURE.
>> THEN WE ARE FRIENDS.
>> OH, GREAT, WONDERFUL.
OKAY.
>> OH!
>> SORRY!
>> THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WILL WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK,
OKAY?
WOULD YOU STAY RIGHT THERE, PLEASE?
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE WILL FERRELL, EVERYBODY.