Oh no! Superman is dead!
What are we going to do?
We could just rely on the other heroes.
No, let's use bad guys instead.
That is seriously one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard. Absolutely not.
Come on. Pretty please.
Sure. Go ahead.
((Release the Ayer Cut))
So who do you have in mind?
I have a guy who never misses a shot.
Oooh! Hawkeye.
What? No bad guys. Remember?
His name is Deadshot.
He's really good with guns.
Oh, make this look good.
Then there's Harley Quinn.
She's the Joker's girlfriend.
I'm mentally unstable.
Next, there's Captain Boomerang.
He's really good at throwing boomerangs.
And then there's Diablo.
He can shoot fire from his hands.
Wow. Oh, really?!
Except he doesn't do that anymore.
Wait. Why is he on the team again?
And then we got the big guy.
Someone more beast than man.
Ooooo Hellboy!
Killer Croc.
Oooo! He sounds important.
No he only has like three lines in this movie.
Awe man.
And finally, June Moon, the world's worst archeologist.
Don't break anything. Don't break anything.
Dang it!
She released an ancient evil spirit that now inhabits her body.
She is the Enchantress.
And what can she do?
She has limitless power and can teleport anywhere at will.
That sounds bad.
Don't worry. I can make her do what I want.
Then I had one of my soldiers fall in love with her.
Hey there.
Hey. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Wait.
Why is the water brown?
Shhhh!
I don't know about this one. She actually sounds dangerous.
Don't worry. It's not like she's going to escape.
Oh, crap! She escaped.
Don't worry.
It's not like she's going to free her brother as well.
And she just freed her brother.
There's two of them now.
Suicide Squad Assemble.
What should we do now?
Do you want to escape?
No! Let's stay right here.
In fact, let's make a sky beam so the good guys know right where to find us.
Okay.
You wanted to see me, boss?
I want to be in the movie, too!
I don't know. There's already two villains. I don't think you'd be in it very much.
Put me in the movie!
Attention, bad guys!
A tiny bomb has been injected into all Ya'll's necks.
If you disobey me or try to escape, I will kill you.
Well, why didn't you put a bomb in the Enchantress? His neck?
Shut up! To show you how serious we are
One of you will soon be blown up with it.
Let me now introduce Slipknot!
These two things are in no way connected.
And let me now introduce Katana!
She's got a tragic back story.
Oh, no! Hawkeye is back!
I'm not Hawkeye!
Really? Two Hawkeye jokes in one video?
You're welcome.
And if you look out to your left, you will see where the bad guys are.
But first, we got to do a rescue mission.
But if we went and stopped the bad guys
now, we wouldn't have to do the rescue mission.
What are you so scared about?
It's not like we're going to shut down.
Is everyone all right?
You know it!
Hey! You wanna try and escape?
OK! Weeeee!
Bet you didn't see that coming.
Careful, Flag. The bad guys have created a faceless army up ahead.
I wonder how they did that.
Hey, you guys wanna kiss?
I do not consent (muffled kiss magic)
You're part of my army now.
Uh... Are you going to kiss everyone like that?
Ha ha ha ha ha! YEP!
Don't worry about killing them.
They only dust when they die.
Got to keep that PG-13 rating.
All right. Bad guys. Time show these monsters our secret weapon.
What's that?
Slooooooo Mooooooooo!
Sloooooo Moooooo!
Slow Mo!
Slooooooooow Mooooooooo!
Nah.
You don't want a fight?
Nah.
Can I do it then.
Sure.
Sloooooow Mooooooow!
All right, everyone.
Our rescue target is at the top of that there building
Who is it?
Not telling
Ah..dramatic tension. I get it.
No, just really stupid.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you
We got to be real smart about this.
Let's go real slow like.
See ya losers!
Wait, what?
I said we have to go slow like!
But seriously, though, how did you beat me up here?
It's an ambush!
Crap! My slow-mo's on cool down!
Me, too.
Me Three!
What about you, Diablo?
I said I don't want to fight!
Come on. Pretty please.
OK.
Now see a cool one liner!
You're... fired?
Really?
We're almost to the top now, so hurry up before one of you has a flash back scene.
Too late
Why are we doing this again?
It's so people remember that you're in this movie.
You about ready to escape.
But I still have a bomb in my neck.
I've got that all taken care of.
(muffled Puddin)
Hello, everyone.
Thanks for the rescue.
Wait. What?
Why are we rescuing you? This makes no sense.
I told you it was stupid.
Oh, I feel like such a good guy now. Yeah.
I thought we were supposed to do crazy suicide missions.
This is just disappointing.
I know right? Now let's get out of here.
Yeah, we got to the chopper.
Psych! It's actually me!
My hero!
Come on, baby. We got that bomb disarmed!
Weeeeee
So long, everyone!
Let's get out of here.
Now we can get married and have lots of babies!
On second thought.
Puddin!
It's not me. It's you!
It's definintely you!
Now it's my turn to escape.
Whatever you do, pilot
don't fly within range of the bad guy.
Gotcha!
Dang it! Somebody help!
you heard her bad guys.
Time for another rescue mission.
Man, this movie is not what I hoped it would be at all.
Don't forget about me.
Harley? I thought you got away.
Yeah, my boyfriend got cut out of the rest of the movie,
so I thought I'd just come kick it with you all again.
Yeah, but how did you make it back so fast?
Nothing in this movie makes sense!
All right, everyone, let's do this. Be prepared.
Who knows what we're about to face?
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Why am I not surprised?
Welcome, bad guys.
I'm a bad guy, too.
Don't you like my dance moves?
Careful! Don't fall under her spell!
Let's be friends.
I can give you exactly what you want.
Whoa. I killed Batman
Ughhhhh...... I'm totally dead.
We got married and had lots of babies.
Wow. My kids aren't dead!
Hey! Where's my vision?
Sorry they didn't give your character any backstory.
Hey, stupid.
You gave him one right now!
Them's fighting words.
Oh, brother, where art thou?
Coming!
This is bad. Don't worry, I have boomerangs!
Well, I'm dead.
Care to give me a hand?
Ha ha! I got regen powers!
Anyone else on our side hiding any shocking and fantastical abilities they'd like to disclose?
Like this?
Whoa. That's really cool.
It'd be a shame if he just suddenly died.
No!
And you're next. Wait.
What if we worked together and ruled the world instead?
OK. [Wow. Really? ]
So cool to see you actually doing something villainous for once.
Psych!
Dang it!
Now let's hit that sky beam with your secret weapon.
You know what to do, Harley!
Slow Mooooooo!
Slow Moooooooo!
Sloooooow Moooooooooo!
Well she dead.
Oh, too bad my girlfriend's dead, too.
I'm back!
Yeah!
and I'm still alive, too!
Boooo!
And everyone is going back to prison, but I'll do something
nice for each of you.
Fine.
I get to be the day
I get coffee.
I get TV.
Where's my nice thing?
You get nothing!
this movie really hates me!
hey there! [Puddin!]
I can't believe I actually get my happy ending.
Actually, we're going to break up before the next movie even starts.
Really? In hindsight, then, this ending kind of sucks.
You're telling me.