- Hey, is that a gun in your holster or you happy to see me?
I saw a video a few years ago from Vice
and another from Tom Scott,
where they went around London
breaking weird antiquated laws.
And I thought to myself,
New York probably has some pretty dumb laws.
I was right about that, and after doing a bit of research,
I decided to come out here in New York City,
and break as many dumb laws as I can in a day.
(upbeat music)
Yes.
Anyone want to buy some dog fur?
It's ethically sourced.
Would you like to buy some dog fur? It's just a dollar.
Sir, you look like a man on the go
that might need some dog fur.
Would you look to buy some dog fur?
Okay, okay.
My sales tactics aren't working so far.
I'm going to cut my prices.
Good, how are you?
- It's a public space and you can't really stand
and sell stuff.
- Oh. But it's just 10 cents.
So if I stand outside of the market, then I'm okay?
I'll go slightly outside of the market.
My prices were too low. They couldn't compete.
Would you like to buy some dog fur?
- What happened, you were over there before?
- They told me I couldn't be in the market.
Do you want some?
- No, honey, I got a dog at home.
Are you doing some type of project?
- I'm trying to make it
as New York's next great dog fur salesman.
- Okay. That's kind of weird.
You know that, right?
- Yeah. I have two bags here. This can make me 20 cents.
- So, what are you going to do with this money?
- I might buy a gumball.
All the experience of having a dog
without having to own a dog.
Would either of you guys like to buy some dog fur
for 10 cents, or a nickel, or even a penny.
If you have a penny on you, I will sell you this dog fur.
I was going to ask that bald man if he wanted any fur
for his head, but I felt that might've been rude.
I'm trying to sell this dog fur for a cent.
- One cent.
Do you have any money on you?
I will take any amount of money.
- Well I got one dime for you.
- A dime! That's what I was selling it for before.
Here you go. That is a bag of dog fur.
See that? Capitalism right there.
Find a product, find a buyer.
I cry a lot in the bathroom.
Helps me get through the day.
It is apparently illegal to throw a ball
at someone's head for pleasure.
So we got to make sure that I look like I'm having fun
while I'm doing this.
DJ, you're ready?
- Go, do it.
- If I don't have fun, I'm going to have to do it again.
I don't think that was fun enough.
That was more fun. All right.
Wait, one more, one more time.
I gotta really be sure I'm doing this for pleasure
and not just out of obligation.
Are you okay?
- I'm good.
- And I had fun.
So, I would say success.
So far I have not been arrested.
I haven't even seen a police officer.
What are they doing? Committing brutality?
(drums)
Apparently, you're not allowed to roll out a red carpet
without a permit here in New York.
So we're going to put that to the test.
And what's the point of rolling out a red carpet
unless you have a show to put on?
And so my lovely assistant DJ here has a window
in which I'm going to put a puppet show on,
which is apparently also illegal.
Sesame street, be warned.
Oh, look at that.
And I got to prepare my sock puppets.
Oh wow. It is great to be here in New York City.
I hope I see some celebrities.
Is that Dwayne 'The Sock' Johnson?
Would you like to go to a show?
Yeah, I was about to go to the Socky horror Picture Show.
Seymour's your friend.
Wow. That was pretty good.
You should be on Sockway,
which is what socks called Broadway for some reason.
Would you like to be my best friend,
Dwayne 'The Sock' Johnson?
Yeah, I'll do it.
(kissing)
And scene.
Hey, you see this shirt?
Want to know what it's made? Boyfriend material.
Thank you.
You know, I didn't see any stars in the sky last night.
Cause all the heavenly bodies are right here.
Hey, how you doing?
- Hi.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Hi, I'm good.
- Is this your mom?
- Yeah this is my mom.
- I was going to say you must have been birthed by an angel,
but that would undersell it.
- Aw.
- Hey, is that a gun in your holster or you happy to see me?
It is apparently illegal to wear slippers
after 10:00 p.m. in New York city.
So I'm out here wearing some slippers.
And you may notice this ice cream cone I've got in my hand.
Well, it's also illegal on Sundays
to put an ice cream cone in your pocket.
And it is currently 10:25 p.m. on Sunday, August 15th.
And I'm about to walk in front of the police.
That's what I call crime.
(suspenseful music)
I think I got away with it.
That was nerve wracking.
I wanted to flirt with a cop here in Union Square
because I thought that was the best chance
of me getting in trouble.
But we walked around the square and couldn't find
a single police officer.
Since I haven't gotten in trouble today,
it just goes to show me that these laws are not enforced,
and that the police truly aren't doing their jobs,
but who could have seen that coming?
At least I got 10 cents out of it.
So, for me, it was a win.
(upbeat music)