CHEF: "I want you to check out my new confectioneries."
"I think they're gonna sell right through the roof!"
"I call them 'Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls'."
STAN: "Are they good?"
CHEF: "Try 'em!"
*Munch munch munch*
STAN: "Hey, these are good!"
CARTMAN: "Yeah, I love your Salty Chocolate Balls, Chef!"
KENNY: [Muffled laughing]
Hey, what's up guys? Welcome back to Binging with Babish
where this week, I have a little announcement to make.
I'm going to be appearing at Colossal Cluster Fest in San Francisco.
It's this massive comedy festival, June 2nd through the 4th.
It's headlined by Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart
and I'm going to be participating in a South Park-style Chili Con Carnival cook-off.
More information on that after the episode,
but for now it is time to make Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls, exactly how he described them in the song,
which starts with two tablespoons of cinnamon,
two or three egg whites,
half a stick of butter (melted)...
Whoops, I forgot he specifies to stir it with a wooden spoon,
add a cup of flour, "you'll be in Heaven soon"? I think that's how it goes?
A quarter cup of unsweetened cocoa powder,
half a cup of brandy,
and then he says "two or three bags of sugar", which sounds crazy so I'm just gonna add in a TON of sugar.
(I know this is gonna end in a disaster but we gotta be accurate)
Mix it up with your wooden spoon, as specified, before adding a pinch of vanilla, or I guess a half teaspoon of vanilla
And shaping them into salty chocolate balls, which, actually ironically, doesn't have any salt in the recipe
But we're gonna bake them at 350 degrees [Fahrenheit] for about twenty minutes or until-
Oh, these aren't quite balls, are they?
That's fine, we'll see if they taste any good.
They end up tasting a little bit like old-school Italian grandma cookies, and not in a good way.
All the booze and cinnamon, so..
Let's see if we can make this a little more palatable.
We're gonna add ANOTHER cup of flour, a teaspoon each (baking powder and baking soda),
mix that all together, and now you'll finally have a dough you can more properly shape into balls, before baking again at 350°F for 15-20 minutes
or until the come out a little bit closer to balls. That's a little bit better.
Even with the much-needed addition of some kosher salt, the flavor and texture of these are still just off
and I know we can do better.
So, we're gonna take a stick of butter, cube it into the bowl-to-stand mixer with two cups of sugar,
patiently cream those together for 2-3 minutes on high speed with your chin planted comfortably on the top of your stand mixer,
crack three whole eggs in there, and again, on high speed, cream together until light and, er, creamy.
And in the meantime, we're gonna combine a cup of flour, half a cup of unsweetened cocoa powder,
and a teaspoon and a half each, baking powder and kosher salt,
that we're going to whisk together before slowly adding to the machine on low speed.
As that comes together we're going to add a half a teaspoon of vanilla extract,
a half cup of buttermilk, and a quarter cup of vegetable oil.
Stream that slowly down the side before turning the mixer again on to high speed
for 2-3 minutes or until the batter is light and fluffy.
Oil the inside of a cake pan.
Fill it with our cake batter.
Smooth out the top and bake at 350°F for 35-40 minutes or until it is set and no longer jigglin'.
While the cake cools completely, we're going to melt some chocolate in a double boiler, about 8 ounces worth,
and pour out onto a sheet pan. We're going to spread it out into a very thin layer.
Pound it down a couple times to make it nice and smooth
and freeze it for 10 minutes or until its lost its sheen.
Then being very careful not to scrape the metal, we're going to use a lemon zester
to make some short and curly chocolate curls.
Some short and curlies.
Then we're going to toss with some cocoa powder before placing in the freezer until we're ready to use it.
In the meantime we're going to scrape our cooled cake into a mixing bowl.
Add a half cup of whole milk and add more milk as necessary until you reach a dough-y consistency
that we then are going to shape into chocolate balls and place on a parchment-lined baking sheet
before coating in molten chocolate and rolling in our short and curlies.
Now these are chocolate salty balls that I think Chef himself would recognize
and man, Chef's balls are tasty, but do they hold a candle to Cartman's chili?
CARTMAN: "Do you like it?"
"Do like it, Scott?"
"I call it 'Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman Chili'."
SCOTT TENORMAN: "OH MY GOD!"
That's right, we're making chili out of cascabella chilies, guajillo chilies, ancho chilies,
and Scott Tenorman's parents.
We're going to start this chili much like Kevin's Famous Chili from The Office by removing the seeds,
removing the stems, and cutting them all into one inch pieces
that we can then place into a dry frypan and toast over medium heat until barely smoking and fragrant.
Then while the pan is still hot, but not too hot, we're going to add about a cup and half of chicken stock,
bring it to a bare simmer,
cover, remove from the heat, and allow to steep for half an hour
before placing into the bowl of a food processor.
