Howard Stern has gotten under a lot of celebrities' skin, earning him plenty of enemies over the
years.
"Yeah, what do you say, eh?
I'd do anything for ratings, eh?"
Here's a look at all of the celebs who just can't stand the veteran shock jock.
​Dolly Parton was 'humiliated'
You can't argue that Howard Stern and his crew have a tremendous gift for rubbing people
the wrong way and often at the most inopportune of times.
"...potentially more than a million people would be on the move."
"Would you bang Howard Stern?"
"All right, well…there we go."
Well, you can add country singer Dolly Parton to the long and illustrious list of celebrities
who simply can't abide the sharp-toothed shock jock.
Here's what the usually high-spirited "9 to 5" singer had to say in response to a 2008
segment on The Howard Stern Show that spliced and rearranged snippets of an audio book she'd
narrated.
"I have never been so shocked, hurt, and humiliated in all my life."
During the sleazy segment, Parton's words were painstakingly reshuffled into a pronouncedly
perverted monologue that made it sound like the music legend was spewing ridiculously
racist remarks and alternately having some sort of carnal meltdown.
"Dolly Parton is mad and threatening a lawsuit against shock jock Howard Stern."
Our strident moral code prevents us from sharing most of the segment with you, but if you simply
can't resist, the whole thing can be found easily enough online.
"The section about Linda Ronstadt is the least offensive part."
"Linda Ronstadt is a really fat, tubby piece of s---."
Billboard reported that the usually unflappable Parton was furious enough to issue a statement
about Stern's unseemly schtick, writing that she simply couldn't believe what he'd cooked
up.
"If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this…I am completely
devastated by this."
Of course, Stern didn't immediately drop everything to get down on his knees and beg forgiveness.
As The Boot reports, he shrugged off the controversy in a subsequent episode of his show, stating
that:
"It's obviously parody and it's funny as hell."
As for Pardon's lawsuit, Stern said he really didn't think Parton had any sort of, quote,
"actionable case, but bring it on."
Sam Smith "can't believe" it
Talk about a mixed message.
During a 2015 broadcast of his radio show, Howard Stern called pop star Sam Smith the,
quote, "male Adele," and claimed he loved the performer…but Stern evidently wasn't
quite so keen on the Grammy winner's physical appearance.
According to Us Weekly, the cringe-fest began when Stern said:
"You know what I like about the guy?
He's an ugly motherf---er.
He's fat."
Well, it's certainly a roundabout way to express your fandom, isn't it?
And Stern was apparently just getting started:
"I like that he's chubby and gay.
That's why I love him."
As supportive fans rallied behind Smith on social media, the "Stay with Me" singer struck
back on Twitter, referring to Stern's tirade in two extremely terse tweets:
"Can't believe what I've just read."
And then, simply:
"Ignore."
Andy Dick's disgusting diatribe
Well, this one is all kinds of terrible.
In August 2011, troubled comedian Andy Dick hit new depths of depravity during an appearance
on The Greg Fitzsimmons Show.
"I'm trying to poke at him."
"Yeah, I see that."
"I'm mad at him.
He's just, just, I don't think he's a man of his word."
According to Radar Online, Dick went on a wildly anti-Semitic diatribe about Howard
Stern because he was reportedly upset that the shock jock hung up on him when he called
into The Howard Stern Show back in March 2011.
Beyond that, Dick reportedly didn't think Stern stuck up for him enough when his own
radio show was squashed, complaining that:
"For two years I did the show, never got a cent."
Beyond calling Stern, quote, "money-grubbing" and "miserly," everything else Dick said is
pretty much unquotable here.
Stern struck back at Dick on a subsequent broadcast:
"Well, Andy…Andy's run out of friends."
He also added:
"Stop looking for handouts, you f---ing wacko."
'Slimeburger to the max!'
Shall we play a game?
According to the Chicago Tribune, the 1994 trivia book Sternmania asked readers to guess:
"What intelligent talk-show host called Stern 'a slimeburger to the max?'"
Don't worry: We can definitely answer that one for you.
According to Howard Stern's official website, the firestarting shock jock was interviewed
by comedian Arsenio Hall back in the 1980s, and as you'll see, the segment wasn't exactly
smooth sailing.
