I'm having a weird hair day, man.
Today, we're talking about empaths.
What is an empath?
Is this even a real thing?
Or is this some spiritual mumbo-jumbo?
Is it just a way for people to feel superior to other people?
Well, let's talk about it.
Let's see.
So first of all, an empath--
it's pretty clear from the word itself--
is someone who is highly empathetic,
someone who is extra, hyper empathetic,
to the point where they feel other people's emotions.
They pick up on the vibrations of other people.
This isn't just normal empathy.
This is the kind of empathy where
you go to the very emotional state
that another person is in because you just
can't help but feel it.
Now, while many new age circles like
to talk about this kind of thing,
there is some science behind it because in your brain,
there are these things called mirror neurons.
And these are the things that are responsible for the--
what would you call it-- the emotion of empathy.
And what else would a mirror neuron do but mirror
the emotions of other people?
So when you see someone and they're crying
or they're happy, these neurons in your brain
start firing to make you feel along
the same lines as this other person.
So an empath has hyper sensitive, hyperactive mirror
neurons in their brain.
So yeah.
It is kind of a real thing.
It's the opposite of being a sociopath.
Their mirror neurons are not firing.
And so they just don't feel as much empathy as other people.
Now, does this mean an empath is a better person
than a normal Joe?
No, of course not.
But it does mean that they have a special ability that a lot
of people don't have.
And the point of this video is to go into this ability a bit
and to tell you that it's a bit more than I think
a lot of people think it is.
I think a lot of people just think, man, being an empath
just means I feel all this stuff.
And I'm so sensitive.
But there's more to it, OK?
If you are an empath, you are going
to want to watch this video because I've got some truth
bombs to drop on you.
Now, many empaths as children had boundary issues
with their parents and were probably told as kids
that boundaries weren't OK.
And this could be as simple as, go kiss your aunt Hilda.
No, mom.
I don't want to.
Go do it.
Be polite.
You better do it.
It could be that simple.
Or it could be something much more traumatic than that.
People who are empaths probably also
have some experience with their emotions not being OK.
Their parents telling them they can't be sad.
They can't have anger.
Furthermore, empathic children may
have been raised in a household where
their parents made the children responsible for the parent's
emotions.
And so the child had to fine tune
this ability that they were born with just
to stay afloat, to keep the peace in the house.
They had to be able to tell what's
going to get mom and dad upset.
And I better not do that.
I'd better be able to feel out exactly what emotional state
they're in so I can say just the right thing
to tiptoe around them.
Now, an empath might have gone through childhood just fine,
without any of those issues.
But if you did go through those things,
then it puts you at a disadvantage as an adult
because here you are as an adult,
and you've got these boundary issues.
You don't have boundaries anymore.
You think that boundaries are wrong.
When you pair this with being an empath, it's like, oh, man,
I'm feeling all these people's emotions.
And I feel responsible for their emotions.
And I don't have any boundaries.
So their emotions take precedence over mine.
And my life sucks.
I hate this.
To broaden it even further, I feel like all empaths probably
have this feeling like they don't belong in the world.
They realize that their sensitivity is not normal.
It's kind of weird.
Everyone else seems to be insensitive.
They're not bothered by all the pain and suffering
that is clearly around us.
And crap.
It appears that I was not made for this world.
What is wrong with me?
Somebody please help.
You can be so sensitive as an empath
that you might show signs of having gone through trauma,
and you haven't actually gone through trauma.
You've just gotten it through other people
because you felt their trauma.
You felt their bad experiences.
You've gone through their negative emotions.
It even gets to the point where you can't even watch TV.
You can't go to the movie theater.
You maybe can't even listen to the radio
because 21st-century American entertainment is not made
for sensitive, empathic people.
It's made to shock the senses and show really traumatizing
stuff all the time.
And so when you are an empath, you
feel freakish because it's like, why is everyone else enjoying
this violent movie, whereas I can only think about the terror
that the characters are going through?
And I'm feeling it, man.
And I feel like I'm getting traumatized by this story that
is clearly fake, fictional.
And sometimes, if you're an empath,
you might just feel like, I wish I wasn't this way because I
would just like to enjoy life like everyone else
and watch freaking Game of Thrones
and not feel like I was being traumatized by it.
Being an empath is not just about this passive receiving
of emotion.
But before I get to the second part of it,
let's support this channel a bit and see if YouTube
wants to show a commercial.
So as an empath, what you need to realize
is that it's not just about you being this hopeless, really
sensitive person who is just battered around
by everyone else's emotions.
No.
That's not it.
There's a second part to it.
The second part is this is a power, a superpower perhaps,
even, to be able to feel other people's emotions because what
that means is you can experience exactly what they're
experiencing and then help them to come out of it.
