I'm gonna vlog it. Oh my god, my fucking pocket just got stuck in the door.
Vlogmas '18 Day 6 [Chirstmas music]
Six a.m. hunties
Wake up. People are gonna be like why are you waking them up at 6:00 a.m? That's so rude.
They asked me. They literally get mad at me if I don't wake them up, so.
Heyyy look at them. I asked if it was fine to vlog them and they said yes.
Christine: the bed smells bad. [Chase laughs]
Chase: Mike has this thing where he sweats
Mike: Stop ittt! [Chase laughs]
Chase: And like we all sweat, we all sweat. Look at that ass.
[Mike makes noise] [Chase laughs]
Chase: The thing with Mike though is that he smells like, like
Mike to Christine: Smell right here
[Christine makes noise] [Chase laughs]
Chase: It smells like rotten milk.
Mike: Chase. Chase: What? No.
Mike: Smells right here. Chase: Ohh nooo. He's making me smell...Where? Mike: Here.
[Chase gags and they both laugh]
Chase: Man you know what that is, oh my god, it's not rotten milk. It's apple cider vinegar.
Christine: Oh no. [Chase laughs] Christine: Gotta stop using it.
Chase: Cause you put it in everything. Christine: Everything.
Chase: So if you have any tips on how to make Mike's bed not smell so bad.
They have to change the covers the sheets every two days
I'm not even joking with that
Mike: That's is the only moment I smell bad.
Chase: I know you smell so good during the day. Like you never smell like B.O
You're like I didn't put deodorant on. I smell you, you smell so good.
I'm like this fucking...I put deodorant on I smell like shit.
Aww Beauty. There's so many animals.
My god, I think my lips are gonna fly off.
Loki. What a cute. I just want to slice him open. [Laughs]
[Cat purrs]
[Slight cat fighting noise] Slap that cooter.
Beau...That's why you get hair balls. Obsessively licking yourself. Meeeahahah
Chase: Mike? [Mike makes high pitch annoyed squeal]
Chase: Good luck on your exam. Mike: Thank you
Chase: Everyone say good luck to Mike on his exam. By the time this comes out though
You'll be done your exam. But then you have another exam.
Mike: No it's tomorrow, my exam.
Chase: Your exams tomorrow? okay, so
So say good luck. I'm gonna show you outside because the the
The moon is sliver
He has two exams engineers. Am I right?
So obviously
This will never do it justice because it looks darker in real life, but look at that moon it's a sliver.
It's sunrise hunties.
So it's 7AM and the grocery store is open. We don't have any frozen blueberries...or...umm..
Yogurt. Vegan yogurt or anything like that. So I'm gonna go to the store cause it opens at seven.
To get some stuff and it's nice and crisp outside
Like I love winter cuz I like the cold but sometimes it's like it slaps you in the face. It's so cool
but this is like
It's so crisp. It's so nice. Also, I'm just gonna say this. I feel like I look like I'm (Amelia ???) right now
Because of this fucking thing...bless.
Mike: Don't have a metro pass. Chase: I'm gonna get you a Metro pass. Oh, no. It stop.
Um Mike where we going? [Mike makes high pitched vaguely annoyed squeal]
So this is the weather where you have to be very fucking careful when you're walking because I
Slipped twice today while walking to therapy and back. Mike: twice
[Chase laughs] Mike: Dra ma tic
Chase: My therapist told me I'm dramatic today. Mike: Really?! Chase: No, I said it but she's didn't
Mike: She's so right. [Both laugh]
Chase: But she didn't correct me
We're going
I'm getting a revision done on my cat tattoo that I got like five years ago.
Mike: It's my name. He's tattooing my name.
On his cooter
Chase: My vagina muscles
Trigger warning that's what he says at the gym. I'm stretching out my vagina muscles
Mike: It hurts.
Chase: in front of everyone.
Mike: Sue me
[Jazzy Christmas music]
You know, I know that I'm putting
Music over this so you would think that he's singing an actual song, but he's just lip-syncing like he's not saying anything
[Same jazzy music but with some vocals]
Chase: So Mike keeps looking at people and
Saying "balegda" which is the beautiful vine that I reference and he references and we all reference. I'll put it right here. Oh
[Lady says something similar to "balegda". I don't know she's trying to say something with a Jamaican accent, but fails at it]
[Both repeat the vine]
[Chase says something in French and then they both sing]
Chase: Oh my god when I was walking here to get my other tattoo
There was a woman in there listening to Ed Sheeran on max
Mike: I'm okay with that.
[Chase laughs] Chase: I know I was like, you know what she's fucking living her best life man.
[Instrumental Chirstmas music]
Chase: It's disgusting. [Chase and Mike laugh]
Mike: Shaving the hairy shoulder.
[Same Christmas music]
Chase? Chase: Yes?
Mike: Daddy
[They all laugh]
Mike: Look how cool though.
Tattoo artist: Oh wow don't hurt yourself [Laughs]
Mike: Bam
Chase: I keep forgetting to breathe. Artist: don't forget bad part...that's important.
Chase: The most important part, just don't stop. You know what I'm saying?
Mike: believing. Chase: believing in yourself five years ago
We started this tattoo.
I know. Artist: And, you never came back to finish it until now. Chase: and I never came back.
because it hurt it was two and a half hours of pure pain of me lying saying I had to go pee and
Going to the bathroom to like almost cry. Artist: about six times. Chase: six times
But every time I would get up you would have to change like the sheets because I was sweating so much.
Artist: Yeah. You did have a...you didn't enjoy that.
Mike whispers: disgusting
Chase: Well, it was like that with my legs too. I got up to pee for real
I was like, I really have to pee for real. Artist: I didn't believe you. Chase: No, I did like I'm not joking.