In fact, the whole interview was intensely awkward from start to finish: Here's how Hall
introduced Stern:
"Let's welcome the meanest, nastiest, dirtiest DJ in the whole wide world, my man, Mr. Howard
Stern."
Well, Stern didn't seem to be particularly happy about that.
Shortly after sitting down, he asked Hall:
"How's it feel to be part of a failing show?
How long before you get the pink slip?
I mean, what, you're carrying this on you?
You know, Eddie, you are great, man."
Stern claims that he was escorted from the studio almost immediately after he filmed
the tense segment.
In his bestselling 1993 memoir Private Parts, he wrote:
"Just because I trashed [Rupert] Murdoch, the Fox network, and Arsenio was no reason
for me to be thrown out of a building."
In that memoir, Stern also recounts how Hall ridiculed him on TV a few nights later, in
what Stern called,
"...the lamest monologue ever."
During the bit, Hall reportedly said Stern is, quote, "the reason why a lotta women are
gay" and referred to him a,
"...a slimeburger to the max."
In case you thought Stern appreciated that particular sentiment, he makes his feelings
quite plain in Private Parts:
"You call this comedy?
What a monologue!"
Chet Haze will 'hurt' Stern
In 2015, the media was wasting lots of perfectly good ink on Chester Hanks, son of actor Tom
Hanks.
Performing under the stage name "Chet Haze," the entertainer fancies himself an extraordinarily
hardcore rapper, and liberally spews the N-word on social media under the pretense of championing,
quote, "free speech."
As People reported, Howard Stern routinely skewers Haze, once inferring that the young
Hanks was,
"...stealing…black culture."
Well, Haze didn't particularly appreciate Stern's point of view, and promptly struck
back at Stern in a series of now-deleted tweets, writing:
"...only old people listen to you[.]
The young generation doesn't know you."
According to Radar Online, Stern's mockery of the wannabe rapper spans as far back as
February 2011, when he sniped:
"And where'd he grow up, Beverly Hills?"
"Yes, you know, that real, you know, gang-infested neighborhood."
But the animosity reportedly reached a fever pitch in 2015, after Stern threatened to tweet
Tom Hanks and tell him to cut off his son's allowance.
"By the way, a lot of people don't know it, but Tom Hanks lives in Compton."
In turn, Haze threatened to physically attack Stern in a since-deleted tweet:
"I am going to assault you when I see you.
You can't run from me forever knock knees."
To add to all of this abject terror, Haze even included a gun emoji in one of those
tweets, apparently indicating that he meant business.
Very scary and very hardcore business, indeed.
Russell Crowe: 'Bench press' brouhaha
In March 2017, a photo of actor Russell Crowe began making the rounds.
You see, the photograph in question features Crowe kicking around a rugby ball while enjoying
a spot of warm weather in Australia.
Judging by the image, it looked like Crowe might have packed on one or two pounds since
starring in the 2012 thriller L.A Confidential.
Rather predictably, the tabloids had an absolute field day, with Page Six going so far as to
nickname the Gladiator star,
"Maximus drink-imus."
"But now there's a high profile war of words playing out on Twitter between two very famous
men."
As multiple outlets reported, Howard Stern jumped into the fray and called out Crowe's
physique on his radio show:
"Russell Crowe, like this guy, y'know, really in shape, good-looking guy.
Now he's like a big fatso."
Once Stern's harsh comments were brought to Crowe's attention by a concerned Twitter follower,
the actor shot Stern down with a taunting tweet:
"I can bench press young Howard…he cannot say the same."
After so many people made a fuss about Stern's coarse comments, the radio host felt inclined
to set the record straight in a subsequent April broadcast:
"I didn't body-shame Russell Crowe!"
Well, just to be that way, let's go ahead and give Stern's original commentary another
listen:
"I've met him personally, very nice guy.
But he's big and fat."
Howard Stern vs. Larry King
Back in 2010, veteran talk show host Larry King used a Steppin' Out profile to air his
many grievances with a certain shock jock named Howard Stern.
As the New York Daily News reports, King said:
"...he's not tasteful at all…You go to the least common denominator and that's Howard
Stern."
