[TICKING]
[DIGITAL TONE]
[EXPLOSION]
Oh.
2009 was a hell of a time.
You had a global swine flu spike, Barack Obama being
inaugurated as the 44th President,
and Michael Jackson dying of mysterious circumstances.
You also had Cartoon Network experimenting
with their formula for success, attempting
to integrate live-action reality TV
shows into their animation-based broadcasting schedule.
May I have a piece of your gum?
Please.
Which, shock of all shocks, crashed and burned harder
than anything the network had tried previously.
You might be wondering to yourself,
why would a network exclusively catering to animation fans
and children attempt to pivot to live-action reality
programming?
Well, there's two answers there.
Coming off of the back of the 2007/2008 writers' strike,
networks and basic cable channels alike
were looking for ways to continue putting out content
during the prolonged negotiations with the Writers
Guild of America.
This spawned a massive uptick in reality TV programs
making it to air.
Only thing I think will make me feel better is shopping.
They were cheap to produce, didn't have writers,
and could be churned out quickly for massive profits.
Cartoon Network, who was struggling at the time,
was attempting to resubmit their cultural identity
as the go-to destination for exciting and innovative
programming.
However, Warner Brothers' beleaguered animation network
was trying and failing to capture the hearts
and minds of the viewers.
With shows like Class of 3,000 and My Gym Partner's a Monkey,
the network wasn't exactly cementing themselves
as the go-to place to be for animation-- well,
other than Ben 10 and few other exceptions.
But there was change on the horizon for Cartoon Network--
maybe change that no one asked for but change nonetheless.
And it would all be set into motion
by an ostensibly harmless Nite-Brite.
Enter, The Mooninites.
We do whatever we want to whomever we want at all times.
Mooninites unite.
Lock in.
On January 31, 2007, the Boston Police Department
uncovered what they thought was an elaborate terrorist scheme.
Large, black LED panels with strange designs
of obscure animated characters on them
were uncovered all over the city.
The Mooninites-- they were thought to be
improvised explosive devices and caused mass panic.
The story was picked up by the Los Angeles
Times, San Francisco Chronicle, New York Times, CNN,
and Boston Herald.
As it turns out, it was not an insurgent strike
but an art project or a viral-marketing stunt,
depending on how charitable you're feeling.
Artists Peter "Zebbler" Berdovsky and Sean Stevens
were the key figures behind staging an attempt
at a campaign to promote the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force
movie.
Wait, we have a mother?
Yes, Frylock.
I am your mother.
And I am a nine-layer bean burrito.
Obviously, it spiraled out of control with civilians
and police officers alike thinking these small,
light-up installations were bombs.
Ultimately, the Turner Broadcasting Company
had to pay over $2 million in order
to make the whole situation go away.
Off the back of this whole kerfuffle,
Cartoon Network's General Manager and Executive Vice
President, Jim Samples, resigned from his role.
He took responsibility, saying that it
was his "hope that my decision allows
us to put this chapter behind us and get back
to our mission of delivering unrivaled original animated
entertainment for consumers of all ages."
Unfortunately, this bump in the road
was about to directly impact the fate of original animated
material on the network.
Jim Samples was out.
Stuart Snyder was in.
Snyder's background was working at companies
like SNR, WWE, and GameStop.
He was brash, wanted to shake things up,
and had some interesting, big ideas about what direction
to take Cartoon Network.
Thanks to the influx of slightly older viewers
due to programs like Star Wars Clone Wars
and Ben 10 Alien Force, the network slowly
began incorporating the TV-PG rating into their programming
blocks, something that would have been previously almost
unthinkable as most of the programs
were either rated TV-G or TV-Y7.
You might be wondering how Adult Swim fits
into this conversation, but keep in mind that, yes, Adult Swim
did service an older audience.
They were a late-night block that
had only been around for about six years, mostly
rerunning older programs.
There's a big difference between that
and pivoting the mainline content of the network
to appeal to older audiences.
This soft-ratings pivot manifested in animated shows
like Total Drama and 6teen.
They didn't last very long, but they
weren't the end of attempting to make headways
into older and different viewer bases for Cartoon Network.
They had their sights set on something else.
The network wanted the big money that Nickelodeon and Disney
Channel were raking in thanks to the cavalcade
of successful live-action, teen-driven sitcoms Hannah
Montana, Zoey 101, Drake and Josh Wizards of Waverly Place
and SuiteLife of Zack and Cody were cleaning up.
