I'm going to be telling you in this video,
so, stay tuned.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert, attorney and author and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you tips, tricks and resources on how to
powerfully deal with and manage narcissists in your life.
If that is something that you want to be able to do,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
So I want to kind of talk to you in a very different way
in this video that I normally do, and that is talk about
what had actually nearly killed me, personally,
when I was trying to deal with those narcissists in my life and
some of the other videos, that I've talked about
how I had to deal with a couple of covert narcissists in my life.
Not as a husband but as one in a business setting and
one in our extended family and
I just wanted to share this with you because
it nearly killed me, left me feeling so drained, almost dead,
like they literally sucked the whole life out of me and
I never heard the word “energy vampire” before,
I started like diving into this world and
learning everything I could about narcissism,
but now, I understand why they call them that
I was like using the word leech,
I did understand that that's what it felt like,
I had never heard the word “energy vampire” before,
but I really felt like, Gosh!! I understood that
these people were really insecure and
I knew that I have a good sixth sense, a good intuition,
about how people are feeling and
what's going on with people and
so I had a sense that these people were jealous and
there was this like underlying kind of competition and
so when I feel that from people,
I tend to like go the other direction,
like go out of my way to try to make them feel comfortable,
like somehow becomes my responsibility
to make myself less, or smaller and
I don't do this anymore, just letting you know.
But in that time, I felt like somehow that,
if I try to make myself more on equal footing,
like try to prove that I didn't think that I was better and
that I would give everything I had already worked for, or earned and
look how generous I am with everything that I have and
that these people would appreciate it and
see how good I am, see what a wonderful person I am and
that they would somehow appreciate me for that and
what I realized though, is that somehow,
with narcissists, it's not that they appreciate it,
it's like somehow they're entitled to it,
like you should be doing this for me,
like that's the price you pay for being in their space,
like they just suck it in and like that's not even enough,
I want more, I want more, I want more and
especially the one that I dealt with in a business setting
it was like I gave, gave and gave and gave, especially,
all that I had earned, and all that I had worked for,
all the good things that I had already done in my life and
to the point of it nearly killing me and then,
when this person thought perceived that
a better source of supply comes along,
they kind of leeched onto that but then,
they still wanted to make me miserable, and
still wanted to keep me as a source of supply and
it was so wretched and it’s so traumatic and
so awful and yet, I was like,
oh my God, can't you see all I did for you and
just be grateful for what you’ve got,
but no, like they can't and somehow I thought
if I were good enough, if I were kind enough,
if I were that… and it's like the answer is no, they can't.
So, I'm so grateful because I have so many
amazing, incredible people in my world,
who are genuine, who are authentic,
you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are and
I know that what I am, is authentic and genuine,
the light that I am vibrating into the universe is
I'm so vigilant about defending because
I want to continue to attract incredible people into my world,
like the ones that I have around me now and
I do want to mention, by the way,
that I had the two covert narcissists in my life,
who were horrible, and I do have a video on
“Seven strange behaviors of covert narcissists”,
which I highly recommend you check out.
“Stop trying to make, not your people, your people”
It's one of my favorite quotes and
there are a couple of other things I want to say to you.
25% of the people in the world,
no matter what you're going to do,
they're not going to like you, so forget about them and
then there's the middle 50%, 25% may go one direction,
25% may come to the direction of loving you,
25% may go to the direction of not liking you, whatever
focus on the 25% of the people who love you, that's it.
That's a lot of people. That's a lot of people.
If there's seven or eight billion people in the world,
that's like two billion people. That's a lot.
I highly recommend a book called “The Four Agreements”,
I'll drop a link to it below, if you'd like,
it talks about four agreements that you make with yourself,
be impeccable with your word,
never take anything personally,
they're just really good, it's an easy read,
you can read it in a couple of hours and
it's made a huge impact on my life.
It's something you'll want to go back to
over and over again, really, really great.
So, I'm stopping giving myself to people who aren't worth my time.
I'm stopping.
I recommend that you do that too and
if you’re going to stop doing that,
You definitely need support, to surround yourself with people
who are worth giving your time and attention to.
In order to do that, I've created a Facebook community,
So please join me in that,
It's “Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
I will make sure to drop a link to that below as well.
Feel free to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Make sure you defend your light with your life,
don't get it to the point of nearly killing yourself.
That's what they want, and that's when they win.
I'm not allowing that anymore.
I'm not going to let you do that either,
that's why I devote my life and my time to doing this now.
So, I'm here for you, I'm supporting you and
together we're on this mission,
we’re on this crusade to make this world a better place.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Thanks for joining me today,
Thanks for listening, I'm here for you.
Today is a great day to start negotiating your best life
and it's always a great day to do that.
I don't just say that lightly,
I'm defending my light with my life and
I want you to do the same.
I will see you in the next video.