picture this you've been seeing this guy for a while and spending time together
you really like him but you still don't know where you stand and you're afraid
to bring up the relationship topic because you're unsure of how he will
respond does that sound familiar well then keep watching because in this video
I'm going to share the signs that you're stuck in a gray area and I'm gonna tell
you how to get out of that situation and into the fulfilling relationship that
you want don't go anywhere because we're starting right now
hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist and a relationship
coach. this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love. so if you want to make your love life the
best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and hit
the bell notification so you aren't missing anything okay on to gray area
relationships most people don't go from being complete strangers to becoming an
official couple overnight instead you become a couple after
spending some time together and that's what dating should be about to people
getting to know one another with the intention of getting into a committed
relationship and naturally there are going to be some times where you are
unsure about the future of the relationship or if it's even a
relationship at all but when you get stuck in the gray area a little too long
it might mean that you're wasting your time on a man who will never commit to
you and the longer you stay in this situation the harder it is for you to
get out without having a broken heart so without further ado here are the signs
that you're in a gray area relationship and after the signs I'll tell you
exactly how to handle the situation so you end up with the relationship you
want and deserve number one you're embarrassed about how long you've been
in limbo since you've never had the relationship talk you really don't know
what to call your situation however you've been together long enough that
your friends and family and co-workers know about him and when they ask about
your situation you cringe inside because you have no words to define the
relationship and no official title but deep down you know that the commitment
should be there by now so you're kind of embarrassed about how long you've been
together yet not together and you don't even know what to call them when
confronted with having to introduce them to someone you're not even sure if you
can call him your friend or your boyfriend or just say hey this is Mike
number two you have no idea if you're exclusive or not this goes hand-in-hand
with the first sign since you've never had the relationship talk or exclusivity
talk you aren't sure if you're exclusive or if he's dating others or
if he's keeping his options open and as a man I can tell you this if he hasn't
had the conversation with you if he hasn't asked you to be exclusive with
him you can bet that he is not exclusive with you trust me as I've mentioned
before one of the biggest incentives for men to become exclusive in a
relationship with you is because he's afraid of you dating other men now
here's the problem so many women who are in this gray area relationship don't
keep their options open they go on and assume that he's not dating anyone else
or they are so smitten with their man that they don't go on any dates with
anyone else it's as if pretending to be committed to
someone but you're really not and because your relationship needs are
being met by one person you're not dating anyone else even though there's
nothing holding you back from doing so the problem here you're emotionally
unavailable to date anyone new and you might pass on the one person who is so
right for you number three he tells you that he's not ready for a relationship
many women get frustrated by this gray area relationship and they decide to
bring up the question what are we or they asked if he's dating anyone else or
if they are exclusive and his response is anything but definitive instead he
gives you a list of reasons why he can't get serious right now for example he
tells you that his work schedule is crazy or he just got out of a serious
relationship or he needs to work on himself then he talks about keeping
things casual and seeing how things go he says let's give it some time and see
what happens in other words he doesn't give you a straight yes or no answer so
you hang around and continue in this gray area and hope that he will
eventually want you enough to get serious with you number four he
safeguards and hides his cell phone in a relationship being open and honest about
everything is important but when a guy has something to hide one of the first
things he'll begin to do is keep his cell phone private so pay attention to
what he does with his phone when he's with you does he have the ringer and
notifications off does he keep the phone facedown on the counter when you're
hanging out does he always take his phone to the
bathroom and seem to be gone for an unusually long time these are all
possible signs that he's trying to keep his communications private and doesn't
want you to know about them number five he won't include you on his social media
or tad you in the photos is your guy constantly updating Instagram or
Facebook and posting photos with friends do you feel like you're the only one who
doesn't get any love on his social media accounts in other words is he trying to
make it look like he's still single and more importantly has he avoided adding
you or connecting with you on Facebook or Instagram I mean when you're
interested in someone it's natural to add them as a friend on the popular
social media websites a guy who's dating you and only you will have no problem
adding you as his friend almost immediately as a matter of fact he will
probably add you before you even ask to add him but if he's keeping his options
open he may try to keep his social media accounts a big secret and if you send
him a friend request and he declines it pay attention he may tell you that his