Cartoon Network, Stuart Snyder, specifically,
were seeing green.
They wanted in.
CN Real premiered as a programming block
on June 17, 2009.
Thanks to the rise in popularity of reality TV
due to the previously mentioned writers' strike,
it only made sense for Cartoon Network
to try and ride that wave.
Snyder's big idea-- take the reality TV phenomenon
and marry it with child and teen performers.
If it worked, they'd be ahead of the curve.
They'd own the market on children's reality TV.
What could go wrong?
Man, I'm so nervous.
You nervous?
Yeah.
Well, you're going to be even more
nervous because, right now, you are a contestant on BrainRush.
Oh my god, really?
Yes.
Yes, really.
Well, for one, the network was named Cartoon Network.
So all of the initial branding efforts
weren't even about the specifics of the show.
They were literally about the idea
of live-action programming, which, you know,
as a sea-changing initiative, you kind of
don't want to have to start on your back foot so to speak.
The shows that launched CN Real were not
universe-shattering, ground-breaking reality
programs aimed at kids unfortunately.
They more had the vibe of bootlegged versions
of existing shows--
just with kids predominantly featured.
Bobb'e Says, the first CN Real program out of the starting
gate, was just America's Funniest Home Videos--
but with a kid hosting it.
Only six episodes were produced-- off
to a great start.
Dude, What Would Happen was just Mythbusters-- but with kids.
The Othersiders was Ghost Hunters
but, you guessed it-- with kids.
BrainRush was Cash Cab on a roller coaster--
with kids.
And of course, the only one of these shows
that's kind of remembered is Destroy Build Destroy,
which was hosted by Andrew WK and starred kids destroying
stuff and building stuff.
Shockingly, the show was actually an original program.
It wasn't a direct rip-off of something.
It's not all that heavy on the actual competition.
It's more just an excuse to watch stuff blow up
and for little kids to cheer.
Dude What Would Happen and Destroy Build Destroy
lasted 3 and 4 seasons, respectively.
But everything else in this block
died a rapid death strangely.
If they had actually put any effort into this initiative,
the world of Cartoon Network's programming
could have been very different.
Ironically, the network put so much time and effort
into making these shows understandable and high
concept enough to easily comprehend,
they forgot to make them good.
If they hadn't made a slate of reality TV aimed
at kids with original ideas, this might have succeeded.
Cartoon Network flirted with some live action
programming for a while after CN Real died its quick death.
But ultimately, the arrival of the smash
hit Steven Universe signaled that cartoons were what people
wanted from Cartoon Network.
In hindsight, it all seems so obvious.
A guy from the WWE, who we all know
isn't an animation fan, trying to pivot
the channel devoted to cartoons into whatever the hell this
was.
Field his track.
Just never had a snowball's chance in hell.
Hey, experiments are good.
They're necessary for creative reinvention,
cultural rejuvenation, and financial sustainability.
But, you know, on a network that's exclusively
dedicated to cartoons, it's kind of
rough to pivot away from that due to what are obviously
the craven business impulses of a dude-bro exec.
Stuart Snyder stayed on as the head of the network
until 2014 when he was replaced by Christina Miller.
Was CN Real the reason that Snyder was invited
to visit greener pastures?
Not directly.
But it definitely didn't help.
The real reason that CN Real failed
is not the fact that live-action programming was
on Cartoon Network, it's the fact
that they all sucked and were obviously money grabs.
They all had the feel that the people making them
were just going through the motions.
Ghost Hunters with little kids-- come on, guys.
Come on.
However, the Nickelodeon shows from a few years previous
to this--
The Amanda Show, Drake and Josh, All That,
and the various Disney sitcoms that were squarely
aimed at children, they were different.
They were attempting to make a quality product for a younger
audience.
They might not have succeeded, but they
were attempting in revisiting these CN Real projects aside
from Andrew WK's unbridled enthusiasm.
Give me an e.
Give me an s.
Give me a t.
Give me an r.
Give me an o.
Give me a y.
What's that spell?
(ALL) Destroy.
It genuinely seems like everyone was asleep at the wheel.
The formula for CN Real was broken
before it had even started.
It's as transparent as you can possibly make something.
To put the finest point on it, if the early promos
for your projects are literally just
messaging about how we know this contradicts our established
branding, but it's going to be really cool--
you might want to figure something else out.
And that's all we have this week.
What do you think?
Would you watch a contemporary reboot
of Destroy Build Destroy.
Let us in the comments below.
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