This is about really thinking about what are justly doing the things that you love to do that just calm down
We're not going. Hey guys welcome back. Thanks for joining me this week so this week
I got a lot of messages from people a ton of people were asking me
Just for some tips and guidance on the fact that they felt like they had really lost themselves in
their last relationship
And they wanted some insight on you know how do I begin to?
Get back to who I used to be and I know that this is definitely a huge concern for people when they end relationships
Regardless of how the relationship ends, you know how do we we lost ourselves a little bit there?
Whether it's towards the end of a relationship when it was kind of dissolving or throughout the whole relationship
You know we just lost ourselves, and we don't know who we are anymore
And we want to get our confidence back and really be in a really great place and so in this video
I wanted to give you some tips and things to think about so if you yourself feel this way you can start
regaining your confidence and really get yourself back to
Not who you used to be because you'll never be that person again because now you know life has happened in
experiences and lessons and hopefully
We're always learning and growing and we're becoming a better version of ourselves a healthier version of ourselves
But we want to get to a place we want to become
The best person we can be with who we are in this moment and the information that we know so
Let's get right into this week's video so the first thing that
Will help you if you feel like you have really lost yourself in that last
Relationship is to get back to what you love to do now this sounds very simple
but the fact of the matter is this is more than just you know going out and shopping by yourself for a day or
You know going to your buddy's house and just hanging out or having a couple of beers while you watch the football game
This is about really thinking about. What are the things that you really love to do?
What do you love to do and doing them?
So if you love cooking then you need to get in the kitchen
And do the things that fill you up inside the things that make you tick the things that make you who you are
You know it's so important to remember who we are right now because if you feel like you've lost yourself
then that means that you don't know who you are right now and
Understanding well what are the things that make me tick?
What are the things that make me happy you know do I love going for hikes?
And if there's no one around I go for a hike by myself
Do I love playing basketball do I love golfing?
Maybe I can go and hit some golf balls or round up a couple people and go
Play you know 18 holes or whatever, or if I love going to the spa or?
if I love painting or reading or you know working on a hobby that I just kind of started or sewing or
You know doing carpentry and building things whatever it is
Just finding the things that you love to do that make you who you are and doing them
That is so
Important because when you're doing something that you genuinely love to do that is actually self
Nurturing and that's showing yourself self-love
That's really taking care of yourself because you're setting aside time for
yourself
To do the things that you love to do
And that's really important just like doing the things that you love to do that just come
Naturally to you the second part of this is you have to get out of your comfort zone
So many people will ask me how do I build confidence in myself you know?
I lost my confidence in my last relationship, and I don't really know how to get it back
and I'm nervous to do online dating because I've you know a
really bad past
Experience that I'm just coming out of and one of the things I always tell people when they want to learn how to gain self-confidence
Is of course I always focus on your self-talk doing affirmations
learning where your thoughts come from learning how to monitor your thoughts and
Replacing them with positive and healthy stock thoughts and this is where the affirmations and the meditations help
But the other thing is you have to do things that scare you you have to do things that are
Stretching yourself that are challenging yourself because if you never get out of your comfort zone. There's only so much
You know positive self-talk we can say to ourselves and then that talk has to actually
Us to take action, and if we're not taking action on anything and we're on ever getting out of our comfort zone and really
Challenging ourselves to do certain things then we're not growing and I know Tony Robbins says this a lot
And it's really true when we're growing and we're challenging ourselves
And we're we're taking those little steps these don't have to be big huge leaps
They're just little steps to get you out of your comfort zone
You feel like you're making progress you feel happier and more content with your life because you feel like you're progressing in life
And you're not just standing still so
Getting out of your comfort zone means what is something that I may be always wanted to do that
I haven't done, and why haven't I done it and most likely it's because of fear and things of that sort but
Really saying okay? You know I've always wanted to get into shape and I have never done it and I know for me
That was a big challenge for me
I always wanted to work out I always have the drive or I always have the desire to work out
But I didn't have the drive and I always let those fear
Thoughts kind of take over and prevent me from just going to the gym
Because I thought well you know I don't know how to use the equipment
And I don't know what I'm doing and I'm gonna look like a fool when in fact
I literally started by just going for a walk around the block. I said okay
I'm gonna go for a walk around the block and I
Stretched myself a little and I got bored with being at that
Spot that then I stretched myself even further and that's how you start building confidence in yourself is by saying okay?