Now this is a slightly different method. I've found that it's a lot easier than grinding the dry peppers.
(So long as your food processor is plugged in!)
We're gonna pulse that a few times before adding half a cup of corn flour (for thickening).
Maybe a tablespoon of dried oregano, two tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder,
and a tablespoon of freshly ground cumin.
Go ahead and process that for about two minutes, or until completely smooth, and set aside
while we combine one finely minced habanero, two finely minced jalapeños, a chopped onion, and one crushed clove of garlic.
Now according to some very... morbid articles that I've read online,
human tastes most like pork.
So we're going to use a boneless pork shoulder that we're going to cut into half inch pieces
along with squeezing a pound of uncured chorizo out of its casing.
We're then going to brown the sausage over medium-high heat, rendering out all the fat, and breaking it into little pieces,
And then browning our pork in the rendered sausage fat.
Make sure those pieces are good and brown, that you build up a nice fond on the bottom of the pot.
Which we're then going to dump our vegetables into.
Sweat them for a few minutes before de-glazing with a whole Mexican beer.
Scrape up all that good stuff off the bottom of the pot,
add our spice paste, and another cup and a half of chicken stock.
Add our meat back to the pot,
and I forgot to film it, but you want to add
two 14oz cans of chopped tomatoes to our chili before covering with the lid slightly ajar a simmering for 3-4 hours,
or until the meat is completely tender and the sauce is thickened.
Season with salt and pepper as necessary and prepare to impress your school bully at the Chili Con Carnival Cook-Off.
Add some shredded chedder and freshly chopped chives, if you want to really bring out the flavor of Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman.
Now this might be a really tasty way to get rid of your worst enemy's parents,
but what it really needs is some crème fraîche.
RANDY: "Sit down, sit down! I've made you all breakfast again!"
STAN: "Aww, crap."
RANDY: "Now, what I have for you is a nice goat cheese and heirloom tomato frittata."
"And were gonna top that with a little... crème fraîche."
ANDREW: Randy's frittata sounds like the perfect breakfast to have after a long night of making
cake balls and chilies, so I'm going to start with:
half a dozen shallots shaved thinly on a mandolin.
Now, unless you're a trained professional like myself, make sure to use a hand grind-- ow!!
F*CK!
Okay, now that we've dug our hand guard out of the back of our closet,
we're ready to shave our shallots.
We're going to cut these into eighth inch slices that we're then going to separate into little rings, and prepare for a low temperature fry.
Shallots have a lot of moisture in them, we don't want to drop them into high heat.
They will explode.
Start them at 215°F and raise them to 350°F and remove them once blonde.
Not dark brown, but blonde.
They will continue to darken outside of the oil.
Now it's time to address the heirloom tomato part of our heirloom tomato frittata.
We're going to chop up three large heirloom tomatos
scooping out the seeds and goop in the middle before chopping into one inch pieces.
We're then going to heat two tablespoons each butter and olive oil in a 10" cast iron pan.
Whisk together-- whisk t--
whisk t-- whissk the other--
Whisk together six eggs with one cup of milk, salt, pepper, and 4oz of crumbled goat cheese.
Stir just to combine, work on your enunciation, and place the butter and olive oil over medium high heat
until foaming subsides and add one small chopped shallot.
Saute over medium heat until soft and one crushed clove of garlic
and saute for an additional 30 seconds or until fragrant.
Add our chopped heirloom tomatos, increase the heat to medium-high and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated
and the tomatoes are soft.
Then add our egg and goat cheese mixture.
Over medium heat, constantly drag your wooden spoon across the bottom of the pan.
This creates a smaller curd and thus more tender eggs later on.
Once the eggs become thick, place in a 350°F oven for 15-20 minutes, or until the eggs are set.
Hack yourself off a slice, plate it up with some fried shallots,
some freshly chopped chives, and let's dig in.
Oops, wait a second, I think I'm forgetting something.
Last night I remember combining once pint of heavy cream with a couple tablespoons of buttermilk,
stirring well to combine, covering, and letting sit out at room temperature overnight, thus creating:
Crème fraîche.
Which I'm going to place a nice dollop on top of our - awww yeah....
Ehem, sorry - on top of our frittata.
Now, it's rare that I clean my plate on this show,
but it's even rarer that something is so good,
that I go back for seconds.
Randy Marsh, you win The South Park Special.
Alright, so guys, like I was saying,
Colossal Cluster Fest is June 2-4th [2017] in San Francisco,
and they're going to be featuring vendors serving food from shows like South Park, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Seinfeld.
And I'm going to be competing in a South Park Chili con Carnival cook-off
with SPQR's Michelin-star'd Matthew Accarrino, and Sarah & Evan Rich from Rich Table.
So if you wanna come down and see my face and see my ass get thoroughly handed to me in a chili cook-off,
come on down to Colossal Cluster Fest on June 2nd.