Not long after his Gold medal win in the 1996 Summer Olympics with a broken freakin’ neck,
let’s not forget, Kurt Angle did a commercial for Pittsburgh-based pizzeria, Pizza Outlet,
now known as Vocelli Pizza. In the commercial, Angle orders a pizza “with a broken freakin’
neck” …OK, maybe not with a broken freakin’ neck but Angle orders a pizza and when he
opens the box, there are CGI-animated vegetables wrestling each other, using moves such as
an airplane spin. Who even uses that move anymore? All in all, the commercial was very
cheesy, no pun intended, and the outdated 90s CGI only added to the ‘cheesiness’.
Not to mention, Angle’s acting…well…that speaks for itself. The Rock even used the
commercial in a segment on RAW to embarrass Angle in his own home town and The Rock’s
response after watching the commercial was what everyone who has watched it would be
thinking. [I will play a clip]
If you grew up during the 90s, then you may remember some of the Slim Jim jerky commercials
that featured the “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Other wrestlers besides Savage including The
Ultimate Warrior, Bam Bam Bigelow, Kevin Nash and Edge have each featured in Slim Jim commercials
but none were quite as memorable to that of the Macho Man’s. Almost every Slim Jim commercial
featuring Savage resulted in him breaking in through somewhere followed by explosions,
even more explosions and then Savage yelling his iconic product tag line, “Need a little
excitement? Snap into a Slim Jim!”. In one particular ad, Savage smashes his way in through
the roof of a light store, uses the jerky to cause thousands of dollars’ worth of
damage, almost kills the owner of the store and wreaks further havoc all because the owner
made a patronizing joke towards two high school boys. Ohhhhh Yeaaahhhh!
Brock Lesnar has conquered pretty much everything in the WWE being a four-time WWE Champion,
a 2002 King of the Ring winner, 2003 Royal Rumble winner and the one to conquer The Undertaker’s
WrestleMania streak, much to the surprise of many. He has even conquered the damn sea
in a WWE commercial for SummerSlam 2003, which you will find out shortly if you have not
seen it already. In the ad, a lifeguard blows his whistle after spotting a shark, causing
immediate panic on the beach. A police officer then screams for everyone to get out of the
water and run but while everyone is running away, The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar runs
towards the sea, dives into the water and F5s a f*ck*ng shark. The ad ends with Lesnar
surrounded by a sea of women…see what I did there… and a voice shouts, “killer
whale”, prompting Lesnar to go and deal with it. Is there anything he cannot conquer?
When Brock Lesnar is done victimizing the whole WWE roster, we need to see Brock Lesnar
vs Shark at WrestleMania. Book it Vince, book it!
This has got to be one of the weirdest commercials out there involving a WWE wrestler and quite
creepy in a way. Hulk Hogan was the face during the Golden Age of wrestling and this presented
him with many product endorsement opportunities. One of which was an ad aired in Japan for
Hitachi’s Big Flow air conditioner. As mentioned, the ad was rather strange and creepy in a
way as it literally consisted of Hogan singing a children’s nursery rhyme to the days of
the week…shirtless, wearing nothing but a white bandana and underwear. Why not, I
suppose. What’s also creepy is Hogan’s gaze as it transitions to a shot of a baby.
As The Rock, would say, “What in the blue hell was that?”. It’s like the producers
of the ad told The Hulkster to sing whatever song came to his head. Despite its weirdness,
it is admittedly quite catchy.
If you have not seen this commercial already, then you are in for a treat. The commercial
starts with Sting showing up at a boy’s house and telling him that he’s from “The
Dream Come True Fantasy Foundation” …sounds legit. The two then proceed to wrestle each
other but before this happens, the boy takes a sip out of a Sprite can. Seconds later,
Sting lands a right hand and starts to give the poor boy a thorough thrashing while the
boy’s parents question whether this is real. You would think that as this is an ad for
Sprite, the boy would gain some sort of advantage after drinking Sprite but nope. It’s safe
to say that if this ad was broadcasted in this day and age, it would not go down well
with child abuse organizations. If Sting ever does show up on your doorstep, just make sure
that all your doors are locked shut.