What what I love to do?
That I know scares me, but how can I do it where I'm taking steps at a time?
And I'm not just jumping into something because that seems more overwhelming than you just saying okay
I'm gonna make a little bit of progress at a time, so if there's something a hobby or a new career or
You know really anything that you've always wanted to do figure out what it is, and then figure out. Okay? Well how can I just?
Step, you know what I toe into it to get myself comfortable with then taking another step
So it's all about progress and challenging yourself to get yourself out of your comfort zone that will give you
the most confidence that you can
ever
imagined really because you're proving to yourself that you can do it that you can take those steps and that you're not scared and you're
Not fearful, that's the best thing that you can do for yourself in terms of getting yourself back to a better version of yourself
So the next thing is you have to remember who you are
Now when I talk about attracting a healthy partner into your life or when I talk about healthy dating
And I always say you know make a list of what you're looking for in a partner
You know I want him or her to have these character traits
Or you know whatever your list
and it's very very detailed list and
then we always think about you know how we want to feel when we're with the right person so and that's
So important towards finding a healthy partner because if you don't know how you want to feel
Then you won't know when you're actually meeting the right person, and then you really just take whatever comes your way
So that's absolutely so important
But for this remembering who you are is you need to make a list not only of what it is
You're looking for in a partner and all the traits that they have but you need to make a list on all the traits that
you have or even some of the traits or things that you would like to have or or
Work on within yourself or get better at and I think that's so
Important is to make that list a list of who you are
And you read that list every single day and everything on that list as you're reading it you really feel
that
That feeling so if you're an honest person and you're caring and you're thoughtful
Really sit in that and love yourself through that thought of you thinking it about yourself
You know and how nice it makes you feel that you are a caring person
And you are a generous person that's self loving and actually that is you doing positive
affirmations which kind of leads me into the next thing I can't stress how
important it is to constantly be feeding your mind, and you know I am I'm a life coach and I
Have done this stuff for years now, and I still do it
You know this stuff is a constant practice and it's become just a part of my life
So just like some people going to the gym as a part of their life, or you know
Doing whatever you know waking up and running a mile or waking up and just these
Habits that we have in our lives that we do that are healthy for us
listening to videos and feeding my mind and reading books and
Going to workshops and and still investing in my own self regardless of me coaching anyone else
Investing in myself as well is a part of my life, and when you do affirmations
And you do meditations, and you listen to tapes throughout the day you are constantly feeding your mind
And it is so so important
And I literally can't stress it enough it is
probably one of the biggest things that you could ever do for yourself and the reason why it's
One of the best things that you can do for yourself is because there are gonna
Be times especially when you're coming out of you know a bad breakup, and you feel like you've lost yourself
And you're just you know you're you're in the dumps you're down in the dumps
You don't remember who you are you feel like you've lost yourself. You're feeling hopeless you're feeling depressed
You know you're nervous about the future just all of these
Feelings you know we're going from being in a relationship to being single all of these things
it's and it's healthy and it's necessary to constantly be feeding your mind with the thoughts that you're not thinking because you're
knee-deep
And you have to understand that your mind has habits and programs and essentially is a tape and that tape that's playing right now is
Causing you to have self-doubt to not have confidence in yourself to feel like you really lost yourself, and you're in this
process or period of
Really feeling like you're all over the place and in order to kind of grab everything and reel it back in and take charge
Of your thoughts in your mind you have to feed it's something you have to feed it
Good information, so it's just like if you wanted to go work out and you wanted this amazing body
Well, you can't eat the potato chips and drink the soda and smoke the cigarettes
And you know eat all of this fried food you have to feed your body with the nutrients it needs
So when you do start working out?