There's a good part to it, too.
If people are happy, you can be there with them in their joy.
But we always tend to focus on the negative, right?
So when people are in a bad place, when
they're really depressed, when they're anxious,
you can feel that.
You can be there right with them.
And theoretically, if you're feeling exactly what they're
feeling, you should know what to say,
what to do in order to comfort them
and in order to raise them up out of this into a better state
of mind, into a better emotion.
It's like they fell down into a cave somewhere.
And you as the empath, you heard their voice.
And you were able to follow down and find them.
And now, now that you're down there
in the darkness of the cave with them,
you can take them by the hand and lead them back out.
You can help them get out because you can meet them
where they are and then bring them back up.
Yeah.
That's right.
You're not helpless.
You don't just get dragged down to the state that they're at
and stay there.
No.
You have the power to help them out of it.
And if you are an empath who is only
using the first part of your ability, which
is to feel the emotion, and you're not then
taking the second step of using your power to help people,
you are not utilizing your full power.
What would be the point of this if we just felt other people's
emotions and that was it?
It would be absolutely the worst superpower ever.
Yeah, I feel other people's emotions.
It's great.
I feel sad.
I feel happy.
And that's about it.
It's this really internal thing.
No.
That's dumb.
Knowing that you must put this into action,
I'm sure a lot of you empaths, you
sensitive peoples out there are saying,
Frank, that would be great in theory.
But I am so sensitive that I hate going outside.
I don't like to leave my house.
It's too painful for me.
I know that I'm just going to go out there and be
bombarded with stuff that's going to make me feel awful.
And maybe you're even worried it's going to destroy me.
It's going to just tear me to bits
because when you're that sensitive,
the world can be a really scary place.
The problem is that when you go out
into the world with this feeling like you've
got to protect yourself, and you've
got to keep people at bay in order
to preserve your own emotions, you
are then going into the world with a spirit of resistance.
As you know, many philosophies are
based around this idea of not resisting.
A lot of suffering comes from resistance to reality.
And the reality is, other people have painful emotions.
And you're going to pick up on them.
And if you resist it, you're going
to make it worse than if you just went ahead and felt
those emotions.
Think of it like this--
and I'm stealing this from somewhere.
And I'm not sure where.
But think of it like this.
You can have a tree that's in the midst of a storm.
And it's this really tall tree that
doesn't give much in the wind.
It's very straight.
It resists the wind.
It's going to get blown over.
It's going to get uprooted.
But a tree that has more give to it, that sways in the breeze--
it might even be bending over all the way in the wind.
But it's not going to get uprooted because it's
going with the wind.
It's not resisting it.
That's how they build skyscrapers.
A skyscraper can sway 10 meters in the wind
because if it didn't do that, it would just snap off.
That would be weird.
So think of yourself like that tree
that is able to go with these emotions,
and it doesn't resist.
And yeah, it's not going to be fun.
I'm not saying that if you change your mind about this,
and go out there-- oh, all of a sudden, the sadness is great.
These negative emotions are fantastic.
I love it.
No.
It's still going to suck.
But it's going to be a lot easier when you don't resist it
because then it's like, you're being carried by it, yeah.
But at the end, you're back to being yourself.
You're not uprooted and destroyed by it.
It's like the emotions are just carrying you for a bit.
And then they're gone, rather than leaving
you permanently disfigured.
Now, I mentioned boundaries earlier.
This doesn't mean just give up your boundaries.
It also doesn't mean that establishing boundaries
for yourself is saying, I'm going to stay in my room
forever.
Healthy boundaries are saying, my emotions matter.
It's OK for me to have my own emotions.
And I don't need to feel like I have to prioritize
other people's emotions.
And I should go out, and I should help people.
I should be giving of myself.
But I don't need to sacrifice myself for other people.
So it's finding that balance.
Another image that I like to think of
is, think of yourself like a feather that is easily
carried around by the wind.
But the thing is, it's so light that it's not going
to get torn apart by the wind.
It's going to be able to hang with it, no matter
how turbulent it is.
And it's not like the feather is going
to get shattered against the ground or anything
because it's so light that at the end of it all,
it'll be fine.
It'll just float to the ground peacefully.
And it'll be just like it was beforehand.
But it doesn't resist.
It gets blown around by the wind.
Well, there's the truth about empaths.
Let me know in the comments if you think you're an empath
or what you think about this whole idea of someone who can
feel other people's emotions.
If you want to see another video about highly sensitive people
that's a little bit funny, you can click or tap the screen
right there.
If you want to see my video, "The 10 Secrets
of the INFJ Personality," click or tap the screen right there.
Thanks so much for watching.
I appreciate it.
Make sure you hit the Like button.
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And until next time, stay cool and attractive.