The ISO is here
It only has like three options
The best setup I'll be honest (laughs)
My name is Ethan
I'm 17, due to turn 18
I'm a son brother and an uncle
The version of you the others see isn't you
If that makes sense
That other people see you determine you have expectations and
prejudices and whole sets of understanding about who you are before
you even open your mouth before you even walk to the door
Black men black people
but especially black men I'd say are visible and invisible at the same time
What's inside you doesn't get heard, doesn't get see
Oh my God, Ethan
No, no that's taking it too far
One night back in April I was coming from my friend's house
With another friend
We was on our way to the bus stop when approaching the bus stop across the
other side of the road was a group of boys
The boys yelled at us
Eventually they started chasing me and my friend down the road
About six of them
We got caught
The road was how it's now over the cars
We was running in the road everything that's how you almost got run over
That's how we got caught
And from there, the stabbings happened. There wasn't really much talking
Just then one
I saw him get stabbed in his leg and then
oh I didn't know that I was getting stabbed but I felt like... on my back it felt
like a punch
No one was helping, no one was helping
There was a lot of people there, but no one was helping
There was people who you I knew
saw the whole thing but they walked off as if nothing had happened and when
asking passers-by if they could help they were saying "No thanks, they're sorry
that I can't help"
Passersby ignoring me and not helping me
I felt like they almost made me feel like it was my fault
that I got stabbed and I know in their heads they just thought
"Another young boy fighting, probably got himself into the situation"
That whatever happened that night was all due to my own actions
Oh yeah, this is the wall
Didn't get no further than this
That's it
While I was in the hospital one of the nurses treating me on my ward told me that once
I'm discharged from the hospital I should stop carrying knives and
fighting on the road and street as what happened to me was a result of carrying
knives and fighting on the street I hadn't told her that I carry knives she doesn't
know nothing about me and she doesn't know who I am
So for her to assume that what happened was because of me... it hurts
Saying what she said to me cut deeper than any of the knife wounds themselves
When I had my incident
Yeah
When I was in the hospital a lot of the nurses and other
people in the ward was telling me that what happened was in a way my own
fault due to what I wear
Down to what you wear?
It was your thought that you was
attacked by people you've never met before you know because of your clothing
Yeah
Wow that's like saying that when a woman is raped by a total stranger it
was because of what she was wearing and it's...
They attracted them
Yeah, so therefore
it's partly her fault yeah that's pretty that's that's a
pretty effed up thing to say kid this friggin almost died
There's a police officer that trims it here, right? And one time when he was on a flying squad or drug
squad he came in for a haircut and he had one of his colleagues in here with
him this obviously was some white officer from outside of London
Didn't really have any real contacts with black people for wherever he came from so and
even though this is a police officer that obviously come to get a
haircut we obviously had a relationship
This guy decided to treat me like a
suspect so he's questioning me about how long
have I been here how much money do I earn what did I do
before, until my mate who was in the chair at the time had to just tell him to go
sit in the car and then after the haircut he went out there and gave him a
dressing-down but the point was is that this guy isn't a police officer from
I don't know way up north somewhere his perception was every black person
comes in concept we should be treated the same I don't even really blame him
really I mean every time you pick up a newspaper or read the news all you ever see is
this black kid or group of black guys in hoodies and dark clothes getting up
to something to the point now when anyone sees a group of black kids black
boys they always think the worst
I think the doctor that discharged you had the perception that you were because
you was a young boy you were in a gang
Black boy
Okay, black boy you were in a gang
But why?
Why did she
feel like that and why did she say? She's just rude
and she's just one of life's ignorant people maybe if she had asked you what
the problem was or how it happened you could have told her
Well do you think it's
my fault that I got stabbed because I'm black and how I look
There's nothing wrong with how you look, there's nothing wrong with the color of your skin, you keep
telling me I don't understand. What don't I understand?
I tend to feel invisible
and there are days, and when I say invisible I don't mean people don't actually see me for who I am
If it doesn't work later in America
I want to try and make a film
I do feel like as black people we are seen as
violent all the time
And agressive
And aggressive, yeah
Even I was once I went
downstairs to get a drink water and I asked one of like the people that were
in charge if I could get a bottle of water
At the uni?
Yeah at our college it was at another branch of our college
and the lady said yes I went in to go get a bottle of water but obviously like
the head teacher of that school saw me come out with the bottle of water and
was like "Why are you stealing? that why you
sneaking off with that?" I said I asked the lady if I could have it. It's not like I come in
here and just taking it without permission and he started saying that I
was being rude aggressive and I was very confused because the way I was speaking
to him I'm taught to speak to adults with respect and I was speaking to him
with respect but he was treating me as if I was I don't know, I don't know... just really odd
I don't speak like you most people assume a black person would and when I
do that they always say oh why are you speaking so posh why are you speaking like a
white guy I'm like no I just speak differently and articulately, but it is the
assumption that a black person can't speak with intelligence
Look at London from here... it looks quite nice
Is that the Shard?
All the successful black men in the media
are either rappers, entertainers or athletes which isn't really achievable
for most young people. You didn't really see
more realistic jobs such as lawyers, doctors, business owners and etcetera
Young people especially young black ones need more realistic role models shown in TV
One of my friends does drama. He wants to be an actor
Another one... a lawyer. Another one wants to do criminology
We like doing stuff like that as well
We have to go out of our way a lot to prove, almost that we have to prove ourselves
of not being what we seem to be there's a lot of white people that don't
actually know any black people personally they don't really get to
communicator with them that much and understand what they really are about
I don't know solutions, I don't know, and time I suppose... time
Once we've all been around each other a lot longer