Elsewhere in the profile, King reportedly claimed that Stern,
"...would like you to print that I called him a smock."
We think that King was trying to evoke another word…but honestly, who the heck knows?
Unfortunately for Stern, most of King's comments were far less ambiguous:
"I regard Howard Stern as worthless."
Of course, Stern wasn't about to let this stinging commentary go without making a nasty
comment himself.
He told the New York Daily News:
"He's a frog…an imp…a loser."
Oh, and judging by his response, Stern didn't get the whole "smock" thing, either:
"Is that something you wear when you paint?"
Stern's tongue-lashing continued when he said of King:
"...the man had one foot in the grave."
Hey, the high road isn't for everybody.
​Carnie Wilson felt fat-shamed
Stern's alleged fat-shaming wounded pop star and television personality Carnie Wilson.
According to People, the Wilson Phillips singer stopped by The Talk in 2017 and revealed her
deeply unpleasant experience on The Howard Stern Show back in 1999.
"So when I walked in, the producer Gary said, 'Oh, step right over here and wait for Howard.'
Well, I didn't know this but I was stepping on a scale."
Wilson claims that when she looked down, she found herself staring at her weight in, quote,
"red, big numbers".
Two-hundred and thirty-three pounds.
"And I was like, 'Oh god,' and all I could think was, 'Howard, ready to shame me?"
"They purposely did that?"
"They purposely did it."
Wilson says she stuck up for himself during the appearance, telling Stern:
"You know what, you're really a piece…"
But inside, she was dying.
"It was one of the worst experiences I ever had, I was so devastated and so embarrassed.
Humiliated really."
Steve Allen wasn't a fan
"I hope he's asleep.
Hello!"
On Oct. 30th, 2000, journalist Jon Kalish visited the Los Angeles office of Steve Allen,
the late comic and pianist best known as the creator and original host of Tonight Starring
Steve Allen, which eventually evolved into The Tonight Show.
As The New York Times reports, Allen dedicated a large chunk of the interview to lamenting
modern comics.
In his estimation, they were far too dependent on shock value when it came to administering
the guffaws.
As a chief example of the phenomenon, he focused a great deal of his ire on Howard Stern.
As the New York Daily News reports, Allen claimed that the shock jock had,
"...never in his whole life said anything the least bit witty or philosophically insightful."
He accused Stern of doing nothing but talking,
"...dirty, like some emotionally disturbed 14-year-old, asking women to pull up their
dresses…"
"A genuine TV phenomenon, Steve Allen has died."
As fate would have it, that happened to be Allen's very last interview, and his very
last day on Earth.
The veteran funnyman died only a few hours later, from what was initially suspected to
be a heart attack.
His cause of death eventually proved to be a ruptured blood vessel, caused by injuries
he'd sustained earlier that day in a minor car accident.
Jamie Foxx vs. 'Coward Stern'
In 2010, Howard Stern and Jamie Foxx had something of a SiriusXM smackdown.
According to The Daily Telegraph, the controversy was fueled by comments Stern made about actress
Gabourey Sidibe.
"And then you go, 'And there's the most enormous fat black chick I've ever seen, Gabourey Siday?"
"Zid-i-be, or whatever her name is."
"She is enormous, I mean..."
In response to Stern's comments, Foxx took jabs at the shock jock on his now-defunct
Foxxhole Radio channel, saying:
"I hope that this feud gets us hot, because Howard hasn't really made a big splash in
a long time."
As The Daily Telegraph reported, Stern struck back by seemingly insinuating that Foxx was
gay on his radio show.
"I know s--- about Jamie that maybe won't be so comfortable for him, and there's a lot
of weird s--- about Jamie."
Stern added:
"My guess is we're probably not on the same team.
I think he's playing for a way different team.
Okay?"
Foxx subsequently took great pains to reassert his heterosexuality:
"A lot of people say that I'm gay and that doesn't bother me."
In fact, he bragged about feeling so secure in his own sexuality that he could safely,
"...eat a pizza in a male shower and not feel anything."
Last but not least, he offered this zinger:
"I'm not gonna take that, Coward Stern.
I'm not gonna take that from a person who has chronic gonorrhea."
We're not at all sure who won this particular battle of wits.
Probably no one.
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