[Music]
The person I'm touching right now. Your name is no longer what it is.
Your name is now EIEIO for the remainder of the performance.
And if ever I were to get your name wrong get very upset.
Your name is EIEIO.
No physical contact with anyone in any way shape or form.
But you get more and more upset as the night goes on.
The person that you right now whenever you hear this next piece of music,
the Mexican jumping beans in your shoes have become active
causing your feet to go 100 miles per hour into an Irish jig.
Not only will your feet be going on a miles per hour your entire body will transform
into that of micro flat Li's of the River dance.
You're the lord of the dance the lead river dancer.
Putting on one hell of a show. Whenever you hear this piece of music listen to it carefully.
Record each and every note deep in your subconscious mind.
[Music]
So whenever you hear that piece of music gonna leap out of your chair head front
center stage. You begin putting on one hell of a show.
The person I'm touching right now whenever I shake your hand like this instantly,
You get the worst case of the jock itch ever.
Oh my god is like your balls are on fire.
You'll be scratching and adjusting but when I let go that feeling goes away.
But when I grab onto your hand again. Whoa! Ten times worse than the previous time.
It's like your balls are on fire. You're scratching
but when I let go how much about the rest of my legs.
Tell everybody you name.
EIEIO.
Nice to meet you sir. Nice to have you here. Pleasure to meet you.
Who came with EIEIO tonight make some noise?
Are you here by yourself? Sir are you here by yourself?
No.
Who came with EIEIO tonight clap your hands.
Oh you.
[Laughter]
How do you--- how do you guys--- how are you guys connected? How you guys ---
That's your dad.
What's that?
This guys has stupid fuckin name.
[Laughter]
Totally weird. I may have been a little offensive.
What's that?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean anything
Sometimes I shoot off my mouth. I don't know what I'm saying.
I apologize but it is a stupid fucking
Nice to have you here. Good to have you here.
You're?
Brian.
Okay. Who came with Brian tonight make some noise?
[Laughter]
Yours?
Daran
Daran nice to meet you. Good to have you here.
Who came but Darren tonight make some noises. Who's with Darren?
Who's with Darren tonight? Everybody. Everybody.
You guys know Darren?
Are you shitting me this three of you?
How do you know Darren?
That's your son and his?
[Laughter]
Your grandson.
Yeah!
You can't write this shit man. Are you for real?
Wow okay! Good. Good! Good to have you here.
Here we go! Back them up! Back them up. Back them up.
It's river dancing time! Here we go. b Back them up. Back them up.
[Music]
Oh hey! The more you clap, the faster Steve will go. Oh! Oh! Alright.
Show same fancy! Show some fancy. Ohh! Yeah! Nice!
[Nice]
One two and three. Oh whoa!
Daren right? What do you do?
Laser tag. You play it or you work at it?
I work it
Okay! Excellent and where're you from?
Nebraska. Omaha.
Nice to have you here. Nice to have you here.
When I guess it spawned grandpa from Omaha. You're joining Vegas so far?
Yeah.
Where you staying well hotel yeah?
The big green one, the tall little needle, the triangle looking one, or the Circus?
Circus. Circus.
Circus oh it's nice there. It's actually nice there.
One of the few hotels that actually turning a profit currently believe it or not.
That's true. All right. It's nice though there's no ballroom. No no ballroom at all.
Good. Good to have you here. Excellent. Good to have you here.
It's not polite to stare but I understand. How's that polite to stare? Jesus Christ.
Brian what is it you do?
Programming.
Okay and why you're from?
Omaha.
Alright that make sense.
EIEIO.
What about you sir? What do you do?
Retired vet.
Retired vet. Thank you for your service.
And what about you? Where what division or branch or the military?
Navy
Oh I love that song in the Navy.
And that were you from?
Omaha Nebraska
Right. Right next to the ocean there. That's great that's fantastic.
It's convenient to be in the Navy.
Real magic but before we get started on the whip up a love-potion
Normie to whip up the potion. I'm gonna need the spit of a virgin.
[Laughter]
I don't know what to do we never have them before. I don't even---
It's it's not that I don't believe you. That's a really good thing. It's great. That's great
It's not that I don't believe you. I just need to be a hundred and fifty percent sure
for the potion to work. So we're gonna use Shana that way we know
it's authentic and real. Thank you Shana.
Here we go. Real magic right before your very eyes.
[Laughter]
I used to remember.
Playing that game in the playground.
Dominic you can put that back on. You put that back on.
I should go and stand that up. I've never seen anyone put on the belt while seated.
What's that?
You still can't believe this guy's name.
Stupid. Can you imagine the parents are doing that shit to him.
I told my parents that's bad, EIEIO.
[Laughter]
How do you think the spell how do you think it spells it?
E-I-E-I-O
Yeah. That a good sound.
No just skip the line.
Whoa! Whoa! You Okay? Whoa! Whoa! Sorry about that! Whoa!
Next step! EIEIO!
[Music]
Yeah!
[Music]
Nice! Come on back. Put your hands together for Brian on the main stage.
Brian on the main stage. Brian on the main stage. Oh yeah!
Learned his moves from his father as you can tell. Put your hands together for Darin
Here he goes. Oh yeah! Oh my goodness!
[Music]
Three generations of dancing. Give it up for all of us strippers make some noise.
And Darren has pretty impressive. He's already behind the pole. You disappeared.
[Laughter]
I'm just teasing there you're so skinny. I'm afraid you're gonna fall through
your own asshole choke yourself to death if you're not careful
[Music]