But my leg I didn't want to fuck up cuz I know
that if we stop it, like when you stop to like change the color or something, whatever you just yeah, I was like
Oh, no, it's gonna hurt so much more now when you go back
[Mike and Chase repeat that vine again]
Chase: What's your favorite word?
Mike: Yeah, like Lily. Artist: Albuquerque. Chase: Albuquerque? Oh that's a good good that's a good that's a good favorite word.
What's your favorite word Mike?
Mike: Mike
[Chase groans][Mike laughs]
Chase: No "???" is your fucking favorite word.
Mike: It's my birthday. Chase: yeah
Artist: Oh pamplemousse. Chase: Oh pamplemousse is a good word. good word too.
Chase: Mine is sliver.
I fucking love that word. It just...I feel it. I feel I want to- Artist: sounds like the word. Chase: Yes. Yes
[Muffled talking]
Chase: If you come up with a design that has the word sliver and
somehow captures what sliver is I'm gonna get it tattooed right away.
Titty......out
Tell me I'm pretty
[Mike deeply inhales]
[Chirstmas music]
I, I feel it. I feel it in my skeleton. It's done. Should I show them or should I sneak peak? No?
Artist: You might want to wipe the blood off. [Chase laughs]
Chase: The blood has been wiped off now I can show you
It looks so good now people aren't gonna be like, what's that blob on your shoulder?
It looks such. Oh, it looks such puss. I speak English.
The lighting in here is very interesting. Look at this
So right now we are going to a store so I can buy Mike some socks
Because he came with me. Oh my god. It looks so good. You have no idea. I'll talk about this later, the tattoo.
I'm just saying how amazing it looks
[Subway car noises]
[Mike - balegda vine noise]
Chase: The music in this is like perfect I don't need ambiance for the vlog
So I feel like I'm gonna faint so we're stopping by to eat a little bit
Wanna see the worst fucking pair of socks ever? We found the most disgusting underwear
I want to get these but it's an extra-large and I can't but it's a flamingo with a Christmas hat
Look at ittt.
And then we found some really really really ugly ones up there
Look at that. Oh my god.
Mike just found the jacket that he's gonna buy. It's beautiful
Hurts my eyes
Mike: bye
[Chase and Mike laugh]
Chase: you look beautiful
Mike: Oh my god this is hideous
Chase: Tell me it's a hundred bucks
The original price is $300, how much is the price here?
Mike: I think that's the price here. When they don't take it off it's it's the price here.
You look beautiful. That's Baby Alive that's what the name of this thing is sweet tears, baby
Doll: Will you help me blow my nose? [blowing sounds]
My nose feels stuffy [more blowing sounds] tissue please [blowing again]
I love you
Chase: Mike I don't even know how to react to this. Why would you want she cries real tears? She cries.
Doll: I don't feel good. [coughs]
I need a checkup...I feel sooo much better
Mike: Why would you give a sick baby to a kid?
Doll: boom boomboom boomboom.....boom boomboom boomboom
[laughs] That's my heart beat.
Help me blow my nose. Chase: Oh my god
I have such small feet that these are the only shoes that we could find that would fit me
Okay, let's find some heels. Nice
Okay, so we have a contender. No, I got it. I win
[Intro music]
Chase: Hey how's my outfit?
I wish I was wearing sweat pants. I feel like it would make this outfit so much better
Little uncomfortable. I don't understand how people can just wear these all day long. Know what I'm saying?
[Intro music]
Chase: Leggy up.
[Music continues]
[Chase laughs] Mike.
[Chase laughs]
[continues laughing]
[Lady starts speaking French to Chase while he's laughing about the heels. She seemed nice]
Same Lady: you made my day
Mike: Looking great
Chase: Feeling thorgeous
Mike: Yes you are honey
Chase: You know these are a lot easier to walk in. I feel like Detox.
[More Chase laugh]
You thought these were women's legs? Wrong!
Mike: Yo, we to go to Pride like this. Legit though.
Chase: you know surprisingly I'm actually very comfortable in these.
cuz like I'm wearing pants, it's great
[Laughter from Chase]
Chase: We need another...uh
Another....Yo, these make me feel sexy.
Mike: This is bigger than this. One side is tighter than the other.
[Intro music]
Chase: This is a man who doesn't understand his identity anymore... I'm kidding
Chase: Oh baby. Oh, look at this. Look at that zoom hunty
Christine: Zoom on that shit.
Chase: Oh fuck yeah. Vegan Fuckin foot foot
Christine: Just take like a slow-mo of this
[Very slowed down "Oh yes" from Chase]
Chase whispers: penetrate me
For people who don't know what poutine is. It's a national treasure of Quebec
Christine: Like Céline Dion. Chase: Like Céline
It is french fries, cheese curds, and gravy
However, we don't have vegan cheese curds because they have not figured out that fuckin invention yet.
Christine: I'm on it, I'm on it. Chase: I know. You made it once though
Christine: I know it was good. It was tofu though. Chase: It was the apple cider vinegar
Yeah, you know what's up, you know what to do.
Christine: And it's good for you.
Chase: Loki your anus is... I'm literally inside your anus.
Um, how is the put-put? Oh,
Oh my god. Christine: I have yet to put it in my mouth.
Chase: you look so good Mike.
No, I always in the vlog on the couch.
Babiesssss
Christine: Can you see my cooter? Chase: I hope so.
[Both laugh]
Mike: Is there a hole in it baby? Christine: There might be.
Chase: Oh my god. I love that you don't know.
[Chase laughs] Oh my god, I forgot that we bought those shoes.
[Mike laughs and then they both laugh]
Mike: 2019 is very very close. Chase: Stop I'm not ready
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Love youuu.
Mike: oh my god, it's so good.
Chase: [laughs] Sounds like last night