Hi there coach.
It's Carolin here and today I want to talk to you about the three most common forms of
self sabotage and how you can overcome them so you can fulfill on your big mission.
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Self sabotage.
Are you self sabotaging right now?
Have you ever sabotaged your success in the past?
Chances are you have, right?
We all have.
I have been sabotaging my way to success, I always say.
So I've learned over time how I'm holding myself back and I've been able to overcome
one thing at a time to ultimately get to where I am today.
So to me, growing a business and developing yourself as an entrepreneur is a consistent
journey of overcoming your own limitations and your fears and doubts and what's happening
in your mind to get yourself to grow and become the person that's ready for that next level
of success.
From working with literally thousands of clients from all around the world with different backgrounds
and different personalities and strengths and weaknesses.
We know that there are certain forms of self sabotage that come up over and over again.
So today I want to share with you the three most common forms, how you can catch yourself
when you do them, and how to overcome them so that you can move forward powerfully and
without any limiting beliefs.
The first form of self sabotage I want to talk to you about is when you feel like you
just don't deserve success and you don't deserve that next level or those goals that you really
want to accomplish.
Now, what does that look like?
Most people live in what I call a box or a container, which your view of where you need
to live and what's good for you and what you deserve and what you can and cannot have.
So there's an upper limit, but there's also a lower limit, and people like to keep themselves
in those limits.
That's where we feel comfortable.
That's what we're used to and that's what we've been told is the right thing for us.
So part of it is your environment.
It might be your family, might be your friends, it might be your parents that have told you
what's good and what's enough for you and where you should stay.
So look at your environment.
How is that influencing you right now and are you potentially trying to break out of
those limits and get into the next level.
But you're worried about what people might think about you, what they might say about
you.
Look at her, she's making all this money now, look at him, he bought his new car, and maybe
you are afraid of changing and becoming different than the people that you're used to, your
friends and your family and not belonging anymore.
So you're moving outside your comfort zone a little bit into a space where you feel like
it's not right for you.
Another part of it is when you feel as though you can step outside your box and you can
accomplish more, but then what if it goes away?
So bearing that pain of achieving something.
And then not being able to maintain it and losing it all again.
Maybe you feel deserving of all of your success is all of your big goals and if so, that's
great.
So maybe number two is where you're self sabotaging yourself.
The second form of self sabotage is when you have fear of vulnerability.
Let's explore this idea of being vulnerable a little bit.
What does that mean?
That means you're putting yourself into a situation that you are not used to that could
potentially open you up to pain, to feeling embarrassment, to feeling discouraged, to
feeling like you're letting yourself down and being disappointed in yourself.
That's a lot of things that can happen.
All of that seems very risky, very scary and very painful to you.
So what happens then?
When you're afraid of being vulnerable, a lot of times, subconsciously you only give
it half the effort.
You don't actually go all out.
You don't spend as much money as you could.
You don't take the risks you could take.
You don't actually go all out because you're afraid that if you do and then you fail, that
idea of failure is just going to be unbearable for you.
With our clients, we see it all the time when it comes to marketing for example.
Our clients put on webinars, they put on a masterclasses, they market themselves, and
instead of maxing out on their budgets, they go halfway.
They spend a hundred dollars, $200, they spend less than they could because they know that
if it doesn't work out, they can always say, I didn't try.
I didn't give it my all.
It was just a test.
It was just an experiment.
So what if I failed?
So what?
They didn't show up when they didn't buy it from me.
I didn't give it my all so it's not my fault.
Another example of fear of vulnerability is when you actually do something to yourself.
You sabotage your way back into your box.
Binge eating, drinking, going out too much at night, being tired the next day, so you're
actually doing things to yourself that will prevent you from being your best, for showing
up fully in your business, for clients, for the people that really need you.
A third example, might be technology overwhelm.
This isn't working.
Come on.
I hate you, technology.
Nothing ever works.
How many times have you said it's just too complicated?
I just don't know how the system works.
I can't figure out my Facebook ads.
Social media, it's just not for me.
I can't do video, or God forbid, hosting a YouTube channel.
I could never do that.
Maybe you're making excuses for yourself, is it really that tough.
Is it really that difficult or is that just stories that you tell yourself to feel, again,
like it's not your fault, it's just too hard.
You just don't have the skills, and it's just not for you.
So that is another form of how you're staying away from being vulnerable and really giving
it your all in putting yourself out there and taking that risk in order for you to stay
safe and stay in your comfort zone.
The third form of self sabotage, is when you're protecting your ego.
No no no no no, I said indoor hot tub, indoor.
What do you mean it's not available?
Idiot!
Ridiculous.
I deserve better.
I'll let me start by saying that if you have an ego, that's not a bad thing.
In fact, as a business owner, you need to have a certain level of confidence and belief
in yourself that you could actually pull it off and that you can lead people, your team,
your clients, your tribe, and your community.
However, when your ego leads you to either stay away from things that will potentially
put you at risk of looking foolish, making a fool of yourself or feeling, then it's a
form of self sabotage.
On the other hand, people that have this ego and they're trying to protect it, they might
actually really go for it.
They might put themselves out there and take that risk, but when they fail, the pain of
failure is so unbearable for them again, that they will never try again.
And I can't tell you how many business owners I've seen that did that and then closed their
business down or stayed small or changed their niche, or did something completely different
because that embarrassment, that vulnerability was just unbearable for them.
So if you are someone who has a big ego, embrace it, love it, but let it fuel you to go out
there and try and try again because your path to success ultimately is a path of failing,
learning from it and then doing it again.
There're one more potential issue.
When you're dealing with your ego, when you have an ego that's so big, while at the same
time you're feeling not good enough, you're actually suffering from what I call imposter
syndrome and I'm sure you've heard this term before.
And you can see it in people who are out there trying to be more than they feel like they
are inside, right?
They're trying to compensate for their weaknesses potentially with external things.
Like cars, and big yachts and houses and private jets, and all of these things are great, but
when you are using them to project this image and you really don't believe that you really
can't be that and you really don't feel good inside, it will lead you to feeling very inauthentic
in your business and again, at this fear of sustaining it all will come up.
This fear of constantly being that big person will be bothering you, and over time it will
lead you to potentially crumble in your business and it's just not sustainable.
How do you overcome self sabotage?
Well, number one is you need to become aware of what you're doing right now, so if you
feel you're sabotaging yourself, become aware of your patterns and your behaviors and that
will allow you to stop yourself in the moment and say, hey, this is not going well.
This is not who I want to be or how I want to feel and let's redirect.
The next thing you need to do is have a plan.
My cure for fear and doubt and holding myself back has always been strategy.
It's been making a plan, sticking to it, and then getting myself to that next big goal.
If you're looking for a strategy to get your business to that next level.
You're looking for more clients, more impact, more success and more ease in your coaching
or consulting business.
I have something for you.
Simply register for our free masterclass where I'm going to show you how to build a massively
successful online coaching or consulting business around your desired lifestyle.
Click on the link below in the description.
Sign up right now and I can't wait to see you in the class.
So let's have a conversation.
I'm curious how you've been sabotaging yourself.
I would love for you to make a commitment right now in the comments below that you will
stop your self sabotage, that you will learn from today's episode, and take action towards
a much more confident and powerful future today.
If you liked the episode, give me a like, subscribe to our channel and maybe share it
with your friends.
Thank you so much for watching and take care.
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