You have you know
Nutrients and vitamins that are actually working within your body to get your body to where you want it to be and it's the same
Thing with your mind the next thing is you have to start focusing on
What do you want your life to be so what are your goals? What's your purpose in life? What are your dreams?
What do you want to get out of life?
What what do you really want and that's really important because so often people go through life
And they don't know who they are they don't know what they want and they don't even know where to begin
but just begin with what will make you happy if you could just snap your fingers and say this is the goal I want and
I'm gonna achieve it what goal will that be if you could say this is what I want my life to be like what what?
Do you what does it look like to you?
You know if you want to find your purpose in life, then start doing the work to get you there to figure out
Well, what will really make me happy and diving into?
Self-development and all of these things and learning about who you are and really loving yourself
You will get to what you should be doing in life and really feel that fulfillment
So if you want to get back to who you are you need to also
understand that you're trying to create a new life for yourself now and
It doesn't necessarily mean dating it. Just means what will make you happy
Because if you're not happy and you're not
Fulfilled and you're not in a good good spa and a healthy spa you're not going to attract the relationship that I know
You really desire we can go out anyone can grow up tomorrow and find a relationship
Or you know find a job, or you know find a group of friends, but if you're watching this then
Most likely you are person that is a quality
Person and you want to be happy, but you need to really understand in your mind. What is happiness to you?
What does it look like? What are the goals that I want to set for myself?
Where do I want my life to be and really start slowly getting yourself in that mindset of?
Understanding, what do you really want on a life?
That's really really important the next thing is you know don't just talk about what you want start taking action
It goes back to getting out of your comfort zone the more you can be really clear on what it is that you want
The more you can start slowly
Taking action towards getting there and again if you're not the type of person that likes to just dive into the water you like to
Kind of test the water first that's fine
It's just a matter of getting up and actually doing something and taking steps to progress to get you back to
Not who you used to be but a better version of yourself
We don't ever want to be an older version of ourselves we want to be a better version of ourselves we want to you know
Maybe get back to who we once were in terms of things that we enjoy doing and what makes us tick inside
But we really want to get to a better happier healthier version of ourselves so the last thing is
invest in yourself and this is
absolutely huge because if you want to be happy if you want a healthy relationship if you want to have a
career that is fulfilling
And you make money and you want happiness and peace and contentment and you want that spark back that used to have within yourself
You just want a great light you have to invest in yourself
None of this stuff is just you snap your fingers, and you get it it
Just doesn't work that way so if you want to be happy
and then you need to invest in doing the things that will get you there and
Understand that if you're coming out of a relationship, and you feel like you've lost yourself. This is gonna take time
This is your in boot camp right now, and we're working really hard to get you back to
Not who you used to be but a better version of yourself
but you have to invest in yourself you have to invest the time and the money to go to workshops to
You know go to seminars to you know hire a coach and really invest the time and money
It's your so decide yourself that you're done that you want to be happy you deserve to be happy
Then you will stop at nothing when you don't have a higher standard for yourself
You won't invest the time and the money
So I hope that this has helped anyone out there that is struggling if they feel like they really have lost their selves in
their last relationship you a hundred percent
Can not only get yourself back but become a better version of solve
And that's the goal we don't want to be who we used to be before that relationship because that relationship
Changed us it taught us some things that we needed to learn it was brutal. It was painful
It was happy at times there was all of these things that has helped create the person that is watching this tape today
So I hope that this has helped you guys out there to kind of motivate you and inspire you to
Do the things that you know you need to do to get yourself to where you want to be so again?
Thank you guys so much for all of the love and comments and feedback and if any of you have any questions
Please don't forget to leave them in the comment section below
Don't forget to give this video a thumbs up if you liked it, and I will see you next week