NARRATOR: It's the year 2022,
and Black people have had enough
of getting the cops called on them.
In a secret laboratory under 125th Street,
one scientist works tirelessly
to create a new superweapon.
One that will give white people
a taste of what Black people have to go through
on a daily basis.
It's alive. (laughing)
It's alive!
(coughs)
(thunder rumbling)
Time to call some cops.
♪ ♪
Thank you. Can I get one of these pickle dogs?
WOMAN: Of course. Oh, my gosh, please do.
Ah! What a great day for some barbecue.
That what you're gonna call this garbage?
I'm calling the police.
What? Uh, we're not doing anything wrong.
Hello. Police? Yes, I'd like to report
some white people with some nasty-ass food.
There's, uh, cilantro in the mac and cheese,
a slurry of salsa, and the chicken is just...
...wet. Not juicy. Just wet.
-And what are these? -Oh, mushroom kebabs.
They're vegan.
Bring the SWAT team. We gonna need backup.
And a stomach pump.
♪ ♪
Oh, shnookums.
Oh, yes. (kisses)
Mommy loves you so much.
Mommy loves you so much. Mmm.
Oh, you're a sweet boy. I love you so much.
Oh, my goodness.
You can't be kissing that dog on the mouth.
Hasn't that rescue been through enough?
Oh, he's not a rescue. I only buy.
You need to stop slobbering on this animal
before you make COVID-33.
Leave us alone. We're not harming anyone.
(gasps) You're assaulting me!
I'm not assaulting you. I'm just telling you to mind
-your own business. -That's the same thing to a Karen.
Hello? Police?
Yeah, some woman with puppy chow breath is coming right at me!
♪ ♪
♪ Can't stop loving you. ♪
(cheering, whooping)
(slurring): You guys always do this to me.
I'm gonna do it.
Maybe you have heard this little ditty.
Hit it.
(microphone turns off)
This is not... Aah!
Nuh-uh. I'm not letting you butcher "Sweet Caroline."
You don't even know that's what I was gonna sing.
You're white and you're drunk.
What else were you gonna sing, "WAP"?
(chuckles) I'm gonna have to report this.
For what? Singing karaoke's not a crime.
It is if it's bad enough.
Sing it.
-♪ Sweet... ♪ -Ah!
Hello, police?
These Caucasians are at it again!
♪ ♪
(stand-off music playing)
What are you doing in this expensive boutique?
What are you doing with all that jewelry in your purse
with the price tag still on 'em?
♪ ♪
-Police! -Police!
-(siren whooping) -(indistinct transmission)
This some bullshit! Gonna call the cops on you cops!
Hey. What'd they get you for?
Being a mad scientist?
I was selling bootleg DVDs.
People still buy DVDs?
You'd be surprised.
-Hmm. -(cheering and applause)