account is only for close friends and family but in reality you might be one
of the many women that he's dating or wants to date and he's trying not to
blow his cover number 6 he cancels on you pretty regularly let's face it
things happen and a date cancellation is bound to occur at some point but if the
guy you're dating is cancelling your dates over and over again it could
definitely be a sign that he's keeping his options open
men who are dating others will frequently cancel on you if a better
option comes around so he comes up with an excuse to blow off your date so he
can spend time with the new person that he just met at the bar last night on the
flip side he will also try to spring plans on you last minute
often in the evening asking you out for a drink or to a movie because his plans
changed okay so if you recognize some or all of these signs that I just described
what do you do well keep watching because this is how you turn things
around being in a gray area relationship is like you're stuck in limbo
too afraid to put what you already have on the line but still not sure how to
change things and so you wait and you hope that he will eventually reel
what he has and reciprocate the love but let me tell you waiting and keeping
things the way they are is not an option doing nothing will simply tell him that
you're ok with things as they are and it's ok for him to keep doing what he's
doing sure you might complain about it and
threaten that you've had enough but until you have a serious conversation
and take action nothing is going to change and let me tell you why for most
men being in a relationship is a very black or white issue it's either a yes
or it's a no it's not a multiple choice question if you've been dating for
several months and he still tells you that he's not sure that he needs some
time then it's a no answer there's no such thing as a maybe here see as I
mentioned in other videos one of the biggest incentives for getting into an
exclusive relationship is so that you take your partner off the market so to
speak you want them and you won't even
consider sharing them or having them date other people but if a man is not
concerned by the possibility that another man might win your heart then
you've either convinced him that you could never love anyone else or he just
doesn't care like he should I can tell you from personal experience too it's
always black or white yes or no when it's a I'm not sure that means I don't
like you enough to be afraid of losing you
period so now let's get back to the situation at hand you're dealing with
the man who isn't sure that he wants a relationship with you and it's been
several months what do you do well those of you who have watched my videos in the
past no here's what you say you let him know that he needs to take some time and
be alone so he can figure it out yes you were the one who suggests to him that he
needs time away to figure it out because again everyone deserves to be happy and
to be with the person that they're 100% sure of and committed to and when you
tell him that in the nicest most sincere way possible you're letting him know
that you want him to be happy and you want him to figure it out but you're
also telling him that this situation isn't meeting your needs because you
need someone who is all-in and sure so in the meantime you're going to continue
to date other men because you want a relationship
and when he figures it out maybe you'll still be available maybe or maybe you'll
be in a relationship or maybe you'll be married to someone else
when you handle the conversation in this manner your letting you know that you're
not willing to tolerate or accept anything less than a hundred percent
from a person you're letting you know that you deserve more and that you're
showing love for yourself and will not accept less than you deserve and lastly
you're showing him that you have the confidence that you will find what
you're looking for and despite being disappointed you know that this is the
right thing to do you're also letting him know that your life doesn't stop as
you wait around for him to figure it out and of course it's a scary conversation
to have I know you're worried that he's going to let you leave without
protesting and when you have that conversation I would actually expect
that he's going to play it cool and agree with you because he's going to be
calling your bluff he's going to think that you aren't strong enough to pull it
off so perhaps he will even agree with you during the conversation and that's
okay but I can promise you this engaging in this conversation and then following
through with your behavior always result in you finding out what's really going
on yeah he may play it cool for a few hours or for a few days and he may test
you by texting or calling you as if the conversation never happened and this is
where you need to be strong you cannot continue to see him and date him without
him making a change if you do you've just made the situation worse for
yourself no you must set strong boundaries and you must not engage with
his flirty text you cannot casually see him and you certainly cannot have any
sexual relations with him walking away with your head held high
might be the catalyst he needs to realize how much he doesn't want to lose
you trust me on this one I've seen it hundreds of times when he realizes that
you have had enough and that you're really walking away from him he's going
to freak out and make a hundred and eighty degree change in his behavior now
if he lets you go and doesn't try to make any changes then you know that he
would have left regardless if he disappears when you shine the light of
truth on him then he had no intentions of staying
anyway now if you're interested in learning more about getting your man to
recognize your value click here to watch this video or click here to watch a
video that YouTube thinks that you like and if you found this video helpful
please consider subscribing if you haven't already thanks for watching I'll
see in the next video